Ala Pepple, The Space Therapist? But Why?

 

I am Ala Pepple, a Space Therapist.

Most times, people ask me why I call myself The Space Therapist, let me explain why.

As an interior designer, I’ve often encountered a curious yet common scenario: I meet clients with a vague sense of what they want for their spaces but struggle to express it. They might say, “I know I want something different,” or “I’m just not sure how to make this room work,”  or "I don't know what I want," or "anything you give me, I'll take, I trust your expertise." While they may have a feeling of what they want, articulating it and narrowing down their vision is a whole different challenge. This is where the art of patience, active listening, and thoughtful direction comes into play.

Over time, I’ve come to refer to myself as "The Space Therapist" because, much like a therapist, my role is not to impose my vision on the space, but to help my clients uncover their own. I’ve learned that they often already have an idea of what they need, but the path to finding it can be a winding one. It’s my job to guide them gently, allowing them to uncover their thoughts and desires. Interior design, after all, is a deeply personal experience, and understanding the client’s emotional connection to their space is key to creating something that truly resonates.

When clients come to me, they typically come with fragmented ideas: a vague desire for coziness, a need for functionality, or an image of something they saw online that sparked their imagination. But here's the catch—they don’t always know how to verbalize these desires.

This is where the power of active listening comes in. Active listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the underlying emotions and intentions behind them. By asking open-ended questions and giving clients the time and space to talk freely, I encourage them to explore their thoughts and feelings about their living or working environment, and even their families and friends.

For example, when a client says, “I want a modern look,” I don’t just take it at face value. I’ll ask, “What aspects of modern design appeal to you?” or “How do you want this space to feel?” These questions guide them to think more deeply about their preferences and intentions, helping me gather the right clues to guide my design process. It’s through these conversations that their desires start to come into sharper focus.

Designing a space is not an overnight process. It’s not about rushing to a conclusion but about building a relationship with the space—and with the client. Just like therapy, the design process involves trust, vulnerability, and the patience to let ideas evolve. Clients may start off uncertain, but as we dive deeper into discussions, we begin to uncover their core needs. (This usually distorts the quotation, but it's usually a sacrifice on my part)

This part of the journey requires patience. Often, clients need time to process their thoughts, feel comfortable enough to open up, and gradually define what they want. It’s not uncommon for clients to change their minds or realize that their first instinct doesn’t align with what they truly desire. That’s completely normal. The design process is a fluid, ever-evolving conversation.

I’ve found that when clients feel heard and their input is valued, they start to trust the process and open up more. It’s this patience and trust that forms the foundation of a successful collaboration, allowing me to craft interiors that speak to their individual personalities, tastes, and aspirations.

While my clients may be unsure of their exact desires, they often know when something feels right. That’s where my role as a space therapist takes on an additional layer of responsibility—providing direction. After guiding my clients through the process of self-discovery, I offer curated suggestions and tailored advice that align with their now-clear vision.

This is not about imposing a one-size-fits-all solution, but about presenting them with choices that match their newly articulated desires. I might suggest a color palette based on a conversation about their mood preferences or recommend furniture styles that fit the practical needs they've shared. Through the application of my expertise, I help steer the design process while maintaining the integrity of their original vision.

As with therapy, direction doesn’t mean controlling the conversation; it’s about giving my clients the tools they need to confidently express themselves. It’s about fostering an environment where they feel empowered to make decisions, knowing they have my professional guidance every step of the way.

In the end, the interior design process is a journey—a therapeutic one, at that. Clients come to me uncertain, but through patience, active listening, and thoughtful direction, their desires become clear. The transformation isn’t just about their physical space, but about their emotional connection to it. When they see the final result, they often express a sense of relief, clarity, and joy—because together, we’ve created something that feels truly aligned with who they are.

This is why I call myself The Space Therapist. I don’t just design spaces; I guide my clients through an introspective journey that helps them uncover the best version of their interior world. In the end, it’s not just about creating a beautiful space—it’s about designing a space that truly speaks to their heart.

Remember that at Jedacox Imaginations, we see spaces as canvases we create life in.

ALA PEPPLE

#MyWhy #interiordesigner #interiorspaces #alapepple #viral #read #clients #blog #why

A Good Mother Or Not?

 

During my visit to the hospital, the doctor asked me the weight of my baby at birth and my response was that I didn’t know.

The doctor looked at me surprisingly and his next statement was “but it’s not been long you had her.” 

I smiled knowing that if he asked me more questions besides her blood group and date of birth, he would be wasting his time to get a response.

Truth be told, I get confused with the year sometimes, but I have managed to register it now.😅

After I got married, I realized I started having more mummies give me details on child birth and somany intrinsic details that I always wondered how they would remember such after tens of years.

