SKWESKWE!!

My body was doing me skweskwe that period. Skweskwe is a way of me saying 'have sex, have sex'. 😁Please don't come and ask me this question in person, I'm shy🙄.

So since it was doing me like that, I needed to talk to someone to find out when was safe and unsafe for me and there was no better person than a sisi that was in the game regularly to give me the information I needed. Especially as google was not our well known friend that year.
The chikala I asked told me, 7 days before and 7 days after menstruation were my protected days. I struggled somuch in my heart and I could not ask my friends in school then before they will judge me like I'm not a girl with hormones.🙄

It came to mind to visit Cee that period. She wasn't a perfect girl, she even slept with a few married men to keep up with her bills (life hard sha), but she was real. To my utmost surprise, she gave me the warning of my life and told me outrightly that she will unfriend me if I do it. Cee reminded me of my values and the fact that it wasn't worth it. She talked sense into my head that night in such a way that when I left her house the next morning, my hormones received enough sense for another few months.

Do you have a friend like Cee who will tell you as it is even when she has an opportunity to get you into the game she's into?
Are you a friend like Cee who has made wrong choices or perhaps, circumstances have made you make wrong choices, but you're willing to tell the truth to the other person who wants to get into what you know is wrong?
Would you want people to feel the pain you feel/felt from the wrong choices you made or would you prefer to tell them as it is and dissuade them from making some/same mistakes you made?
🤔
Search yourself today. Be a friend like/better than Cee, and this world would be a more habitable place.

By the way, Christmas is loading.💃🏽💃🏽 This is an intentional message.😊

My Thoughts
Ala O. Wilcox 

#skweskwe #cee #goodfriend #relationships #choices #decisions 

I Really Don't Like To Say 'I'M SORRY'

I really don't like to say I'm sorry.😏
Please wait! Before you judge me, read to the end.

I'm sorry is just three words coined into two words. Is it really a big deal to say it when I'm wrong? No, not at all. But must I say it? No too. It's my choice to or not to. Must I justify why I shouldn't say it? Not really, but I will, to you.

'I'm sorry' you will agree can be one of the shortest but most difficult words for some people to say, especially when they are wrong. Why wouldn't they honestly say sorry when they are at fault? I believe ego and pride, but you might have another or other opinions.
However, there are some people that find it very easy to say it, but they never mean it. In my opinion, I think most times that this set of people are crafty and deceitful. That might not be the case too.

I started with "I don't like to say I'm sorry" and I'm sure your question is why?
It's simply because I always think that I can do the right thing and receive a thank you, a smile or a warm gaze or hug rather than weaken my chances of building trust. It doesn't mean I should or can be perfect o. It means I should discipline myself enough to always do what is right and keep to my words which inturn makes me a person of integrity.

Many times, we use the availability of the word 'I'm sorry' as a yardstick to not be accountable. Sometimes we are even genuine about it, but in our subconscious, we have created an excuse of 'I'm sorry'.

I want to keep this as short as possible and I can't explain everything, but I believe that if you read, reread and brood on this, you will have a deeper understanding of why I really don't like to say 'I'm sorry'.

My Thoughts.

ALA O. WILCOX

#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #Imsorry #unlike #understand #why #dontjudge

I Hope It's Not Too Soon?🤭🙄

😂😂Let me give you gist of what this meme reminds me of.

So there was this guy that liked me and I was beginning to like back.😊 He was very real that I was attracted to his realness. I don't like people that form like they are perfect.

Rewind to a relationship I was in where the guy was always packaging to be what he was not, and was upset and felt disrespected when I said things like 'Hey love'. 😥Hey is supposed to be an informal way of saying 'hi'. Farting before him was gross and talking to him from the toilet was a no no. My dear, me sef I tired* for the matter.🤦‍♀️

Fast forward to the second official day of hangout with this uncle I was beginning to like, I farted.😰🤦‍♀️
See ehn, when my entire system is comfortable with you ehn, the system will just want to embarrass me for nothing.😓
It was telling him 'I like you bro', and the guy started laughing and said 'you cannot even form for me small sef'. I told him the world is too serious for me to be forming. The laughter we shared after that supposed embarrassing moment made me know we could be very good friends.

