SILENCE

Shhhhh!
Silence is golden.
Silence is deadly.
Silence is liberating.
Silence is gain.
Silence is pain.
Silence is ignorance.
Silence is acceptance.
Silence is living.
Silence is killing.

Quietude! Tranquility! Stillness!
Synoynmys they are,
Deep expressions they can have.

A fool speaks?
Silence is golden.
Angry?
Silence is deadly.
Exhausted?
Silence is liberating.
Be strategic?
Silence is gain.
Suffering?
Silence is pain.
Don't know a thing and won't seek answers?
Silence is ignorance.
With a cherished one?
Silence is acceptance.
Sleeping?
Silence is living.
Living silently without purpose?
Silence is killing.

Silence!
One word, multiple meanings, diverse effects.
Choose the right effect.

My Thoughts.
Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #silence #expressions #effects #choice #decisions #golden #thoughts #blog

DECISION!?

I think this has been one of the best decisions I've ever taken in life. Why do I say so you may ask?

I say so because it has made me the happiest and most contended human existing. Not in the prideful way but in the grateful kinda way.

I'll save you the trouble of trying to figure it out.

****

It began a few years ago when I got back from NYSC. I had issues with one of my accounts, so I went to sort it out with the bank. 

At the verge of waiting for the completion of my transaction, a man walks in and was really upset on his having issues with his cheque. He eventually took note of me and approached me.

As a new business girl, I needed every contact I could get because I didn't know who will be the client that would give me the opportunity to show my skills.

****

Let's call him Soso(not the real name). He had most of his business meetings in a hotel and that automatically became our meeting point.

I loved that he gave me a very reasonable amount for transport. So, seeing him was more like sorting some bill's out, and since I was new in the real business world, and I was still job hunting, it helped solve the part of taking care of my mum and sis as this was paramount to my well-being. 

***

A little forward to the eve of my birthday, I received a pleasant call from Soso saying that my birthday gift was ready for collection. I was new in my church then and had joined the youth choir. I dropped my bag off at church and hurriedly went to receive this gift that warranted a call.

On getting there, it wasn't business as usual. We didn't meet in the restaurant as we usually did. I was asked to go to the room. Anyways, I was too excited to feel too funny, after all, its few hours to my being plus one😊😁 .

His PA who is a woman was present and it looked like they were just wrapping up the business activities for the day. With excitement and peace of mind that we were two women, I sat on the sofa in the room.

After a few minutes, my fellow sisi had to leave, thereby leaving Soso and I alone in the room.

You could see me grinning from ear to ear when Soso brought out N300,000 cash and dropped on the table that it was my gift cause he knew I needed it after I received a 7 days quit notice from my landlord 3 days before that time, who said he wanted to use his house for something.

"God has finally answered my prayers," I said to myself. And just when I was saying, thank you to pick the money up, he said "but you'll have sex with me." Everything within me was dazzled in shock at that moment. It was a sharp "no" that got out of my mouth.

"I'll make it N400,000" he said. I don't know how, but I sha said no again. I added that it was against my value system. Soso then said, "N500,000, just make me cum." 🙅‍♀️🙆‍♀️😰 At this moment, somewhere in my head, I had calculated rent, plus registration of my company, plus the extra and in that same split second, I remembered my values, my love for God, my frowning against not working hard for what you wanted, my frowning against the exchange of sex for money and the fact that him cumming wouldn't need him penetrating. The thoughts were fast, but I still summoned up courage to say no. At this point of my saying no, I realized I was more daunting and fearless about my decision. "N700,000, please just make me cum." At this point he brought out the N700,000 cash on the bed, and he was running after me in the room, I could only shout "no, I can't and I won't." As I ran round trying to escape his grasp, I cried and prayed out loud as much as I could. In that motion, I remembered how one of my uncles who had enough extra rooms to take us in said we couldn't stay with him. We even begged to keep our belongings there till we find our feet but he said no. I kept running, crying and telling God to help me out of this temptation plus mess, because if this man raped me, I don't even know how I'll explain that it's birthday gift that took me there. 😭🤦‍♀️

After lots of struggling, I got out in one piece but with a broken heart 💔 and an uncertain new year. It wasn't my fault 🤷‍♀️. I had 3 days to park to where I didn't know and I had no money. The birthday wishes for that year didn't mean anything as I was saddled with the question; what next?