Knowing me and knowing my kind of memory for some kind of details, I just knew it would be difficult to keep up. But just maybe, when I become a mother, this kind of memory might just fall on me.

Fafafa fowl!🤣😂😅 It became worse.

I managed to hold on to my daughter's weight, height, the exact time of delivery and other details for about 5 months and only the most important to the best of my understanding stuck with me.

Does this mean I’m not a good mother?

I see a lot of women judge themselves because they can’t hold on to things like these. Especially when they see other women talking about things like these and they are trying hard to remember but can’t remember.

I, for one, dislike waking up early except it’s business related, but I force myself to do so for the sake of my little girl. At some point I was asking myself why we took her to school when she’s not even up to two. I accept I’m learning on that but I wouldn’t judge myself as not a good mother because of that.

Motherhood is such a beautiful yet painful journey. Everything about the woman changes. Even if she’s killing it like nothing has changed, she’s just doing a good job masking the changes and giving the best of herself out there.

Hello Mother, judge not thyself. You are doing an amazing job. 

Carrying a child, birthing the child, nursing the child and still trying to be all that you can be is not an easy feat.

Sometimes you wish you could take a break from motherhood? And this happens so often?

It doesn’t make you less of a wonderful mom.

As to the question if I’m a good mom or not, my response is, I’M A FANTASTIC and FABULOUS MOM.

I know you are too.🤗

I’m rooting for you.👍🏽

©Ala Pepple.

#alapepple #mother #motherhood #iwd #mothersday

THE GOOD PERSON & THE INTENTIONAL GOOD PERSON

A good person is different from an intentional good person.

Ala, what do you mean?

I have seen lots of people who are good but have so many character flaws that if you choose to judge them by that, you wouldn’t classify them as good.

Character flaws are categorized differently. 

For instance, someone might have grown up not doing the dishes in their home and, over the years, the person has concluded not knowing how to do the dishes. 

This person might be intelligent, emphatic, spiritual, caring, etc. but lack this basic homely skill.

This person is good, right?!

If this person chooses to stick with “I don’t know how to do dishes and gets married and leaves all the dishes” for his wife even when she is ill or busy with their infant, does that stop the person from being a good person?

Not exactly. However, to the wife, she might see him as being insensitive when she is unable to really do the dishes, especially when she dislikes having dirty dishes lying around.

An intentional good person will however, first accept that he is short in the area of washing dirty dishes (awareness), then he will make up his mind to take steps to start doing it in order to get better at it. Then he starts doing it.(This shows intentionality).

Truth be told, growing up not doing something or knowing how to do something when it’s a necessary skill to acquire isn’t an excuse for not learning how to do it.

If you were all alone in a place where you know no one, wouldn’t you make an effort to do it?

You could pile them up for days, but one day you will do it grumbling under your breath.

I see people say, “that is how I am” and I wonder how they can be grownups yet be immature in how their minds work.

Be an intentional good person.

A friend of mine used to be addicted to pornography and when he finally broke out of it, he took intentional steps to protect himself from relapsing.

There are a few times he would call and say, Ala, I mistakenly saw this, and it triggered me to look. However, I’ve taken these steps by unfollowing who triggered it, or going off social media for a few days, etc. 

That is trying to be accountable and intentional about being a better version of himself.

He is married now, and his wife is now his accountability partner.

So many people are married to and are in relationships with good people that are not intentional to be better versions of themselves.

If you are not an intentional good person, try to be. It will do you, your spouse (future spouse), your children, family, life and society good.

My Thoughts.

©Ala Pepple

#alapepple #good #life #lessons #blog

WETIN DEY SMELL?

 

“Wetin Dey smell?” My mum asked as I drove out of the filling station. “Na the fuel o! E Dey smell like something wey rotten” she said.

I tried to turn on my nasal senses but then again, I thought in my head, do I want to perceive what is rotten under this hot and harmattan breeze?

I immediately tried to take my mind off the smell.

As I did, it brought to my mind how we borrow perceptions from people and situations because we turn on our sensory system to feel what they feel and perceive what they perceive. In turn, we borrow their perceptions and it then seems like it’s ours.

Some persons have borrowed and replaced theirs without even knowing they have.

You read on that blog, IG or X about marriage and you feel they are living your reality. They say all men are scum and you take it hook line and sinker. It gets so real that the kind of men that approach you act like scum.

They say all men are cheats and you take the pill with your full chest. It then surprises you that the men who come close to you are flirts and cheats?

You know, the gates which are the eyes, ears, mouth and nose are so important yet we take them for granted.

What you see, hear, speak and perceive become your reality.

This is the sole reason why I don’t joke with social media. I protect what I see and read. If someone I follow starts posting things that do not align with things I value, I unfollow. It’s so serious that if they start posting half naked ladies, I unfollow.

I’m a lady right? Why should half naked girls bother me when I’m a lady too?