PS: My fart does not smell, it just wants to test you by embarrassing me.😂🤣
For those thinking that this is a love story, calm down. Na only likeness and friendship.😉🙄

Anyways, I hope I didn't fart too soon?😥 And please don't judge me.🤭

Ala O. Wilcox 

Photo credit @twitter
#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #fart #relationships #relationshipgoals 

CANOEING

As we started sailing in the canoe, the sailor said "the water is 2.9m deep, there are crocodiles, tiger fish,..." that's when I stopped hearing o.
Any pim, and we fall into this water, I will be in a water that is as deep as the floor to ceiling of a house after its tiled and roofed. I also stand the danger of being eaten by a croco.... and/tiger ....🙆‍♀️ I sat as still as I could.😂

But then again, I came on this sail not to be scared but to do something different and do it differently. Guess what? I told the sailor to take me on a second trip, took a selfie and sat smiling and smelling nature.😊😊🥰

As you step into this week, things might look like they are pressing on you, it might seem like your year would not end well, it might also look like if you embark on this sail, you will fall into crocodiles and you stand a chance to be drowned or eaten, you might be unsure about the end. But, never forget that with the right thoughts, attitude and with God, everything will be fine. You will come out fine and unscathed from the midst of the storm.
Trust God.😊🙏
Smile.😊

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #copyright #boat #canoe #ride #smile #inspire 

PAPCREAM GOODNESS ...you can never guess.😜

As a young teenager, I loved packaging. Food was never my thing, no wonder my dad didn't miss sending Complant and my mum made sure I didn't miss taking it for 2 years. This was sha a digress to let you know I was once slim.😋 Let me jejely digress back.

So as someone who didn't like to eat and really loved good packaging, I had gotten small amount of likeness for pap/ogi/ (you can add you dialects rendition), and I loved it thick with lots of milk in it, preferably powdered and liquid milk.😉
My packaging intuition now made me use one of those icecream cups that takes a good amount of icecream to pour my pap in, and the creative part made me put it in the fridge for a few minutes (I really don't like very hot food), then I served myself with liquid peak milk using an icecream spoon to enjoy the sweetheart goodness.🤭
As I went out on the balcony on the first floor of my grand dad's house, I took some coconut biscuit alongside and sat on the long stool. I enjoyed my newly packaged papcream goodness like it was the best thing that was happening to me and I attracted interested neighbours who wanted to enjoy what I was enjoying.

Eventually, one of my friends had to climb the high stone seat slab that was made for seating on the ground floor and was trying to stretch his hands to reach the first floor to collect my papcream goodness thinking it was icecream. He was actually begging me for it, and I told him the original content, but he assumed I was lying and didn't want to share, so I had to go downstairs and let him take a spoon for him to believe me. 😂😄🤭
He was a little bit disappointed at me deceiving him but I had told him the truth and he refused to believe till he confirmed it for himself and that was not my gbese. Laslas, he loved my papcream goodness, so we had it together.😄 To me, this was a win win situation.

Why did I bring this my papcream goodness story?
There are negative and positive sides to it.
I realized that in my generation, so many people are so mesmerized with packaging that they have taken the wrong route by pretending to be what they are not, therefore losing their true identities and picking up an identity they have no background clue about.

But still, I see through this that my generation can package for the love of wanting to stand out and not lose their identity.
Whether we like it or not, we really do not want to share the worst of us out there, but in the midst of not sharing the worst, we can still be true to who we are.

Imagine my papcream goodness was not worth the stress of my friend trying to stretch himself to reach the first floor's balcony from the ground floor, and I lied that it was actual icecream? He would have termed me a fraud and he certainly would not believe anything I say after that day.

