THE STORY OF JUNE 23RD

On this day, I was to receive my most precious gift from my union with my husband, but it was cut short.

I was so excited that it was my antenatal day and I couldn't wait to hear my baby make noise through their machine.

It was weird to have spent over 20 minutes with the doctor, yet no heartbeat. I was just praying inside me that the worst should not be the case. After going for a scan and coming back to the doctor, what I heard next was "Ala, are you alone? Who came with you? Please take off your nosemask and take a deep breath." In my mind, I was like, Aunty say what you want to say na. It was so hard to hear those words, "your baby is no longer breathing. We couldn't get a heartbeat."😔

Chills ran through my veins, spirit and body.😢 "Please go to another hospital for confirmation then come back for an evacuation."

I called my husband to give him the worst news. This was someone who just went back to work three days before. We even went shopping for the baby on his last visit. I had to encourage him to be strong because he was at work.

As I was heading to my mum's from the hospital to get someone, accompany me to the hospital; I played the song that came to me that morning as I woke up "Victory by Elevation Church." I had unnecessary setbacks with Bolt that was really annoying. I just put that song on repeat till I got to my mums'.

How could I have had a smooth ride till over 6 months then boom, baby is gone?❓❓ I was wondering what didn't I do, what did I do, how did this go wrong. I even asked why He would allow such happen when I laid my hands and prayed for my baby daily.

As I approached my mum's house, she told us to pray before we go to another hospital, and in the bid of praying, together with my sister, I lamented uncontrollably in tears. "Why?" My mum started hushing me, and of course I pounced on her in anger. "How can I stop?" 😡That was what I asked her. After our prayers for a miracle, we went to another hospital, and the sonographer saw the one that made us believe I might need a surgery.

How can? At that point, I got so vexed in my spirit. I said I would not undergo a surgery and not carry my baby. Never!

In my head, I thought there was a drug that would be given to me to just flush out the baby, but it was surprising to me that I had to be induced. I'm a novice at these things. It was some tough two days for me.

Finally, our baby was born still. Our baby was super cute. Had all the hair I was praying for. Beautiful nails and legs. How do I know these things you may ask? I opted to see the baby.

Like I pushed a baby o.😊 Within those two days I was in that pain, the word of God through music was one of the things that saw me through, and the stories of others I knew who lost their babies this way or at birth but now have so much joy with their children now. It seems like the worst never happened because of the joy of their children at hand.

Sitting on the bed after the doctor, nurses, my mum and mum-in-law had congratulated me; the only thing that I could hear in my spirit was to start up some sort of support community for wives. Since that day, I've had many wives tell me their stories, without me asking, of their miscarriages and still birth. I've had wives talk about what they do and changes they've had to make. It's like I started attracting wives that had different experiences. All of a sudden, I was a person women wanted to share things with.

Recovering is another story. Sitting on hot water, being pressed with hot water, breastfeeding, in my case, wearing tight bras inorder not to lactate, was a biggy. Like, what! Women go through plenty things jare.

Women give up their names, time, work, business, location and so much more to harness a home and be an incubator for a new human.

Women go through so much and still act like nothing really changed.

We have to say these things out. We have to encourage each other and share our challenges. There's nothing new under the sun. We can learn from each other. Instead of being in competition with one another.

Imagine that what you've gone through can give hope to another woman. You just impacted, inspired and saved another woman the pain of depression.

This is a call out to newly wed women and the most experienced women still in marriage. Let's connect, share, learn, and share hope to ourselves.

Join our new community of women 'Wives Community' and let's make womanhood an easier task.

We need each other to help upcoming others.

©Ala Pepple.

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DECEIT OR NOT?

 

You have 15 mentors and 10 fathers. Who are you deceiving, you or us?

It beats me when I see people act like leeches around influential people, just because they want to be associated with them, or rather, they want people to know that they are in association with them.

Hilarious!

I love Genevieve Nnaji. I love RMD and I love Rita Dominic amongst others. I've had a time as a child, that my aunt Soph, brought Genevieve to our house.

I remember being called from church during Bible Club that my Aunt just arrived the house (I can't remember the country she came back from at the time.)

I got home and to my utmost surprise, I saw Genevieve first, I rushed to go give her a hug, like I knew her before then.

