I chuckled so hard as I saw the size of my tummy in the mirror. No wonder my mum had not let me hear word since she got back from the Christmas holiday. She'll always announce to me when she visits "Onyi, you have really added weight o! From your tummy to your thighs." I'll always laugh and tell her, "mummy, is tummy that big o, I did not kii person. By the way, it's as a result of eating every sweet thing that crossed me, drinking soda (even if I watched this more), and eating by past 1 am."
I was literally laughing at myself as all this played out in my head.
I remember how worried I was when I left the hospital and it felt like a ball dropped down in my tummy. I was so scared and perturbed that I disturbed my husband to go to the hospital before the time I was required to come. When my vitals were checked, I was told my BP was really high. This has never happened to me before. I sha told the nurse that it was because I was worried, she shouldn't worry as it will go down in no time. There are some things I spoke to God about regarding my life and health, and I know He wouldn't let me have them.
As it got to my turn to see the doctor, he looked at me and asked if it was me he was seeing that had that high bp reading. I laughed at it. Truth is, while waiting, I had spoken with some mothers who told me they doubted it was something I needed to worry about as it would normalize. The doctor insisted to check my bp first just to be sure that I was okay. Well, my bp was very normal when he checked. We literally laughed about it.
I laid down and he checked me and assured me I was okay and told me that the womb was going to go back to its normal position with time.
Nna eh, I wasn't told CS was like this o! When I was induced to birth my baby that stopped breathing after over six months, I suffered seating in hot water and enduring the hot press, but my tummy was back and better in no time.
I'm not used to having a big tummy so this became a thing for me. I wasn't comfortable with myself. I wore big clothes that made me look really fat, I literally covered up anytime my husband was around and I got angry that he wasn't looking at me plenty plenty when I made the sacrifice for the two of us.πI wanted him to make me feel validated.
Well, I got tired at some point and started talking to myself to snap out of it.
Ahnahn now! There are ladies that haven't gone through the stress of childbirth and my tummy is better than theirs so why do I have to break my head? (It's no comparison, it's giving me morale.)
I consciously started snapping out of it and feeling good in my new look.
This doesn't mean I am not going to work on myself, but, I need time to BREATHE. It's almost like I was pregnant for sixteen months, then I want to snap out of the stretch and stress in six months. Impossicant!
Meanwhile, this tummy thing is on and off o. Some days, it will reduce, other days, it will surmount.π
Why am I writing this sef?
Hello new momma, you've just brought a human into this world. Some of our genes will not permit us to just snap back to shape like some would, so, give yourself a break. This doesn't mean you should be unkept and just be anyhow, but, take your time with yourself. In time, you will have the strength and courage to take on exercise and dieting. In time, you would either take a new shape that you should love or go back to the old shape you use to love.
Give yourself time.
Heal. Live. Nurture yourself and your baby. Don't expect so much validation from your spouse, validate yourself by yourself. Your spouses' validation should just be a topping on the cake. Take care of your mental health. Anywhere you know they'll stress you, stay away.
You need to be mentally good to take on your new role.
Society expects us to still be everything we were before we embarked on this mummy journey but who says you must do whatever society thinks of you?
Go easy on yourself mama.π
Daddy wa, soon to be daddy, your wife needs all the support you never thought she needs. This is the time she expects you to look in her eyes and tell her 'she is beautiful.' Tell her how courageous she is for embarking on this journey for both of you. Tell her to take her time and that you would be there to show mental support when she is ready to start keeping fit. Trust me, your words will mean more than any other human's words at this time. She will feel loved and would have the courage to be ready earlier. Do things for her like charging her phone, giving her warm water to drink in the morning and maybe at night, help change the baby's diaper at night. Encourage her to extract milk so that she could take some rest at night while you take over the duty. Truth is, the majority of women love acts of service in this vulnerable time.
You can tell me thank you when she starts loving and adoring you more when you do these things.π
As for me chuckling now, shebi I cannot come and kee myself? α»nα»₯ α»₯tα» (sweet mouth) did not allow me to be great stomach-wise this festive period.π Accept me as I have accepted myself.π (Google helped me with the igbo of course.)π
My story haf finish.
Byebye!π
Ala Onyeka Pepple.
Your Space Therapist and every other thing I'm good at.π
#blog #blogger #mybigtummy #story #life #motherhood #childbirth #wife #emotions #lessons #courage #heal #mentalhealth #validate #breathe
