Forgive: to stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake; to no longer feel angry about or wish to punish (an offence, flaw, or mistake).
Since the last time I said I was going to post on my blog; I've been having a nudge to write on forgiveness and I've not been able to write about any other thing.
I've been holding back, because, you know me na, I don't have any form of shyness when it comes to revealing something about me that will teach another person to be and do better and I'm a shy person that is not shy.ðŸ¤
Soooooo, 2019 was my year to forgive. I call it that because a few persons I trusted hurt me so much that it was almost necessary to disgrace them.😄 It wasn't funny sha o.
So I process things a lot and I'm not a hasty decision maker, but when I make up my mind, forget it. Only God can fit....😉
Yes, I was hurt, but I knew the only way I could undo the hurt was to forgive. The question was then, "how do I forgive the way God would want me to?" Trust me, I have forgiven in the past, somuch that sometimes I forget how much they hurt me, but my mum would always keep me in check. And I'm grateful for that because forgiveness comes with knowing your place, worth and value with whow you have forgiven.
Anyways, this past year forgiveness was on another level. Betrayal 001, on every level. The tablet was extremely bitter to chew, but I knew I had to take it.
So, I decided to take on prayers for myself to let it go, because truth is, only God can help you let go of some things that hurt you.
I remember sleeping that night crying bitterly, asking God why good people are vulnerable to people who betray them because of their decision to trust.
My dear, as I woke up the next morning, I was heavy and I couldn't hold the tears, it took the best of me.ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ Guess what I heard strongly in my spirit? PRAY FOR THEM FOR 10DAYS. I was led to write some prayer points on my prayer journal that morning and it shocked me that they all had to do with blessing these individuals who hurt me and praying for their true salvation. Chai!!😢🙆♀️ Lord it's not fair this thing you're telling me to do o. I want to pray for myself rather, you are instructing me to pray for them, morning and night. Welldone sir.
I eventually embarked on that journey of prayer and everytime I did, I cried my heart out. But from the 4th day, I realized I wasn't as touchy as I used to be, and before the 10th day, I was all free. Peace unfathomable. I found out that when I came in contact with them, I just pitied them for their naivety. They feel guilty (I suppose), but they can't say. As for me, I have moved on with my life with peace. Till tomorrow they always have this defensive attitude when I'm around but me I just laugh.
A few persons that know the whole story always say to me, "Ala, i don't know how you do it", but I always tell them, it's not just Ala, it's the Holyspirit.
Have you been hurt so deeply and badly by the people you trust? Are you caught in the web of anger when you see/remember/hear some persons because of what they did to you? If you search deep down, and you realize that you are living in unforgiveness, you have to ask The Holyspirit to help you let it go.
I know this is for someone out here.
Forgive! Let it go! Forget! It's for your sanity.
BUT, forgiving and forgetting doesn't mean you shouldn't be wise enough to remember the place of the ones you have forgiven.
As for the stories behind this write up, in due time, if I'm led to, I would share. I'm not promising though, but sha, forgive.😉
And if you've been hurt and you find it difficult to scale through, or you have a forgiveness story and you wouldn't mind sharing how you forgave, please share with me via alaowilcox@gmail.com.
▪︎ Ala O. Wilcox
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