The 7th day was here, and my mum had talked to her cousin in Igwurita who was happy to help. That was how I moved from township to village o.🤕 It wasn't easy transporting three of us to town almost everyday but God saw us through. I was even the happy girl with a very heavy heart without people knowing.

Thank God for the people around me and the undiluted word of God I heard to keep me strong in that season.

Jobs were not coming forth for over 6 months, but It took a job in the eight month and two friends to give us the rent we needed for a very conducive place in the heart of the town.

It was a very tough decision then, but it made me happier with myself after the trying period. 

I am happy that in this time and era I could stand for something morally right even in my imperfection. I'm glad to know that my value in the eyes of that man can never diminish, and I'm glad that if he sees me anywhere, he can vouch me for good.

I'm glad that I could practice what I preach, even if it was one of the toughest things I did.

I'm glad that I am wealthier than cash 😊(very controversial statement, but na so I de feel 😁).

I'm glad I can tell a girl out there that your problems won't and can't kill you, There would always be a way and you can make the right decisions no matter how hard it might seem.

I just feel fulfilled that I made the right decision on that 24th day of August. You can too. 🤗

As for the picture of a wedding dress, I tried out one when I joined my friend out for her wedding gown search 😉. Don't worry, your wedding prayers for me will soon be answered in Jesus name. Amen 🙏

PS: This story is not to judge you or make you think I'm too holy(I no even near sef 🙄). It's basically for letting you know that your right decision today can make a huge difference to your tomorrow. It can help you write off some bad decisions of the past and give you boldness to make better decisions in the future.

I hope my story inspires you to make the right decision today, tomorrow and in the future.

My Story.

Ala O. Wilcox.

#AlaWilcox #mylife #truestory #decisions #hardbutfruitful #stronger 

LAST BUS STOP! I THINK.😏

Its difficult, but its life you know!😏 Especially that moment you think 'this is my final bus stop🙄. No cause to look elsewhere, only the one before and ways to make everything grow to a better form.'🤧

I'm sorry, but it's not all the time your plans come to actualization, but as I said earlier, that's life for you.🤓

When the year starts we have lots of plans and probably a vision board, and at some point life gets at us in such a way we don't go back to them except ofcourse we discipline ourselves to see what we wrote down through.

***
On this certain day, going through my prayer points, write ups and affirmations, I realized after God and family, the next person I prayed for was him. My prayer investment was basically to see him be a better version of himself. But I wondered why it seemed like I didn't even do it, because of course, it's no more existing. As I turned those pages and I saw how much I wasn't selfish with my prayer points, tears rolled down my eyes😪. 'Ala, get yourself together'🤦‍♀️ I told myself. 'You wished, you planned, you felt, you loved but there's always a new chapter.' 🤷‍♀️

See ehn, e pain for bone marrow🥺 but our plans are not always God plans.🙏

I learnt through this time that sometimes, something's happen for you to get a better understanding 🧠of who you truly are. Many of us think we do know who we are but if we look deeply, we find out we know who people think we are or who we perceive ourselves to be due to the people we see and look up to. It's a hard truth but it's TRUE.💪🦴

I also learnt that God can use some disappointing situations to make me and the other person involved better versions of ourselves.🙂

The whole point of this is, don't settle for less🙅‍♀️, know who you are💆‍♀️, see how you can bring out the best from that disappointment🧘‍♀️✍.
Gods got you through every phase in your life👌.

