The Old Bra

Everyone has one or two things they are attached to. It could be a wristwatch, an earring, a jersey, a pair of jeans that just fits perfectly, etc. 
By the way, attached to doesn't necessarily mean addicted to. Can anyone really be addicted to this kind of items I mentioned? Thinking about it, I really doubt so. 

I was walking through a regular major road when I sighted in a lingerie shop a bra that was really simple but colorful and I thought will suit me perfectly. I didn't believe myself when  I walked in and purchased it despite the very high price because I'm naturally not an impulsive spender or buyer. 
Fast forward to about a year after, I noticed the spikes were out and it injured me. I tried fixing it because I loved it but after so many failed attempts, I left it. 
A few months later, I got attracted to it as I just loved the colors in my bag and chose not to discard it. I eventually put it on and when I got home, I noticed I had hurt myself greatly, obviously by myself for not listening to myself. I discarded it that night but as I did, I found out I learned something new. 

*****
(1) We meet people, we get acquainted with them, but when we realize these people are harmful to us, we just keep them around, perhaps feeling guilty that it wouldn't be fair to let go or we create a few excuses for them. We know these people should be gone far off from but we choose to stick to them and end up getting hurt. 
Truth is, if you don't discard them, you will remain where you are, feeling joy within a moment and experiencing pain the most part of your life.

(2) There are habits we know deep down are not helping us. It could be laziness or procrastination, but we just continue lazying through it, thinking its okay, "that's how I'm wired" we would lie to ourselves. Truth is, we know how many opportunities we've lost as a result of it but we just stick with it without trying to get rid of it. 
The shocking reality is, it could destroy you if you don't let it go. 

Toxic people and toxic relationships should be discarded like the old bra. It/they might seem beautiful, comforting and attractive but they could destroy you before you even retire from life. 
Say no to toxic people and habits and live a life without pain or fake joy. 

I rest my case. 

My Thoughts. 

What are the best ways to let go of toxic people without creating tension? 

What would be your advice to a person who wants to come off laziness but can't seem to? 

Does attachment really mean addiction?

Please drop your comments.

©Ala O. Wilcox.

MY LIFE IS A STORY 2 (THE RELATIONSHIP THAT TURNED BIZARRE)

He was an old friend that I started nursing feelings for somehow. No! My friends wouldn’t even believe me if I said I nursed feelings for him but it was necessary for them to doubt because I termed it a start and quench feeling. He was that kind of friend that when he got close, we would look all mushy but when he was gone; I might not even remember we were really close. I’m sure some of you have cast a stone at me with questions like “why didn’t you call when he was away?” my dear, I’m not perfect and I have my own struggles too but, that is story for another day. 

Where was I? Okay! After some years of not reaching out to each other, he finally reached to me and this time we went beyond being friends after a few months to being in a relationship but with the/a clause “any day the feelings seemed to be diverted to another person, we would let ourselves in on it” cause kpatakpata, at least “no be marriage yet”, plus the fact that we have liked ourselves for a while but took time to really realize that and the off and on syndrome we operated in before now. Truth is, in reality, there was a need for that clause.

Fast forward to a few months into the relationship, when we were “in love”. Hahaha! Love oh!

When this intoxicated love started clearing off, I was told that “I advice too much”. The shock that gripped me that day in the eatery was unimaginable but as the babe that I am, I just maintained and took all the answers to my questions for reasons why we were drifting apart.

I was offended for such a flimsy reason but I had to also ask myself questions, have retrospect of conversations I’ve had with him and called a few friends to do a survey on me and conversations and I came to a conclusion that I had to work on not always providing solutions when I’ve not been asked to which means I don’t give advice especially in a relationship when I am not asked of my opinion. Now, this has a deeper meaning attached but I’ll let your minds dissect what it means.

We are no longer in a relationship but we remain just friends.

*****

•    Many times, we want to point accusing fingers to someone else but seize to look at ourselves first and see what we get wrong we could correct.

•    One’s complaint of you might be inconsequential to you but if you look deeper than the emotional hurt you feel, you will find something you could change about you that will make you better and more logical than you thought you would ever be.

•    Your past is your past but it is a roadmap to a better future. Learn every part of it as it prepares you for tomorrow.

•    Meanwhile, you’ve got feelings for someone doesn’t mean you must end up together. Let it go when you notice you are not compatible. A relationship is not a must.

•    Give advice where and when it is needed except in cases you just need to. Especially with younger ones.

That’s it.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

©Ala Onyeka Wilcox