We should understand that whatever we do, whether packaging, preferring false image to others, living fake lives, being a person of integrity and living a life of humility, it has a ripple effect on others and on us. It gives people a perception of who we are and that perception either helps us grow or fail.
What ripple effect do you want served?
Think about it and make your choice today.

There are so many other lessons but I'll leave you to read, think through and share. As for me, I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #blogger #papcreamgoodness #milk #sweetness #ripple #goodness #lessons #share #choices

Uncle Deacon & Judge People

"I'm a deacon in church" he said to Kehinde. She was surprised at the effontery he was using to say it. How can this man be so proud of being a deacon when he is actually doing the wrong thing? The matter just tire the girl at that moment.
As much as she was surprised, she still respected him and only shared the conversation that transpired between them to her friend Bode. Bode was furious and wanted to go confront the deacon, but she pleaded and persuaded him not to. "People are growing differently in the body of faith", she said to him.

Kehinde, a sanguine. She laughed so hard at everything that seemed funny, including her blunders. As a free-spirited and loveable person, she loved everyone, tried to judge no one and lived her life like there was no evil existing in the world. Her mother always warned her about being too free spirited and over trusting people, but everything fell on deaf ears.

As a girl who was free-spirited, she didn't have anything to hide. Her thoughts were, rather than pretend and show people what you want them to see, do everything in plain sight and allow God and you be the judge of you. She wasn't a pretentious or hypocritical person, and she had nothing to hide.
As good as she was, church people aka judge people termed her as bad.
She grew up wearing short skirts and was comfortable in them. She was a semi tomboy so she hung out with guys more. She had friends who were in and outside of church and she blended well with all of them but set boundaries so her friends respected her for who she was.

Guess what? They judged her because of short skirt suits and her affiliations with more guys than girls. They termed her the girl who influenced her age mates for doing wrong. Meanwhile in the course of her mingling with other church people her age, she realized that many of them were pretentious and act what they are not and
don't mean. "Anyways, it's not my business. Everyone should carry their cross.", she always told herself when she thought about it.

As a young adolescent growing into adulthood, she expected her teachers to see her for who she really is, not judge her, and love her as she is, the way she doesn't judge others. But, it was a different scenario. They saw her as the rotten egg. They tried to spoil her name and reputation for being plain.

Meanwhile, a youth Pastor told her one day he came to visit her in school "come let's go and have sex in a hotel". As mad as she was, she still put him straight with respect. But judge people were calling the guy and warning him to stay away from her cause she is temptation.
Kehinde got every information straight from Pastor Chukwudi's mouth because after her straightening him, his respect for her grew and they became genuine friends.

****
There are many girls and boys like Kehinde and there are many christians like judge people. My word to the Kehinde's is, don't let the rot and ingenuity of some judge people unchurch you. Stay true to you and to God. We don't do what we do to please men but to please God. Continue to grow strong in your relationship with Him and see yourself grow beyond levels you ever thought you would.

As for some judge people who are the holiest and only sanctified people without faults, understand that your actions can either keep people in faith or take them out of faith. Not every believer is like Kehinde that will stick through the preying eyes and tongues of people who should show her love. I've seen many young and older people leave serving and sometimes leave the church because of how we handle them and judge them.

I pray God helps us all to understand that God is love and we should all love, correct in love, talk in love and chastise in love. At the end of the day, love, I believe is the only way we can change the world around us.

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #uncledeacon #judgepeople #churchpeople #churched #dechurched #unchurch 

TEARFUL😢 THOUGHTS

Have you ever asked yourself why do bad things always happen to the good me?

I used to be very naïve with trusting people while I was growing up. I felt that because my mind could not phantom being envious of someone, or jealous of ones gifting or gifts (in every form), or because I didn't understand how and why I should take what is not mine without permission, everyone else was like that.

I'm not saying I'm perfect o. There were days I wished I could have what somebody had and there were days I felt that person didnt deserve what the person had or has, but I always snapped myself out of it and came back to reality that it was not mine and there was a reason God allowed whoever had what to have it.
So in my naïve mind, everyone could control their feelings the way I did.

