A good person is different from an intentional good person.
Ala, what do you mean?
I have seen lots of people who are good but have so many character flaws that if you choose to judge them by that, you wouldn’t classify them as good.
Character flaws are categorized differently.
For instance, someone might have grown up not doing the dishes in their home and, over the years, the person has concluded not knowing how to do the dishes.
This person might be intelligent, emphatic, spiritual, caring, etc. but lack this basic homely skill.
This person is good, right?!
If this person chooses to stick with “I don’t know how to do dishes and gets married and leaves all the dishes” for his wife even when she is ill or busy with their infant, does that stop the person from being a good person?
Not exactly. However, to the wife, she might see him as being insensitive when she is unable to really do the dishes, especially when she dislikes having dirty dishes lying around.
An intentional good person will however, first accept that he is short in the area of washing dirty dishes (awareness), then he will make up his mind to take steps to start doing it in order to get better at it. Then he starts doing it.(This shows intentionality).
Truth be told, growing up not doing something or knowing how to do something when it’s a necessary skill to acquire isn’t an excuse for not learning how to do it.
If you were all alone in a place where you know no one, wouldn’t you make an effort to do it?
You could pile them up for days, but one day you will do it grumbling under your breath.
I see people say, “that is how I am” and I wonder how they can be grownups yet be immature in how their minds work.
Be an intentional good person.
A friend of mine used to be addicted to pornography and when he finally broke out of it, he took intentional steps to protect himself from relapsing.
There are a few times he would call and say, Ala, I mistakenly saw this, and it triggered me to look. However, I’ve taken these steps by unfollowing who triggered it, or going off social media for a few days, etc.
That is trying to be accountable and intentional about being a better version of himself.
He is married now, and his wife is now his accountability partner.
So many people are married to and are in relationships with good people that are not intentional to be better versions of themselves.
If you are not an intentional good person, try to be. It will do you, your spouse (future spouse), your children, family, life and society good.
My Thoughts.
©Ala Pepple
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