My Aunt certainly guilt tripped me for not seeing her first, and there was another actress there too that I totally didn't see. I knew my Aunt brought goodies for me and they didn't waste much time. I remember telling Genevieve that I liked her and her films, and I wanted to act just like her.😄 She smiled and listened to my talks and wishes as we walked down our stairs and when they got into my Auntie's red car whilst the whole neighborhood was watching in amazement, I waved them goodbye. I literally became the most popular girl that had held, hugged and spoken with the Ijele Princess.😄 There was no verbal request I didn't get to send to her when I spoke to her again. I remember vividly, one of our neighbors, telling me he loved her 😂😂. That one I saw as a joker after then. (Wahala for person wey dey love who en fit no see again)😂

I certainly had ridden on this atmosphere for a while before it dawned on me that I myself might not see her again and that it was just for the moment and me didn't use that opportunity well. I checked on my Aunty more regularly because I wanted to hear "I'm with Genevieve", so that I can get the chance to speak to her again.

I remember when I got to the teenage age and was pursuing acting on the side as a career; one of the production outfits said they had plans to bring Genevieve and I was working so hard on my script to be in perfect precision when she came around. It sha did not work, abi they just scammed us with that one to take them more seriously.

As I grew older, I started asking myself questions about the successful people we like, is it for eye service, to be like them, to be truly mentored by them or to be termed associated with them?

Many times, if we search deeply, it's for the wrong reasons.

You want to take a picture with that celebrity because you want people to see that you saw or you are associated with that celebrity. You want to carry the pastor's bag because you want him to know your name and see you as hardworking, not because you really want to serve. You want that influential person to know your name so that when he addresses you outside, people would see you as important. There are too many more instances.

Working in a radio station during my IT, I remembered when Asa came to the studio, and I did backup singing professionally at that time, my friend at the office then, wanted me to go very close to her, but I was adamant because I wasn't sure it is was the music path I wanted fully. But then again, why am I going to do gumbody sef?

Years of deep thoughts have taught me to always ask myself why I do what I want to do before I do it. 'What is my motive behind my action?' is always at the back of my mind. This has helped me to stay on my lane and work on myself to be a better version of me which will then easily attract influential people to me.

A guy I don't know too well once told me, "likes attract". That steered me to think differently even if I've heard it countless times. 

My mantra is to do what I do the best way I can, learn to do it better than I did it before, unlearn the things I need to unlearn, be myself at all times, never try to please anyone but God, comport myself, work intelligently, become a person of positive influence that would attract other positive influencers, join our influence together and make the world a better place.

What is your motive? What is your mantra?

You can have your own opinion, but these are my thoughts.

©ALA PEPPLE

TOILET ROMANCE

As a little girl, I always wondered if toilet romance was good, bad, filthy or disrespectful. I never was able to comprehend why I couldn't be free and romantic anywhere I wanted.

When I had my first boyfriend as a young girl, I was thinking of ways to boost our relationship. More importantly, I felt so comfortable talking to and savouring our relationship while in the toilet.

But imagine how filthy it feels, that while pooing, I'm trying to be romantic. Gross right?

Please bring your mind back. Thank you!😜

I was actually talking about God and my relationship with Him. He is my first and most important Lover, and I love being romantic with Him (having my quiet time) while in the toilet.

Are you a Christian and have you ever felt like the bathroom was the perfect place where His Presence is in? Have you also felt like you were being filthy and you were not giving Him the honour due Him? Have you also psyched yourself that God created you naked and you can come to Him anyhow you are?

These questions have bugged my mind right from when I was a little girl. I remember asking my children's church teacher after I noticed I was always worshipping and praying while bathing, if it was wrong to pray while pooing. "Does it mean that I am not honouring God?" The only response I remember he gave was; "Pray without ceasing." And he included that praying without ceasing meant there was no limitation as to when, where and how to pray.

Sincerely, even as I'm grown up, there are days I do my Bible study in the restroom. I just understand better there, and I have utmost concentration while at it. It's also the same place I always get ideas. I practically started taking my phone and keeping the recorder on standby, so that if a write-up idea comes up, I can just press the record button and save a plot.

This post is actually a question I need answers to.

Is it okay to study the word, praise and worship in the toilet? Does it mean I'm not reverencing God? Does it mean I'm not taking God as priority to give Him undivided attention in a room and decently dressed for a special time with Him?

Please give me answers to the best of your understanding and ability.

If you are in these shoes too, please drop a comment.

These are questions whose answers can help others serve God better.