My most naïve innocent thoughts were for church people.🤦‍♀️💆‍♀️ I always felt that the words they heard, somehow made changes to them and they should just know some things.
I was the girl in church that people could be doing underground things but I would never suspect. Why? Because I trusted that they knew what, was right and should live by what they knew.
I was always the one who would know what would have happened when 'water don pass garri'. It made no difference to my thoughts, though.

I grew up seeing people hurt my mum but my mum didn't train me to be nasty to them and I didn't allow that blur my love for the people that hurt her. Instill went on errands for them and greeted them genuinely. When I got of age to say my mind, I confronted them, got the beating of my life and will still be ok with them.

Mum warned me about my over trusting, but I wasn't listening, until people started revealing their identities. I was the sanguine teenager. Always laughing, very friendly, overtly open to everyone but the people I trusted most would 'finish me' like mortal combat will say.
People lied about me, carried wrong rumours of me, stole from me, envied me and still hugged and smiled at me, etc.

When the scale started falling from my eyes, I became too careful not to fall into the trap so much that it was difficult to make friends. When I did, I wasn't willing to be extremely close to the point of becoming besties.

I thought that was the solution but then again, humans remain humans and you literally can't make people become who you think they should be, but your actions and inactions can influence them to want to be a better version of themselves.
I've been severely hurt emotionally, psychologically, physically, mentally, spiritually, especially by Christian's, but I found out that God has taken me through the path of forgiveness and accommodating the people who hurt me to the point that I feel like it's hurting me.

There are many days and nights I cry and tell God, "please can I just react to this one? It hurts too badly and I am human too." But deep down I only get the nudge to use peace. And as time goes on, I realize that God has used that to help me see the good in people, no matter how bad they seem to be.
Please don't get it twisted, I don't tolerate everything, but somewhere in my heart, there's always a place of 'there could be a better version of this person.' Anyone who knows me well would know that I can be a very critical person but it doesn't stop me from seeing the best and wishing for the best in people.

I've learnt to be open to the possibilities of having a better world with better people, but I'm still learning cause some pain can be nerve cracking and smile stealing. I know God is using every situation to mould me into 'the me' He has already crafted/planned for the future.

Don't miss the lessons in your good, bad, ugly moments. Trust your process. And your reaction could be the driving force to the transformation that should occur.

My tearful thoughts.
ALA O. WILCOX

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #thoughts #reality #hope #people #lessons

ME, YOU, WE.

I was just thinking about this lines in the national anthem and pledge "To serve our fatherland with love and strength and faith...To be faithful, loyal and honest...and uphold her honor and glory, so help me God."

Our dear beautiful country Nigeria belongs to none other than us, be it that you have dual citizenship or not, Nigeria is ours and ours alone.

I watch when people talk less of our leaders, talk less of the nation, etc, they forget that as they do that, they talk less of themselves indirectly. 

We always say children are the future of tomorrow but we feed this so-called children with information that will make them be less than the future. 

We talk about corruption like we are perfect. I always ask people that have a lot to say about governance "if you were the one what would you have done differently?"

The answers are almost always the same, the same things we were told during campaigns. 

What makes you feel you will do better and not less? Like they always say you wouldn't know where it hurts till you wear the shoes (we can visibly see that now). I am not a political person neither am I talking politics, am talking governance. 

I think governance is not just handled by our leaders, we are part of it in every sphere we find ourselves in. Have you taken bribe or paid bribe? Have you short changed your client? Have you lied about a situation to save your corporate image? Have you written the wrong time you came to work on that register? Have you tried to take advantage of someone you are superior to? If your answers are YES, you need to work on answering NO to all this questions at all times your asked it. 

You're not even governing right in the small capacity you have been fixed in and you sit from morning till night complaining. 

Serve your country by being a good example to the younger generation. 