Truth is I don’t support indecency so it’s against things I value. I move.

This also happens with half naked guys or guys highly within my speck. I just avoid the temptation of going into comparison of them with my husband.

Being intentional about things you let in will do you a lot of good.

Now, think about it, WETIN DEY SMELL?!

My Thoughts.

©Ala Pepple

#life #alawilcoxblog #alapepple # story #reality

SCARS

 A scar is a mark remaining after the injured tissue has healed.

Growing up, I had lots of bittersweet experiences, but I smiled through them. This is one of the reasons my very close friends call me strong. Something terrible can happen to me and I show up like it was something very trivial.

I have experienced abandonment, molestation, rape, robbery, one-chance, betrayal, near kidnap for me, while my friend was kidnapped at gunpoint before my eyes and more. These experiences have helped me see life from a more vigilant, constructive, and analytic perspective.

A scar indicates that you have been healed, yet reminds you of what you have gone through. My cesarean scar reminds me of the sacrifice I had to make to birth my Angel. My appendicitis scar reminds me of the excruciating pain I had to go through physically, mentally, and emotionally as it was assumed that I was pregnant, and my mum was told to take me for a test because they saw me talking with a boy on the street (one of the reasons I hate hearsays and I give people benefit of the doubt except proven otherwise.)

Scars can be for a good cause, and even if it wasn’t for good when it happened, it taught you something. It gave you an experience that can help you make better decisions in life and help you navigate a path where you avoid making mistakes you made before that resulted in getting wounded.

I remember a friend saying “Was he not the one that raped you?” during an argument because she wanted to make a point. It hurt so much at that time, not because I was ashamed she said it where strangers were but because it was something I shared in confidence, and thinking she could win an argument or prove a point by rubbing that in,  was a level of betrayal I couldn’t comprehend, however, I got over it almost immediately. One of my slogans is, “You cannot shame the shameless.” Life goes on. I only realized my true place and level of value in that friend’s life. (Realize I still term the person a friend?)

Recently, I was genuinely concerned about a friend’s safety, especially as her mum always called to ask me about her whereabouts. It happened to be that I had to always put a call through to have an idea of where she was at in order to be able to account for her if her mum couldn’t reach her. On this particular day, the last I heard from her was when she said she was going to pick up an item, and I didn’t know where or what it was.

I tried reaching her about two hours after I spoke with her and it rang once and was switched off immediately after. I was okay until it was almost 8 p.m. which was five hours later. I got worried that I was forced to call a mutual friend who said she had not heard from her all day. I literally started panicking. I could hear the sound of my heartbeat in my chest. This is very unusual for me but I’m guessing it’s because of how much of police officers I’ve seen recently mounting on the road that are relentless and don’t care if it’s a woman or a man driving, and after the EndSARS protest that revealed a lot of misdeeds from some officers, I am not too trusting of their incessant mounts on the road.

Well, can you guess what she told me on the phone because I called two people to find out if they heard from her? She said to me “I was always thinking evil.” This threw me off-balance and I became dumbfounded. I even cried. (Whew!)

My experiences have made me be more vigilant and careful. I wear my scars with pride but I don’t think evil. This made me understand that you can genuinely love people and do things because you care but they could interpret it otherwise. Don’t beat yourself over them. Love them from a distance, care for them as Christ has instructed us to, but respect your boundaries in their lives. You might have assumed more boundaries than you are given, and that’s okay. Just learn and move on.

Personally, I am Minister for Mind Your Business affairs, until you give me room to come closer. I respect boundaries too, and I have made her know that I understand perfectly, the boundaries I shouldn’t cross. Let me face myself and my family.

Well, it brought to the forefront of my mind that our experiences could come with scars, nevertheless, they help us do better if we choose to.

I rest my case.

 

ALA PEPPLE©

Have you had any similar experience? What did you learn? Kindly share with me.

#blogpost #blog #scars #lessons #life #post #blogger #alapepple

TODAY (ePISODE 4)

Today was quite interesting. It started off with my Bible plan for today which had an action section that requested that in this season of Christmas, I help a random person who wouldn't expect me to. 

I love thinking out of the norm, so I was thinking of what I could do asides from giving to the less privileged or widow. It was not until later hours of the afternoon when a driver who didn't hear clearly my destination, stopped me halfway through my journey and wanted me to pay double for something that would have cost me the same amount as what he took. 

Truth is, the day had been looking for ways to get me upset but I bluntly refused. This was just one of the tricks of getting on my nerves as the sun was excruciatingly hot. 

