LAST BUS STOP! I THINK.😏

Its difficult, but its life you know!😏 Especially that moment you think 'this is my final bus stop🙄. No cause to look elsewhere, only the one before and ways to make everything grow to a better form.'🤧

I'm sorry, but it's not all the time your plans come to actualization, but as I said earlier, that's life for you.🤓

When the year starts we have lots of plans and probably a vision board, and at some point life gets at us in such a way we don't go back to them except ofcourse we discipline ourselves to see what we wrote down through.

***
On this certain day, going through my prayer points, write ups and affirmations, I realized after God and family, the next person I prayed for was him. My prayer investment was basically to see him be a better version of himself. But I wondered why it seemed like I didn't even do it, because of course, it's no more existing. As I turned those pages and I saw how much I wasn't selfish with my prayer points, tears rolled down my eyes😪. 'Ala, get yourself together'🤦‍♀️ I told myself. 'You wished, you planned, you felt, you loved but there's always a new chapter.' 🤷‍♀️

See ehn, e pain for bone marrow🥺 but our plans are not always God plans.🙏

I learnt through this time that sometimes, something's happen for you to get a better understanding 🧠of who you truly are. Many of us think we do know who we are but if we look deeply, we find out we know who people think we are or who we perceive ourselves to be due to the people we see and look up to. It's a hard truth but it's TRUE.💪🦴

I also learnt that God can use some disappointing situations to make me and the other person involved better versions of ourselves.🙂

The whole point of this is, don't settle for less🙅‍♀️, know who you are💆‍♀️, see how you can bring out the best from that disappointment🧘‍♀️✍.
Gods got you through every phase in your life👌.

My Thoughts
Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #recovery #pain #tbt #memories #life #God

Emergency Soup

I was wondering why I still had soup in my plate when my eba finished. I guess it was because I wanted to finish the remaining garri in the bowl, but I remembered I'm trying to fight big tummy.🤦‍♀️ I just jejely licked the remaining soup.

This soup was sweeter than I imagined, and to think that I was making shakara to eat it since I got back home this afternoon.

By the way, this soup is my mum's emergency soup. Yesterday when I got back home, she said, "Onyeka I made Egusi soup with plenty of stock fish. Dried fish is finished and there is no leaf inside it." Me, the girl that loves plenty orishirishi inside my soup said she should not worry.

Today as I got back, I had plans for convocation rice and was keeping my humble belly for it, only for rain to step in and laziness followed afterward. I kukuma memove* wakar (outing) cloth and wear house cloth to swallow eba because, house jollof rice is not party jollof and if it's not party jollof today, we do swallow✌😁😉.

As I baked the eba and courteously left a little in the bowl, my mind was still wanting me to swallow more. That's the only reason me of all people will remain sweet soup.

Usually, we only see very organised and good looking food on the internet, even those of us that are not into catering. So just before I finished my mother's sweet emergency egusi soup that is sweeter than most of those well packaged soup on the internet, I decided to take a picture of my semi empty plate that is unmatched and not in a tray. I decided to take it to let you know that its okay to be yourself. It's okay to display the imperfect because you are not perfect.

Our mothers made and still make special and sumptuous delicacies with what they have in the house without breaking a bank and we grew up enjoying it, but just because we saw someone in a Chinese restaurant taking a pic of food they might not have even paid for with their money, we feel ashamed to show that we blow* eba with soup that has no meat in it😂.

My dear social media people, be yourself o! Don't let all this perfections you see online choke you to your end.

Enuf said! Let me go and stretch my leg and sleep well so that the food will enter everywhere in my body (according to my little cousin).🤣🤣🤣🤣

I sha used roasted fish to eat laslas😋.

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #emergency #soup #egusi #real #blogger #interiordesigner #interiordecorator #life 

Na By Force?!

When I posted this picture yesterday on my WhatsApp status, everyone was asking me if I wanted to do a makeover, and when I said no, they are like, "why are you showing us your pimples and scattered hair?" 

Imami!! (it is supposed to be akwa ibom language of 'My God!' but sha, I don't know if I got it😄).

Back to my story; I don't get why I would always be expected to bring my best foot in front on social media, giving me the headache of always looking perfect. Meanwhile, the imperfection I'm dealing with is very plenty.🤦‍♀️

My dear social media people, you are not perfect and you know it. You don't have it all together and you know it. You don't know it all and you know it. So why pretend you do?

Many people that pretend they do are the ones who even go through the worst kind of depression. Be yourself and allow God do the workings He needs to do in your life. When you act like you have it all together, you tell Him indirectly that you don't need Him and you tell those who can help you out there that you don't need them too.