🚨🚨

The only thing we can do to change the corrupt system is not by complaining but by being the agents of change ourselves in our families, churches, schools, offices, etc.

If you say wrong of your country, people from other countries will call our country fantastically corrupt but if you're positive about your country, they will respect your country. 

Don't think other countries are void of corruption, it's everywhere, we just portray ours in the open and get what we deserve for not respecting the "labors of our heroes past". 

Enough has been said. 

🚨🚨🚨

My point is that we should not complain, we should be the agents of positive change in Nigeria. Be positive about Nigeria, pray for Nigeria. 

God bless Nigeria. 

I rest my case.

My Thoughts

Ala O. Wilcox

#59 #independence #happyindependence #NigeriaAt59 #October1st #alawilcoxblog #mythoughts #Nigeria #me #you #we #meyouwe

StReTcH mArKs 🙄

I was not the woman you see today yesterday. One of the things I remembered my mum prayed for was that I have boobs. Lol! Very funny. But at some point in her life, people she loved and had high regard for disregarded her because of her petite body so she didn't want same for me.

Well! God answered the prayers and gave me the boobs of life and I love it. 🥰 The only thing was, He added stretch marks to it and that one would just spoil market, so I thought at first.😂I started seeing it as very sexy and my cleavage opening session started😉. 'Why would I wear a dress and my cleavage will not show?' It was an error. My mum even got tired of me. 🤦‍♀️

Okay! It's not like it was very bad o, it's just that I felt like I should be a little sassy so that people don't take me for antoo good girl then use that as a medium to make me look like a jew girl.🤷‍♀️ It's not like if man approached me I will even answer him sef. Pride plus my personal ethics will not allow me jonse and reach that area.🤧

Towards my 2nd year in school, I had issues with getting some textbooks and money for personal upkeep. This upkeep was basically food. I loved cooking, exploring on new meals and sharing food as well, so my food was not for me alone. I had mentioned to one of my aunts the toughness in school and my stand on not doing boyfriend again as the one I had told me he wanted to concentrate on God😂. Mtshwwww! Insult of the century. I am a distraction now na. 
She told me some stories I would share another day and later told me a friend of hers liked me. For respect sake, I decided to honour her request of meeting the man. 

I explained how I loved to show cleavage earlier but it was funny that on this particular day, I had the budge to wear a below knee shorts and a big t-shirt. I had earlier said 'I'm Not Normal' on my earlier posts, and this was one of my abnormalities. Rather than I dress to impress for going on a first date, I could just be on the extreme casual part💆‍♂️.

Oga told me he had a meeting in the restaurant of a hotel and I called my aunt to tell her that I wasn't comfortable, yet she told me to go ahead that it wasn't a problem.On getting to the hotel in my naïve looking packaged self, it was no longer restaurant o, it was now room 210. As much as I had a little fright in me, I summoned up courage and went in and to my utmost surprise, oga was way older with jalabia🥺 attire sef.
I kept my calm and acted as naïve as I dressed. So he started asking me plenty questions and told me how he could take care of me and all. He was even married.🤦‍♀️The thing that struck me was him taking my hands and looking in my palm, telling me 'you have a great star'. Obara Jesus!! I started praying seriously in my mind and left there naïvely the best way I could in one piece.


Guess what my aunt asked me when I got out. "How much did he give you?" Then she added, "Onyeka, I want to advice you, since you don't like to sleep with men, give them blow jobs and you will get anything you need. That one is better". My disappointment was huge but I wasn't disrespectful, insulting or rude. I just said thank you and knew that next time I shouldn't talk to her about anything that has to do with man or money.

What's the essence of this stories all curled in one?

The decisions you make are your choices. The choices you make are not just as a result of the influence around you but the state of your heart. As much as I loved opening my cleavage then, did not mean I was loose and I wanted men to come to me for what I had. No, it was rather of me showing my femininity. 

