A scar is a mark remaining after the injured tissue has healed.
Growing up, I had lots of bittersweet experiences, but
I smiled through them. This is one of the reasons my very close friends call me
strong. Something terrible can happen to me and I show up like it was something
very trivial.
I have experienced abandonment, molestation, rape,
robbery, one-chance, betrayal, near kidnap for me, while my friend was
kidnapped at gunpoint before my eyes and more. These experiences have helped
me see life from a more vigilant, constructive, and analytic perspective.
A scar indicates that you have been healed, yet
reminds you of what you have gone through. My cesarean scar reminds me of the
sacrifice I had to make to birth my Angel. My appendicitis scar reminds me of the
excruciating pain I had to go through physically, mentally, and emotionally as
it was assumed that I was pregnant, and my mum was told to take me for a test
because they saw me talking with a boy on the street (one of the reasons I hate
hearsays and I give people benefit of the doubt except proven otherwise.)
Scars can be for a good cause, and even if it wasn’t
for good when it happened, it taught you something. It gave you an experience
that can help you make better decisions in life and help you navigate a path
where you avoid making mistakes you made before that resulted in getting wounded.
I remember a friend saying “Was he not the one that
raped you?” during an argument because she wanted to make a point. It hurt so
much at that time, not because I was ashamed she said it where strangers were
but because it was something I shared in confidence, and thinking she could win
an argument or prove a point by rubbing that in, was a level of betrayal I couldn’t
comprehend, however, I got over it almost immediately. One of my slogans is, “You
cannot shame the shameless.” Life goes on. I only realized my true place and
level of value in that friend’s life. (Realize I still term the person a
friend?)
Recently, I was genuinely concerned about a friend’s
safety, especially as her mum always called to ask me about her whereabouts. It happened
to be that I had to always put a call through to have an idea of where she was at
in order to be able to account for her if her mum couldn’t reach her. On this
particular day, the last I heard from her was when she said she was going to
pick up an item, and I didn’t know where or what it was.
I tried reaching her about two hours after I spoke
with her and it rang once and was switched off immediately after. I was okay
until it was almost 8 p.m. which was five hours later. I got worried that I was
forced to call a mutual friend who said she had not heard from her all day. I literally
started panicking. I could hear the sound of my heartbeat in my chest. This is
very unusual for me but I’m guessing it’s because of how much of police
officers I’ve seen recently mounting on the road that are relentless and don’t care
if it’s a woman or a man driving, and after the EndSARS protest that revealed a
lot of misdeeds from some officers, I am not too trusting of their incessant
mounts on the road.
Well, can you guess what she told me on the phone because
I called two people to find out if they heard from her? She said to me “I was always thinking evil.” This threw
me off-balance and I became dumbfounded. I even cried. (Whew!)
My experiences have made me be more vigilant and
careful. I wear my scars with pride but I don’t think evil. This made me
understand that you can genuinely love
people and do things because you care but they could interpret it otherwise.
Don’t beat yourself over them. Love them from a distance, care for them as Christ
has instructed us to, but respect your boundaries in their lives. You might have
assumed more boundaries than you are given, and that’s okay. Just learn and move
on.
Personally, I am Minister for Mind Your Business
affairs, until you give me room to come closer. I respect boundaries too, and I
have made her know that I understand perfectly, the boundaries I shouldn’t cross.
Let me face myself and my family.
Well, it brought to the forefront of my mind that our
experiences could come with scars, nevertheless, they help us do better if we
choose to.
I rest my case.
ALA PEPPLE©
Have you had any similar experience? What did you
learn? Kindly share with me.
#blogpost #blog #scars #lessons #life #post #blogger #alapepple