By the way, I love having TOILET ROMANCE with my first and most important Boyfriend, GOD.

Ala Pepple.

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THE UNRATED BREAD

Me: Madam is the bread sweet?

Madam: The bread is really sweet, and it's today's own.

Me: Madam are you sure?

Madam: Yes na. Don't worry, you'll come back for more next time. (I see her daughter eating the bread heartily, and a fellow buyer like me came and requested for that particular bread.)

Me: Madam please give me the bread.(They bring a pack that has about six and I request for just two out of the six.)

I take this bread home and keep in the kitchen. After a few hours, I go to put the bread in the fridge for breakfast the next morning, but before I do I decided to taste from it. As I took a bite, I was perplexed to why the little girl ate the bread in such a manner that you'll think it's super sweet, and I wondered why the buyer came to request for this particular bread. Wahala truly be like madman wey thief fine cloth wear to come chop food for inside restaurant.😂 (I don't know where this came from sha).

People who know me well, know that I have a thing for fresh succulent bread. I only managed to start eating bread that has stayed over a day, but if it's beyond 2 days, you are on your own.

I decided to eat this bread I could not rate that night. I jejely just made a cup of ovaltine, grabbed my husband's jam (which I usually don't like so much because it's too sweet), one carrot and one mango in addition to it. At least I need to subdue the torture of this horrible bread I used my money to purchase.

As I sat down to force down this bread I couldn't rate, I noticed it had a smell like it had a chemical and it had a funny taste and it wasn't buttery like it looked. I just wondered why the woman told me it was very sweet and succulent, and why her daughter ate the bread like it was the sweetest bread she had ever had. What came to my mind was that; people are different, see things differently, have different likes and dislikes and have different opinions.

I couldn't blame the lady or tell my myself she lied to me because she said what she tasted and her daughter had the expression of what she tasted too. To them and the person that came to buy it, it's very sweet, to me it's not good at all.

You know this thing about forcing people to see things from your perspective? It's wrong, stopeet!!

The Rich would say that a 40,000 perfume is cheap, the middle class would say it's on the high side and a poor person would say it's outrageously expensive. Same item, different people with different orientation and background, with different opinions.

The next time you want to blame someone, think about their orientations. I can't say this woman lied because her daughter wouldn't have eaten the bread in such manner just to convince me to buy.

Incase you skipped to the last paragraph, the summary of this rate less bread is, we shouldn't judge people based on our ideologies or opinions. We should understand that we are all different, come from different backgrounds, have different orientations, and that could influence the way we perceive things.

I had a terrific bread experience, but I learnt, or rather I'll say I was reminded of the importance of not judging people from my perspective.

Less judgements in this world would make the world a more understandable and a seemingly better place.

However, the bread, I buy not ever; and the woman I ask not of her opinion on things with taste.

I rest my case.✌️

Ala Pepple.

LESSONS TO ME

Me, I'm madam of do it as it is pictured in the head. Do it as planned strategically. My mum is the mother of Do It. No excuses.

Many people would be like why didn't you just replicate your mum since she taught you to be swift with everything. I would have, but I also realized there were too many things that wasn't right because of the Do It without strategically planning for the stages and the outcomes. I therefore decided to be the one who plans appropriately, and stick to the plan.

Does it work? Yes. Does it work all the time? No. Is it good? Yes. Is it necessary all the time? No.

My mum wants to do laundry, she doesn't announce it, she will just wake up one morning, and it is done. Me, I will be psyching myself days before. The worst thing that can happen is for rain to drizzle, I'm done.😂

I wanted to do some DIY painting on our newly moved into apartment doors, but I was keeping it for a DIY video on my YouTube channel. My mum helped herself with it when she was bored. I felt like crying when I came back home and she had done it. That one is minus one YouTube content.

We had some plastering work to do at our backyard, and my mum stayed one afternoon and started doing it. Our family carpenter who is also a family friend came to do a job for us and saw what she did. The man was amazed.

Is it the part where there is no money and she enters the kitchen with what is available and makes the most sumptuous of meals? For those people thinking that managing food items and washing clothes every week is what makes a lady a wife material, well done o.

I've learnt so much from my mum with her do it attitude.

1. There are negatives and positives to almost everything in life, so if you don't do it because of the negatives, you won't learn and you won't reap the benefits of the positive.

2. God wants us to trust Him to do what He is requesting us to. You mustn't know what the end result would be, TRUST HIM.