Our generation today has so caught up with what they see and hear that they've lost touch with what they want for themselves. We've allowed the social world dictate who we are and what we do. But I refuse to accept that it's just the influence of the social world. I think its YOU. Rather than play the blame game, take out time and work on your heart being right. Remember the values your parents and grandparents instilled in you. Don't let it drown.

You have good in you and only you can decide and choose to bring it out. You are better than this.

MY THOUGHTS.

ALA O. WILCOX



Photo Credit: Google

#stretchmarks #blog #choices #you #generation #lifestories #mylifeisastory #real

I'M NOT NORMAL

I realized that I am not normal.
I am so abnormal that I see the normal as abnormal. Although, I find it very funny that what is actually seen as abnormal in my generation is the norm based on ethical and moral standards but what can I say?

Deceit is now the normal. We will use the cover term "it's not the full truth". Dating people's husbands is nothing new. No wonder ladies now have the slogan "men would always cheat". My husband should just cater for his family, that's all." Ah! Sex in a relationship is normal. This one ehn, e de pain me for blood marrow when the guy go de talk like say nain right. 🤨

Let's just say that all this things are morally right, then why do we need to cover up. I know the world has gone so bizarre that they throw caution to the wind, but the church kwa?! (Mouth sealed)

You see in this life ehn, my small 28 years have got me to understand that it's only me that waka and come. I am in this world but not of this world. My head is not correct laikdat. I think It's not a norm that I don't see the norm as a norm, and that's because I'm not normal and I'm seperated. Ive found out that when I live the life other people live, I fail and cry.

So this is me saying, enough of trying to fit in. I'm different and I'm proud of my difference. You can call me old school, jew girl, kolo babe, overdo and I will just smile at you. My life is in the word of God and I'm proud of it. I'm not normal.

It's Me Again, I was 29 over a week ago and it's my year of UNRAVELING EXPLOITS. I hope you are ready for me?☺️

ALA O. WILCOX


#AlaWilcoxBlog #abnormal #imnotnormal #unraveling #exploits #29 #different 

SILENCE

Shhhhh!
Silence is golden.
Silence is deadly.
Silence is liberating.
Silence is gain.
Silence is pain.
Silence is ignorance.
Silence is acceptance.
Silence is living.
Silence is killing.

Quietude! Tranquility! Stillness!
Synoynmys they are,
Deep expressions they can have.

A fool speaks?
Silence is golden.
Angry?
Silence is deadly.
Exhausted?
Silence is liberating.
Be strategic?
Silence is gain.
Suffering?
Silence is pain.
Don't know a thing and won't seek answers?
Silence is ignorance.
With a cherished one?
Silence is acceptance.
Sleeping?
Silence is living.
Living silently without purpose?
Silence is killing.

Silence!
One word, multiple meanings, diverse effects.
Choose the right effect.

My Thoughts.
Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #silence #expressions #effects #choice #decisions #golden #thoughts #blog

DECISION!?

I think this has been one of the best decisions I've ever taken in life. Why do I say so you may ask?

I say so because it has made me the happiest and most contended human existing. Not in the prideful way but in the grateful kinda way.

I'll save you the trouble of trying to figure it out.

****

It began a few years ago when I got back from NYSC. I had issues with one of my accounts, so I went to sort it out with the bank. 

At the verge of waiting for the completion of my transaction, a man walks in and was really upset on his having issues with his cheque. He eventually took note of me and approached me.

As a new business girl, I needed every contact I could get because I didn't know who will be the client that would give me the opportunity to show my skills.

****

Let's call him Soso(not the real name). He had most of his business meetings in a hotel and that automatically became our meeting point.

I loved that he gave me a very reasonable amount for transport. So, seeing him was more like sorting some bill's out, and since I was new in the real business world, and I was still job hunting, it helped solve the part of taking care of my mum and sis as this was paramount to my well-being. 

***

A little forward to the eve of my birthday, I received a pleasant call from Soso saying that my birthday gift was ready for collection. I was new in my church then and had joined the youth choir. I dropped my bag off at church and hurriedly went to receive this gift that warranted a call.