My Thoughts
Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #recovery #pain #tbt #memories #life #God

Emergency Soup

I was wondering why I still had soup in my plate when my eba finished. I guess it was because I wanted to finish the remaining garri in the bowl, but I remembered I'm trying to fight big tummy.🤦‍♀️ I just jejely licked the remaining soup.

This soup was sweeter than I imagined, and to think that I was making shakara to eat it since I got back home this afternoon.

By the way, this soup is my mum's emergency soup. Yesterday when I got back home, she said, "Onyeka I made Egusi soup with plenty of stock fish. Dried fish is finished and there is no leaf inside it." Me, the girl that loves plenty orishirishi inside my soup said she should not worry.

Today as I got back, I had plans for convocation rice and was keeping my humble belly for it, only for rain to step in and laziness followed afterward. I kukuma memove* wakar (outing) cloth and wear house cloth to swallow eba because, house jollof rice is not party jollof and if it's not party jollof today, we do swallow✌😁😉.

As I baked the eba and courteously left a little in the bowl, my mind was still wanting me to swallow more. That's the only reason me of all people will remain sweet soup.

Usually, we only see very organised and good looking food on the internet, even those of us that are not into catering. So just before I finished my mother's sweet emergency egusi soup that is sweeter than most of those well packaged soup on the internet, I decided to take a picture of my semi empty plate that is unmatched and not in a tray. I decided to take it to let you know that its okay to be yourself. It's okay to display the imperfect because you are not perfect.

Our mothers made and still make special and sumptuous delicacies with what they have in the house without breaking a bank and we grew up enjoying it, but just because we saw someone in a Chinese restaurant taking a pic of food they might not have even paid for with their money, we feel ashamed to show that we blow* eba with soup that has no meat in it😂.

My dear social media people, be yourself o! Don't let all this perfections you see online choke you to your end.

Enuf said! Let me go and stretch my leg and sleep well so that the food will enter everywhere in my body (according to my little cousin).🤣🤣🤣🤣

I sha used roasted fish to eat laslas😋.

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #emergency #soup #egusi #real #blogger #interiordesigner #interiordecorator #life 

Na By Force?!

When I posted this picture yesterday on my WhatsApp status, everyone was asking me if I wanted to do a makeover, and when I said no, they are like, "why are you showing us your pimples and scattered hair?" 

Imami!! (it is supposed to be akwa ibom language of 'My God!' but sha, I don't know if I got it😄).

Back to my story; I don't get why I would always be expected to bring my best foot in front on social media, giving me the headache of always looking perfect. Meanwhile, the imperfection I'm dealing with is very plenty.🤦‍♀️

My dear social media people, you are not perfect and you know it. You don't have it all together and you know it. You don't know it all and you know it. So why pretend you do?

Many people that pretend they do are the ones who even go through the worst kind of depression. Be yourself and allow God do the workings He needs to do in your life. When you act like you have it all together, you tell Him indirectly that you don't need Him and you tell those who can help you out there that you don't need them too.

Please and please, don't allow social media drown you.

As for me, I need all the help I can get and I'm not the perfect girl. I'm just the girl who has courage to face the storms as they come and still have the goofy face that makes people think all is well all the time. Its Gods grace that even gives me that strength. Without Jesus, I'm just a smashed moimoi in my heart😂😂.

Oya, I have tried for today. Have a beautiful weekend ahead🤗🤗.

By the way, on this blog, I'm over. No time to pretend😉.

Ala O. Wilcox 

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog

#blogger

#lifestyle #lifestyleblogger #interiordesigner #interiordecorator #linguist #real #instagram #facebook

BE CONFUSED

Many times we get to the point where we think we know what we are doing or what we want to do, but deep down we still feel confused about what exactly we want to do. Especially for those of us that have a lot, we can do, and we almost love everything we can do, because our individuality makes us adhere passion to anything we get involved in except of course it’s something we don’t like at all.