So, I took a pause for 3 weeks after writing to this point, because I went to run an errand and now I'm thinking of the remaining points I wanted to make.

3. A lot has been left undone on my end for obvious reasons of planning and picture perfect like it should be in Interior Design, but I'm learning to gradually do things as it comes and trusting the process.

4. I've learnt that it's okay to make mistakes, they are a part of life. Next time you do make a mistake, sit down and think through the why. If you take care of the why, you would have learnt how not to make that same mistake, and you can teach others in your little way, not to make same mistakes.

5. The second half of the year just started, go through your goals for the year. Start over, it's still possible with Covid-19.

6. Finally, do am AS E DEY HOT (as it comes to you). You never know what you are about to achieve with it. Lessons to me.

ALA O. PEPPLE

EXODUS OF MY LOVE STORY

I remember vividly, the first day we hung out for the first time. That day I was flat broke, and I had only N50 on me. He called to ask if we could hang out since he was in PH. The normal me, as per the very normal me would never leave my house if I had no money and I had to hang out with a man.

I remembered a friend drove me to a new Genesis restaurant not so far from my house, it was fine and wasn't looking like the usual eatery, so I directed him there.

The sun was scorchingly hot, and I didn't even know why I said yes to that outing.

Trust me, I'm one girl that when going out with someone for the first time, I don't stress myself as to what to wear. I stepped into a pair of jeans, wore a big polo, a pams slipper and I walked to the junction to take a taxi.

In my mind, I was laughing at myself and asking "what if he doesn't drive? I would sha just walk back to my house, I told myself."

On getting there, I sat and waited for a while, normal me hates that I seat in an eatery waiting without nibbling on something, but the babe could not afford that luxury of doughnut so I fasheed everyone and was pressing my not so okay phone.

As he stepped into the eatery, I watched as he walked and almost laughed my heart out. My dear brother wore a big short, a polo shirt inside, a big shortsleeve shirt on the outside and one small oversize palms. 😂

My I don't care did not reach this one abeg. 😂 He apologized for being late and asked what I would take. Me I sha told him that he had mind not to package and come out to officially meet with a girl for the first time. I can't remember his response to me, but I know it was hilarious and honest. He even told me back that he was surprised I came the way I came. We bought laughed at our 'I don't care about first impression selves'.

I have another bad habit, if I hang out with a young guy that isn't wadded, I try to just take a drink, if not I'll surprise him and pay for something. If not the food, transport back. (You see why I like having money.) I don't like embarrassment in this my life.

Anyways, I think I settled for one meat pie and a bottle of drink (I can't really remember that.) Uncle was asking me if I was okay. Do I want another thing? In my mind I'm like, "uncle be calming down."😄

I can't remember all we talked about, but I remember him promising to pay for my french fees and changing my phone. I said thank you nicely, but in my mind I was like, "what is this one promising promising me upandan. Did I ask him for his money?" 

PS: He just wanted to be friends o, so there was no love talk. I was surprised that toward the end of the month, uncu called me and said he was sorry he couldn't send me the money as at when I told him, that it would come later because he had some expenses that didn't let him give me then. I was shocked. "Ah! This one even remembers that play play talk for inside Genesis. "It was nice that he did.

I had already started off the French school. I actually have an international French certificate but I couldn't defend it anymore because I wasn't practicing. I had already paid for my fees and paid for some of my books, and I was also choked up with an Interior Design project.

As for my phone, it was jonsing, but a friend of mine came into PH from Dubai and when we went to see a movie, he gave me some money for a new phone. I didn't waste time o, I added the small money I had saved up for a phone and went to buy the one the total cash I had could get.

Uncu was surprised after he had sent me money for French fees and asked me how much was the phone I had told him I had in mind that I had already changed my phone. He said ah! Okay na.

I was surprised that someone that was not asking me out, and someone I don't talk to every day, remembers that he made a promise to me that I thought was a joke. Meanwhile, uncu's phone was badder than mine o😄, but he said he was terrible with phones. Sincerely, I liked his personality and his honesty and his I don't careness but his seriousness.😊

I never knew that this uncu I doubted anyhow would be the love of my life and husband.

Let me end this gist here. Until another day, remember not to look down on anyone. E get why.

This is not the beginning of the story, but let me just start here😁.

It was supposed to be Happy Valentine, but it has passed. So, happy end of February.

Ala O. Pepple nee Wilcox

#mystory 

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