On getting there, it wasn't business as usual. We didn't meet in the restaurant as we usually did. I was asked to go to the room. Anyways, I was too excited to feel too funny, after all, its few hours to my being plus one😊😁 .

His PA who is a woman was present and it looked like they were just wrapping up the business activities for the day. With excitement and peace of mind that we were two women, I sat on the sofa in the room.

After a few minutes, my fellow sisi had to leave, thereby leaving Soso and I alone in the room.

You could see me grinning from ear to ear when Soso brought out N300,000 cash and dropped on the table that it was my gift cause he knew I needed it after I received a 7 days quit notice from my landlord 3 days before that time, who said he wanted to use his house for something.

"God has finally answered my prayers," I said to myself. And just when I was saying, thank you to pick the money up, he said "but you'll have sex with me." Everything within me was dazzled in shock at that moment. It was a sharp "no" that got out of my mouth.

"I'll make it N400,000" he said. I don't know how, but I sha said no again. I added that it was against my value system. Soso then said, "N500,000, just make me cum." 🙅‍♀️🙆‍♀️😰 At this moment, somewhere in my head, I had calculated rent, plus registration of my company, plus the extra and in that same split second, I remembered my values, my love for God, my frowning against not working hard for what you wanted, my frowning against the exchange of sex for money and the fact that him cumming wouldn't need him penetrating. The thoughts were fast, but I still summoned up courage to say no. At this point of my saying no, I realized I was more daunting and fearless about my decision. "N700,000, please just make me cum." At this point he brought out the N700,000 cash on the bed, and he was running after me in the room, I could only shout "no, I can't and I won't." As I ran round trying to escape his grasp, I cried and prayed out loud as much as I could. In that motion, I remembered how one of my uncles who had enough extra rooms to take us in said we couldn't stay with him. We even begged to keep our belongings there till we find our feet but he said no. I kept running, crying and telling God to help me out of this temptation plus mess, because if this man raped me, I don't even know how I'll explain that it's birthday gift that took me there. 😭🤦‍♀️

After lots of struggling, I got out in one piece but with a broken heart 💔 and an uncertain new year. It wasn't my fault 🤷‍♀️. I had 3 days to park to where I didn't know and I had no money. The birthday wishes for that year didn't mean anything as I was saddled with the question; what next?

The 7th day was here, and my mum had talked to her cousin in Igwurita who was happy to help. That was how I moved from township to village o.🤕 It wasn't easy transporting three of us to town almost everyday but God saw us through. I was even the happy girl with a very heavy heart without people knowing.

Thank God for the people around me and the undiluted word of God I heard to keep me strong in that season.

Jobs were not coming forth for over 6 months, but It took a job in the eight month and two friends to give us the rent we needed for a very conducive place in the heart of the town.

It was a very tough decision then, but it made me happier with myself after the trying period. 

I am happy that in this time and era I could stand for something morally right even in my imperfection. I'm glad to know that my value in the eyes of that man can never diminish, and I'm glad that if he sees me anywhere, he can vouch me for good.

I'm glad that I could practice what I preach, even if it was one of the toughest things I did.

I'm glad that I am wealthier than cash 😊(very controversial statement, but na so I de feel 😁).

I'm glad I can tell a girl out there that your problems won't and can't kill you, There would always be a way and you can make the right decisions no matter how hard it might seem.

I just feel fulfilled that I made the right decision on that 24th day of August. You can too. 🤗

As for the picture of a wedding dress, I tried out one when I joined my friend out for her wedding gown search 😉. Don't worry, your wedding prayers for me will soon be answered in Jesus name. Amen 🙏

PS: This story is not to judge you or make you think I'm too holy(I no even near sef 🙄). It's basically for letting you know that your right decision today can make a huge difference to your tomorrow. It can help you write off some bad decisions of the past and give you boldness to make better decisions in the future.