I finally got off the taxi without many words and as I considered the sun, taking another vehicle and walking, I decided to walk, but just before I crossed over to continue my journey, I saw four women wearing a beautiful uniforms. The material was so unique that I couldn't ascertain if it was meeting people or occasion attendees. However, I noticed it looked like they were in a little argument and one person was taking the heat, but there was something striking about her, and that was her blouse. Whoever made it, sabi the work. In the midst of the tense atmosphere, I told her your blouse is beautiful and to the other ladies, I mentioned with a smile that they looked good. The atmosphere was the total opposite of what it was before I have those compliments.

As they smiled and said thank you, I realized that I just gave peace, love, joy, and contentment to people I didn't know.

Giving is far beyond the physical and emotional, it transcends to the psychological which affects every other aspect. The self-esteem of these women has been ignited and that has killed a tough thought process I can't explain. 

I also gave a girl in the eatery a compliment about her slippers. Oh my! She was glowing. 

This taught me that, people go through a lot that money can't completely buy. If you put a smile on a person's face by just saying nice things to them, you improved a life. 

Wouldn't you rather live life improving other lives with just little things you don't need money to get? 

Improve a life today.

Old but essential post.😊

Ala Pepple

Pelumi my friend

Pelumi (not her real name) used to be my very close friend, however, after a few years, we realized we didn't really share the same values.

When we met at the wedding where we sat together in, it seemed like we were like minds. After we shared our contacts and became WhatsApp buddies, with time I inherently thought we shared the same values.

You know that thing where you post a thing and the person is telling you what you would ordinarily say? At times, it looked like she picked my brain in some matters. Her boyfriend on the other hand was totally different from who she depicted to be. He loved parties, he drank a lot, he knew how to give her the silent treatment when they had issues and he flirted a lot.

I don't use to put my mouth out in relationship matters. Even when they ask my opinion, I use wisdom and never sound direct (before they'll use me and settle matters.)😃

As we became closer friends and she shared stuff with me, I always asked her why she put up with everything, but she never really had the right words to express herself.

Her other friends I got to meet, on the other hand, saw nothing wrong with sleeping with married men, cheating in their relationships, and lying. I was extremely uncomfortable with that because it didn't merge with who I have worked myself to be. I would usually be mute anytime I was caught up with them. I literally started using my tongue to count my teeth around Pelumi, despite the fact that she didn't really portray these characters.

I've had really crazy friends before. In fact, I still do, but over the years, I've seen them transform to be better people. I've seen some meet Jesus and their lives have changed for the best. Some have just matured into choosing what is right to what is wrong. This has made me always give room to people despite their shortcomings. Jesus also exemplified that for us while He was here on earth.

It's been about two years of friendship with Pelumi and boom, I realized she wasn't who she has been claiming to be.

Pelumi lied so easily. When I noticed her words didn't always add up, I started doubting everything she told me about her now ex-boyfriend. While Pelumi came visiting, we took a stroll and one of her lovers saw us. He made the mistake of saying some nasty things (that seemed sexy to him) and he was literally hitting on me too. She told him I wouldn't be interested, but he was adamant, thinking I was like her other friends. Embarrassed and speechless was what I was when he made reference to a night they had a threesome and I remember that she was still dating her ex then.

Immediately we left his presence, I started asking questions as a good friend should, but she became defensive when her words didn't add up and I cross-questioned her with facts. At that point, I knew it was time to give a long rope. But I decided to give a few chances for her to be honest with me. 

In no time, I realized my friend took any chance to party. She was a social butterfly and wouldn't say no to any occasion. I also realized that she was an impulsive spender as she spent to show off. When she hung out with the girls, she sorted the bills and would go broke trying to look like a big girl.

No wonder she always complained of not having cash even when she had a job that paid well. I started understanding why some days she would be incommunicado and would always have stories of how she needed to take some days to cool off whereas, in reality, she never takes time to spend with her thoughts.

I have social butterflies as friends but I know they say no sometimes and they shut out and recuperate in some cases.

I've tried to talk to Pelumi to try to do a review of her life by having an honest conversation with herself because I sincerely see a better person.

Pelumi is set in her ways and I'm now fully minding my business as na woman like me she be.

Why did I say Pelumi's story?

She once said, "I always go out because that's how I relax."

My question is, is it possible to not have time for yourself privately and still be relaxed? Do people really function well without being retrospective once in a while? How does always being out and social without alone time help people relax?

Pelumi and I talk once in a while, but I no longer see her as my friend. Friends don't lie about who they are. They tell you the truth and allow you to accept them for who they are. Pretending to share values you don't believe in is deceitful.

Another thing is, your company really matters. It is a reflection of who you are. This is not totally true, but imagine how her friend thought I was one of the threesome types just because I was hanging out with her.

When I was younger, it didn't mean much to me how you are, but now, it's of extreme importance.

This is the end of my story.

Kindly list the lessons you derived from this story.

Ala Onyeka Pepple

#blog #pelumi #friends #blogger #story #questions #life #decisions #lessons