Uncle Deacon & Judge People

"I'm a deacon in church" he said to Kehinde. She was surprised at the effontery he was using to say it. How can this man be so proud of being a deacon when he is actually doing the wrong thing? The matter just tire the girl at that moment.
As much as she was surprised, she still respected him and only shared the conversation that transpired between them to her friend Bode. Bode was furious and wanted to go confront the deacon, but she pleaded and persuaded him not to. "People are growing differently in the body of faith", she said to him.

Kehinde, a sanguine. She laughed so hard at everything that seemed funny, including her blunders. As a free-spirited and loveable person, she loved everyone, tried to judge no one and lived her life like there was no evil existing in the world. Her mother always warned her about being too free spirited and over trusting people, but everything fell on deaf ears.

As a girl who was free-spirited, she didn't have anything to hide. Her thoughts were, rather than pretend and show people what you want them to see, do everything in plain sight and allow God and you be the judge of you. She wasn't a pretentious or hypocritical person, and she had nothing to hide.
As good as she was, church people aka judge people termed her as bad.
She grew up wearing short skirts and was comfortable in them. She was a semi tomboy so she hung out with guys more. She had friends who were in and outside of church and she blended well with all of them but set boundaries so her friends respected her for who she was.

Guess what? They judged her because of short skirt suits and her affiliations with more guys than girls. They termed her the girl who influenced her age mates for doing wrong. Meanwhile in the course of her mingling with other church people her age, she realized that many of them were pretentious and act what they are not and
don't mean. "Anyways, it's not my business. Everyone should carry their cross.", she always told herself when she thought about it.

As a young adolescent growing into adulthood, she expected her teachers to see her for who she really is, not judge her, and love her as she is, the way she doesn't judge others. But, it was a different scenario. They saw her as the rotten egg. They tried to spoil her name and reputation for being plain.

Meanwhile, a youth Pastor told her one day he came to visit her in school "come let's go and have sex in a hotel". As mad as she was, she still put him straight with respect. But judge people were calling the guy and warning him to stay away from her cause she is temptation.
Kehinde got every information straight from Pastor Chukwudi's mouth because after her straightening him, his respect for her grew and they became genuine friends.

****
There are many girls and boys like Kehinde and there are many christians like judge people. My word to the Kehinde's is, don't let the rot and ingenuity of some judge people unchurch you. Stay true to you and to God. We don't do what we do to please men but to please God. Continue to grow strong in your relationship with Him and see yourself grow beyond levels you ever thought you would.

As for some judge people who are the holiest and only sanctified people without faults, understand that your actions can either keep people in faith or take them out of faith. Not every believer is like Kehinde that will stick through the preying eyes and tongues of people who should show her love. I've seen many young and older people leave serving and sometimes leave the church because of how we handle them and judge them.

I pray God helps us all to understand that God is love and we should all love, correct in love, talk in love and chastise in love. At the end of the day, love, I believe is the only way we can change the world around us.

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #uncledeacon #judgepeople #churchpeople #churched #dechurched #unchurch 

TEARFUL😢 THOUGHTS

Have you ever asked yourself why do bad things always happen to the good me?

I used to be very naïve with trusting people while I was growing up. I felt that because my mind could not phantom being envious of someone, or jealous of ones gifting or gifts (in every form), or because I didn't understand how and why I should take what is not mine without permission, everyone else was like that.

I'm not saying I'm perfect o. There were days I wished I could have what somebody had and there were days I felt that person didnt deserve what the person had or has, but I always snapped myself out of it and came back to reality that it was not mine and there was a reason God allowed whoever had what to have it.
So in my naïve mind, everyone could control their feelings the way I did.

My most naïve innocent thoughts were for church people.🤦‍♀️💆‍♀️ I always felt that the words they heard, somehow made changes to them and they should just know some things.
I was the girl in church that people could be doing underground things but I would never suspect. Why? Because I trusted that they knew what, was right and should live by what they knew.
I was always the one who would know what would have happened when 'water don pass garri'. It made no difference to my thoughts, though.