Please and please, don't allow social media drown you.

As for me, I need all the help I can get and I'm not the perfect girl. I'm just the girl who has courage to face the storms as they come and still have the goofy face that makes people think all is well all the time. Its Gods grace that even gives me that strength. Without Jesus, I'm just a smashed moimoi in my heart😂😂.

Oya, I have tried for today. Have a beautiful weekend ahead🤗🤗.

By the way, on this blog, I'm over. No time to pretend😉.

Ala O. Wilcox 

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog

#blogger

#lifestyle #lifestyleblogger #interiordesigner #interiordecorator #linguist #real #instagram #facebook

BE CONFUSED

Many times we get to the point where we think we know what we are doing or what we want to do, but deep down we still feel confused about what exactly we want to do. Especially for those of us that have a lot, we can do, and we almost love everything we can do, because our individuality makes us adhere passion to anything we get involved in except of course it’s something we don’t like at all.

Truth is, I have been here and I am here at the moment. I know many people will read in amazement thinking to themselves, “I thought Ala always had it figured out? I thought she always had it all together”? My dear reader, and friends, it’s not like that all the time o. There are many times where I’ve known what I want, but there are also times when my wanting or knowing hasn’t found total rest in me to push hard, this makes me take a pause seeking clarity and in turn, make me feel stagnant. I hate being in the wait for every reason you can think of. But, it’s a necessary process.

Imagine going on with life as you want it and not taking a pause to weigh if that is what or what you should or shouldn’t be doing at that point? It’s going to be a huge disaster and a total waste of time at some point. And I believe that it’s better to take time and do the right thing rightly than rush and do the right thing wrongly or at the wrong time. The truth is there is time for everything.

I usually sit down and ask myself questions about every area of my life which I give honest answers to. Especially when I am raging with lots of ideas and there are so many things I wish to achieve within a particular period. I know many believers will say in their hearts that I’m not spiritual enough because I am confused, but I beg to differ.

I’ve gotten to understand that everything embedded in me is for a reason and it all has its time of manifestation and I am not negligent of the fact that the world is so loud and it can also inspire a lot of things I might think is true for me at a particular point in time, so, rather than I make a mistake and make moves I’m not sure of, I will sit for a while off the radar and get clarity, by having frank talk sessions with me and the Holy Spirit till I get my answer.

There’s no need to be in a hurry with you. The most important thing is getting it right. Our society has made us believe that we must always be on the move and never wait. That’s not totally true. There are seasons and every seed planted has its season of waiting and its season of harvest. Know when it’s your waiting season and use it appropriately, it could be a capacity building moment for the harvest that is yet to come.

The time of confusion could be a time to find the true you, so it’s okay to be confused once in a while. Be true to you, be true to your time, discover you and give the best of you to the world unapologetically.

My Thoughts

©Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #mythoughts #beconfused #findingyou #itsokay #truth

MAD AND CHERISHED

Have you ever wondered? I heard me asking myself. You have to wait to know what it is I’m wondering about. (Smiles)

"Enugu looks really organized," I told my friend who came to get us from where we were waiting as we touched the coal city-state. What I fancied most was the parks and the seats that were there for passengers who waited for vehicles. "Even mad people been de stay there sleep, the government come pack all of them go keep somewhere" my friend quickly responded to my statement, and my response to him was "mad people like better thing too na.” We laughed over it but, that scenario stuck in my head.

The next early morning on my way to the park with a tricycle (keke napep) to pick up the parcel that was sent from Port Harcourt, I wondered why at 6 am everywhere was dry and no one was in a hurry to get to work. But when I saw the beautiful bus stop, I strayed into a deeper thought level. I wondered why madmen would take shelter there and why mad people no matter the cause of the madness, be it excessive consumption of hard drugs, psychological imbalance, spiritual manipulations, and so on, they all want to be safe. 
This reminded me of about thirteen years ago when militants were fighting and we were in the middle of the clash between militants and the military; a mad man ran with his heels touching the back of his head while trying to stay away from stray bullets, and went on to take cover under an abandoned car as it was obvious no one would let him in as they did to others who begged to run into their houses for safety.

It also came to mind, the number of mosquitoes and other insects that bite them on a regular basis but there’s no malaria or typhoid killing them (maybe there is but it's not as rampant as sane people's cases). If you think or imagine what they eat, you’ll want to throw up, but regardless of all this, they are still healthy, working long distances. A mad man will work through a dark, lonely unsafe road and wouldn’t have the reasoning of caring for his safety, and he comes out unscathed. He is MAD. They are careless but cherished anyways.

