It's amazing how I always put myself a second place in anything I'm doing. Second place in the sense that I earn and not think of me, what I need or what I should do for myself.
This has literally been a struggle for me in past years as I've been saddled with responsibilities of taking charge from a very young age. Psychologically, it made me not know how to ask for something even when I needed it, it made me very dependent and made me very cynical with having fun for me. I'll rather save up the money I have for an emergency than go to the masseuse. I wasn't ever disappointed as emergencies have always sprung up in one way or the other.
So, I hung out with my friends, and I was surprised when everyone was in agreement that I needed to take care of myself and give me a break from too many responsibilities both at home, work and church. It was so deep when one said: "since I know you, I've not heard about you saying you were wanting to do something for you."
Oh my! This was eye-opening. As much as I thought about this, my natural mind was asking me "so; how do you take care of those things, people and emergencies if you do this? Wouldn't you be acting selfishly?" and the answer came immediately from three of them at once, some things will always take care of themselves.
That's it. I think I've learnt to put me first no matter how selfless I am. I will have to learn to put my foot on the ground and say no sometimes. Not putting me first has set me back in so many ways and it sure has made me forget about taking care of me.
I know there are so many people out there, especially young women that have grown up with responsibilities beyond their age and this have psychologically shaped them to thinking taking care of them first is selfishness and putting family and others first means selflessness, please purge that off and take a few times to love on you by caring for you. As you do this, however, note that you need to strike a balance. Don't lose being selfless because you want to take care of you. Being selfless is part of you. The blessings will spring up from that area in most cases but don't forget you because of others.
As for those I've gathered the courage to ask and you ignored or rubbed it on my face, it made me trust God better. Thank you.
For those that have given selflessly, when I requested, despite what they had planned or budgeted, be rest assured that God will bless you more than you imagined.
That's it for today. #smiles
©Ala O. Wilcox
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