I hope my story inspires you to make the right decision today, tomorrow and in the future.

My Story.

Ala O. Wilcox.

#AlaWilcox #mylife #truestory #decisions #hardbutfruitful #stronger 

LAST BUS STOP! I THINK.😏

Its difficult, but its life you know!😏 Especially that moment you think 'this is my final bus stop🙄. No cause to look elsewhere, only the one before and ways to make everything grow to a better form.'🤧

I'm sorry, but it's not all the time your plans come to actualization, but as I said earlier, that's life for you.🤓

When the year starts we have lots of plans and probably a vision board, and at some point life gets at us in such a way we don't go back to them except ofcourse we discipline ourselves to see what we wrote down through.

***
On this certain day, going through my prayer points, write ups and affirmations, I realized after God and family, the next person I prayed for was him. My prayer investment was basically to see him be a better version of himself. But I wondered why it seemed like I didn't even do it, because of course, it's no more existing. As I turned those pages and I saw how much I wasn't selfish with my prayer points, tears rolled down my eyes😪. 'Ala, get yourself together'🤦‍♀️ I told myself. 'You wished, you planned, you felt, you loved but there's always a new chapter.' 🤷‍♀️

See ehn, e pain for bone marrow🥺 but our plans are not always God plans.🙏

I learnt through this time that sometimes, something's happen for you to get a better understanding 🧠of who you truly are. Many of us think we do know who we are but if we look deeply, we find out we know who people think we are or who we perceive ourselves to be due to the people we see and look up to. It's a hard truth but it's TRUE.💪🦴

I also learnt that God can use some disappointing situations to make me and the other person involved better versions of ourselves.🙂

The whole point of this is, don't settle for less🙅‍♀️, know who you are💆‍♀️, see how you can bring out the best from that disappointment🧘‍♀️✍.
Gods got you through every phase in your life👌.

My Thoughts
Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #recovery #pain #tbt #memories #life #God

Emergency Soup

I was wondering why I still had soup in my plate when my eba finished. I guess it was because I wanted to finish the remaining garri in the bowl, but I remembered I'm trying to fight big tummy.🤦‍♀️ I just jejely licked the remaining soup.

This soup was sweeter than I imagined, and to think that I was making shakara to eat it since I got back home this afternoon.

By the way, this soup is my mum's emergency soup. Yesterday when I got back home, she said, "Onyeka I made Egusi soup with plenty of stock fish. Dried fish is finished and there is no leaf inside it." Me, the girl that loves plenty orishirishi inside my soup said she should not worry.

Today as I got back, I had plans for convocation rice and was keeping my humble belly for it, only for rain to step in and laziness followed afterward. I kukuma memove* wakar (outing) cloth and wear house cloth to swallow eba because, house jollof rice is not party jollof and if it's not party jollof today, we do swallow✌😁😉.

As I baked the eba and courteously left a little in the bowl, my mind was still wanting me to swallow more. That's the only reason me of all people will remain sweet soup.

Usually, we only see very organised and good looking food on the internet, even those of us that are not into catering. So just before I finished my mother's sweet emergency egusi soup that is sweeter than most of those well packaged soup on the internet, I decided to take a picture of my semi empty plate that is unmatched and not in a tray. I decided to take it to let you know that its okay to be yourself. It's okay to display the imperfect because you are not perfect.

Our mothers made and still make special and sumptuous delicacies with what they have in the house without breaking a bank and we grew up enjoying it, but just because we saw someone in a Chinese restaurant taking a pic of food they might not have even paid for with their money, we feel ashamed to show that we blow* eba with soup that has no meat in it😂.

My dear social media people, be yourself o! Don't let all this perfections you see online choke you to your end.

Enuf said! Let me go and stretch my leg and sleep well so that the food will enter everywhere in my body (according to my little cousin).🤣🤣🤣🤣

I sha used roasted fish to eat laslas😋.

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #emergency #soup #egusi #real #blogger #interiordesigner #interiordecorator #life