I grew up seeing people hurt my mum but my mum didn't train me to be nasty to them and I didn't allow that blur my love for the people that hurt her. Instill went on errands for them and greeted them genuinely. When I got of age to say my mind, I confronted them, got the beating of my life and will still be ok with them.

Mum warned me about my over trusting, but I wasn't listening, until people started revealing their identities. I was the sanguine teenager. Always laughing, very friendly, overtly open to everyone but the people I trusted most would 'finish me' like mortal combat will say.
People lied about me, carried wrong rumours of me, stole from me, envied me and still hugged and smiled at me, etc.

When the scale started falling from my eyes, I became too careful not to fall into the trap so much that it was difficult to make friends. When I did, I wasn't willing to be extremely close to the point of becoming besties.

I thought that was the solution but then again, humans remain humans and you literally can't make people become who you think they should be, but your actions and inactions can influence them to want to be a better version of themselves.
I've been severely hurt emotionally, psychologically, physically, mentally, spiritually, especially by Christian's, but I found out that God has taken me through the path of forgiveness and accommodating the people who hurt me to the point that I feel like it's hurting me.

There are many days and nights I cry and tell God, "please can I just react to this one? It hurts too badly and I am human too." But deep down I only get the nudge to use peace. And as time goes on, I realize that God has used that to help me see the good in people, no matter how bad they seem to be.
Please don't get it twisted, I don't tolerate everything, but somewhere in my heart, there's always a place of 'there could be a better version of this person.' Anyone who knows me well would know that I can be a very critical person but it doesn't stop me from seeing the best and wishing for the best in people.

I've learnt to be open to the possibilities of having a better world with better people, but I'm still learning cause some pain can be nerve cracking and smile stealing. I know God is using every situation to mould me into 'the me' He has already crafted/planned for the future.

Don't miss the lessons in your good, bad, ugly moments. Trust your process. And your reaction could be the driving force to the transformation that should occur.

My tearful thoughts.
ALA O. WILCOX

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #thoughts #reality #hope #people #lessons

ME, YOU, WE.

I was just thinking about this lines in the national anthem and pledge "To serve our fatherland with love and strength and faith...To be faithful, loyal and honest...and uphold her honor and glory, so help me God."

Our dear beautiful country Nigeria belongs to none other than us, be it that you have dual citizenship or not, Nigeria is ours and ours alone.

I watch when people talk less of our leaders, talk less of the nation, etc, they forget that as they do that, they talk less of themselves indirectly. 

We always say children are the future of tomorrow but we feed this so-called children with information that will make them be less than the future. 

We talk about corruption like we are perfect. I always ask people that have a lot to say about governance "if you were the one what would you have done differently?"

The answers are almost always the same, the same things we were told during campaigns. 

What makes you feel you will do better and not less? Like they always say you wouldn't know where it hurts till you wear the shoes (we can visibly see that now). I am not a political person neither am I talking politics, am talking governance. 

I think governance is not just handled by our leaders, we are part of it in every sphere we find ourselves in. Have you taken bribe or paid bribe? Have you short changed your client? Have you lied about a situation to save your corporate image? Have you written the wrong time you came to work on that register? Have you tried to take advantage of someone you are superior to? If your answers are YES, you need to work on answering NO to all this questions at all times your asked it. 

You're not even governing right in the small capacity you have been fixed in and you sit from morning till night complaining. 

Serve your country by being a good example to the younger generation. 

🚨🚨

The only thing we can do to change the corrupt system is not by complaining but by being the agents of change ourselves in our families, churches, schools, offices, etc.

If you say wrong of your country, people from other countries will call our country fantastically corrupt but if you're positive about your country, they will respect your country. 

Don't think other countries are void of corruption, it's everywhere, we just portray ours in the open and get what we deserve for not respecting the "labors of our heroes past". 

Enough has been said. 

🚨🚨🚨

My point is that we should not complain, we should be the agents of positive change in Nigeria. Be positive about Nigeria, pray for Nigeria. 

God bless Nigeria. 

I rest my case.

My Thoughts

Ala O. Wilcox

#59 #independence #happyindependence #NigeriaAt59 #October1st #alawilcoxblog #mythoughts #Nigeria #me #you #we #meyouwe