Truth is, I have been here and I am here at the moment. I know many people will read in amazement thinking to themselves, “I thought Ala always had it figured out? I thought she always had it all together”? My dear reader, and friends, it’s not like that all the time o. There are many times where I’ve known what I want, but there are also times when my wanting or knowing hasn’t found total rest in me to push hard, this makes me take a pause seeking clarity and in turn, make me feel stagnant. I hate being in the wait for every reason you can think of. But, it’s a necessary process.

Imagine going on with life as you want it and not taking a pause to weigh if that is what or what you should or shouldn’t be doing at that point? It’s going to be a huge disaster and a total waste of time at some point. And I believe that it’s better to take time and do the right thing rightly than rush and do the right thing wrongly or at the wrong time. The truth is there is time for everything.

I usually sit down and ask myself questions about every area of my life which I give honest answers to. Especially when I am raging with lots of ideas and there are so many things I wish to achieve within a particular period. I know many believers will say in their hearts that I’m not spiritual enough because I am confused, but I beg to differ.

I’ve gotten to understand that everything embedded in me is for a reason and it all has its time of manifestation and I am not negligent of the fact that the world is so loud and it can also inspire a lot of things I might think is true for me at a particular point in time, so, rather than I make a mistake and make moves I’m not sure of, I will sit for a while off the radar and get clarity, by having frank talk sessions with me and the Holy Spirit till I get my answer.

There’s no need to be in a hurry with you. The most important thing is getting it right. Our society has made us believe that we must always be on the move and never wait. That’s not totally true. There are seasons and every seed planted has its season of waiting and its season of harvest. Know when it’s your waiting season and use it appropriately, it could be a capacity building moment for the harvest that is yet to come.

The time of confusion could be a time to find the true you, so it’s okay to be confused once in a while. Be true to you, be true to your time, discover you and give the best of you to the world unapologetically.

My Thoughts

©Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #mythoughts #beconfused #findingyou #itsokay #truth

MAD AND CHERISHED

Have you ever wondered? I heard me asking myself. You have to wait to know what it is I’m wondering about. (Smiles)

"Enugu looks really organized," I told my friend who came to get us from where we were waiting as we touched the coal city-state. What I fancied most was the parks and the seats that were there for passengers who waited for vehicles. "Even mad people been de stay there sleep, the government come pack all of them go keep somewhere" my friend quickly responded to my statement, and my response to him was "mad people like better thing too na.” We laughed over it but, that scenario stuck in my head.

The next early morning on my way to the park with a tricycle (keke napep) to pick up the parcel that was sent from Port Harcourt, I wondered why at 6 am everywhere was dry and no one was in a hurry to get to work. But when I saw the beautiful bus stop, I strayed into a deeper thought level. I wondered why madmen would take shelter there and why mad people no matter the cause of the madness, be it excessive consumption of hard drugs, psychological imbalance, spiritual manipulations, and so on, they all want to be safe. 
This reminded me of about thirteen years ago when militants were fighting and we were in the middle of the clash between militants and the military; a mad man ran with his heels touching the back of his head while trying to stay away from stray bullets, and went on to take cover under an abandoned car as it was obvious no one would let him in as they did to others who begged to run into their houses for safety.

It also came to mind, the number of mosquitoes and other insects that bite them on a regular basis but there’s no malaria or typhoid killing them (maybe there is but it's not as rampant as sane people's cases). If you think or imagine what they eat, you’ll want to throw up, but regardless of all this, they are still healthy, working long distances. A mad man will work through a dark, lonely unsafe road and wouldn’t have the reasoning of caring for his safety, and he comes out unscathed. He is MAD. They are careless but cherished anyways.

If God can care so much for mad people who care less about themselves or Him, or even His work, who am I not to be loved by Him.

This taught me to live carefree in Him just like a little child would.

All this my story is to remind you that God loves you dearly no matter who you are or what you have done in the past or what you will do in the future.

Never forget that.

My Thoughts.
©Ala O. Wilcox

#MAD #cherished #loved #special #alawilcox #alawilcoxblog #reminder #happynewmonth #welcome #MAY