If God can care so much for mad people who care less about themselves or Him, or even His work, who am I not to be loved by Him.

This taught me to live carefree in Him just like a little child would.

All this my story is to remind you that God loves you dearly no matter who you are or what you have done in the past or what you will do in the future.

Never forget that.

My Thoughts.
©Ala O. Wilcox

#MAD #cherished #loved #special #alawilcox #alawilcoxblog #reminder #happynewmonth #welcome #MAY

SELF LESS OR SELF MOST

It's amazing how I always put myself a second place in anything I'm doing. Second place in the sense that I earn and not think of me, what I need or what I should do for myself.

This has literally been a struggle for me in past years as I've been saddled with responsibilities of taking charge from a very young age. Psychologically, it made me not know how to ask for something even when I needed it, it made me very dependent and made me very cynical with having fun for me. I'll rather save up the money I have for an emergency than go to the masseuse. I wasn't ever disappointed as emergencies have always sprung up in one way or the other.

So, I hung out with my friends, and I was surprised when everyone was in agreement that I needed to take care of myself and give me a break from too many responsibilities both at home, work and church. It was so deep when one said: "since I know you, I've not heard about you saying you were wanting to do something for you."

Oh my! This was eye-opening. As much as I thought about this, my natural mind was asking me "so; how do you take care of those things, people and emergencies if you do this? Wouldn't you be acting selfishly?" and the answer came immediately from three of them at once, some things will always take care of themselves.

That's it. I think I've learnt to put me first no matter how selfless I am. I will have to learn to put my foot on the ground and say no sometimes. Not putting me first has set me back in so many ways and it sure has made me forget about taking care of me.

I know there are so many people out there, especially young women that have grown up with responsibilities beyond their age and this have psychologically shaped them to thinking taking care of them first is selfishness and putting family and others first means selflessness, please purge that off and take a few times to love on you by caring for you. As you do this, however, note that you need to strike a balance. Don't lose being selfless because you want to take care of you. Being selfless is part of you. The blessings will spring up from that area in most cases but don't forget you because of others.

As for those I've gathered the courage to ask and you ignored or rubbed it on my face, it made me trust God better. Thank you.

For those that have given selflessly, when I requested, despite what they had planned or budgeted, be rest assured that God will bless you more than you imagined.

That's it for today. #smiles



©Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #selfless #selfmost #selfcare #firstthings #women #youngwomen #family #responsibilities #friends #outing #enlighten

SIGNATURE

As I took a pose for this picture, Sarah said, yes, this is your signature. As I positioned for the one, I claimed was the last, she said "this is another signature pose" with a smile. 
My feet were hurting from my shoes so I couldn't wait to take them off at that point. 

We had gathered around waiting for the teachers in the children church to round up their work in order for us to rehearse for Wordroom on Monday.
As we rehearsed, that word just continued reiterating in my head but I didn't even have the picture in my phone cause we just launched one of our friend's new phone by taking pictures with it. I tried to concentrate through the rehearsal, and I finally took the pictures via xender at the end of the rehearsal. 

As I walked back home, I just wondered why I always took a particular pose and smiled a particular way to eventually enjoy my picture taking process. 
If I'm not smiling wide or if I'm too composed, I just feel like 'this picture never enter body', I feel stiffened and at the end, I feel like the picture is not fine. If you like, explain how beautiful it is to me, I'll tell you 'na wash jare'. 
This just made me think farther, why would I feel more comfortable taking a pic when I don't feel too organized? I'll rather laugh, jump, dance or play and then it feels perfect to me. 

This narrowed me down to the fact that we are all different, which is obvious and not a new thing to hear. But the question is, "do we cherish our differences and uniqueness or do we want to fit into what others are comfortable with or what is trending?" 

Many of us, including businesses, started our lives, career, businesses with a signature basically because we felt that was it for us, but along the way, we looked at what was working for others on social media and rather than learn and improve on yours, you imbibed theirs and forgot about yours. You forgot about where you said you were going to and decided to go where another person who is more successful than you is going to. 
Someone wrote, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” -unknown. 

Your signature is what people perceive of you, see in you and look out for in you. Your signature is you to the world. 
What do people see when they see you? You or a copy of another person? 
Do not lose out on you just because you want to fit in. 

By the way, I'm still wondering how I'll survive on my wedding day with all these arrangee arrangee pictures and all. Laslas, we will do kpankpangolo play so that the pictures gbedu will enter body. Lol! 😄😂😂😂😂

My Thoughts.

©Ala Onyeka Wilcox

#signature #alawilcox #alawilcoxblog #blog