IT

So I thought of what to put my thoughts on today and what dropped in my mind is something most people are scared of, some people are brave and hopeful enough to overcome, some people feel it's demonic and should never come their way, others see IT as a norm so they get comfortable with IT rather than brave up to overcoming IT.

I see IT as a lion trying to eat a man, some traits of men will give up by the mere sight of it, others will struggle to not be eaten by it but would later give up their fight, the very rare trait will fight till the lion will either leave them or get killed.
I see IT as a snake you come across on the road. You got two choices, find a stick and kill it or wait to be bitten by it then die.

Am sure we're all wondering, where Ala is headed to this morning? (Laughs)

IT is a thing we face everyday no matter our colour, tribe, educational/professional status, power/influential status, religious or even financial status.

Since IT affects everyone, what then is the solution to IT. Getting over IT is dependent on you. If you make up your mind that you're going to make it through IT, you will, 'cause your solution begins with your mind.

Have you ever thought of why without faith it is impossible to please God? A question I think you should ponder on.

Your mind is so powerful that if you think with it and you say what you thought about with your mouth, what you said can be manifested in the physical. Work on your mind because it's a force behind succeeding in life, it's a force behind answers to prayers, it's a force behind everything that partains to life. Feed it with the word of God, nurture it, speak to it positively, challenge it to be positive toward every situation and you will smile at the end in victory.

Don't run away from IT, face IT, overcome IT with the help of God in you, be victorious and teach others the way to face IT.

I'll cut the IT now, am simply talking about CHALLENGES.
Don't forget to be the trait of men that will fight the lion till it runs away or dies and don't forget to find the stick and kill the snake.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox

Potatoes, Eggs or Coffee Beans. Which one are you?

On a certain day, Annabel complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it as she was tired of fighting and struggling through life all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one immediately followed.

Mr Stanley, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot, and ground coffee beans in the third pot.

He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.

After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her he asked. “Annie, what do you see?”

“Potatoes, eggs, and coffee,” she hastily replied.

“Look closer,” he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

“Daddy, what does this mean?” she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity– the boiling water.

However, each one reacted differently.

The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.

The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

“Which are you,” he asked his daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean? “

Moral:

In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is what happens within us.

Which one are you?

Lessons from my ordeal

Something terrible happened to me two weeks ago. I had serious issues with my phones memory and network. I managed it for like a week as much as it wasn't comfortable for me and business. My network could just go off for over 6hours at a stretch and it was super annoying. I decided to go to the phone professionals to get it fixed. On getting there, they had to monitor the phone's network first so I bought a second sim to check if the problem was from my network provider or my phone. It was stable and unstable but it worked better than my originally known sim.

Down to the second issue; My phones memory! They tried going around it but it wasn't just answering their instructions then they had to use a computer to clear some caches and that's were the supposed not so good news started. 

Firstly, the first set of caches they deleted were 'My Thoughts' write-ups up till April 2017 including Inspire Me, Motivate Me and Confess Me arrangements. After the caches were removed, there was still problem with the space, this time they said they didn't know what was blocking the memory of the phone. Although I didn't know yet that my write-ups were gone *sober*.

They now advised me on formatting my phone. Huh! How I run away from that word format, "Is that all you can do?" I asked. They were fully persuaded on that so I told them to back up my contacts. It was whilst we were trying to do that I realized My write-up arrangements were gone. I felt like crying but I knew I had backed up some of them on my memory card. "I would just recover those and write new ones to complete the set till April" I told myself. 

After my contacts were transferred, it was time for the formatting process to take place which took God knows how long to be completed but after that I decided to upgrade my phones software. I beamed with joy on the insides and outside 'cause I knew after going through this processes my phone would feel new and it's not like I won't have my files.

The long wait finally ended after almost 3hours of troubleshooting and repairs. My network was stable, phone felt new and better.

On getting home, I got out the phone from my bag and oh, how I loved the new outlook. "Wow! Is it the same phone I've used for almost three years? How can it feel so new and sleek?"

I told myself it was time to clear out the things I didn't need on my memory card hence my opening the memory card. lo and behold, it was empty! Tears gathered in my eyes as though it had been waiting for this moment ahead of time. I kept on trying to know if there was a mistake somewhere or I wasn't doing something right. The next thing I heard myself say was "Chai! No na!" My memory card was like a treasure, it had e-books, my write-ups, songs, personal recordings, my personal interior jobs, my personal interior designed spaces, pictures, quotes, etc.

At this point the tears started running down my cheeks without me wanting to cry. I had lost everything on my phone and memory card.

It was funny because I didn't have those items in my system. 

Yes! Before you judge me, I have already judged myself.

It doesn't feel good loosing ones work after all the stress and efforts I put in to do them. It was a sad day for me as much as I tried to console myself, I just couldn't comprehend the fact that I lost everything after I took it to professionals. I just told myself to forgive them first and  then move on. 

Here it is, I have to work more now but if it came from the inside, it shouldn't be difficult right?

Lessons from my ordeal:

* In life, something's happen to us that we don't plan for, but that's not the end. We need to get up, dust up ourselves and continue our journey. You can only concede defeat when you lay there and cry over spilt milk you can't recover.

* It's always good to have a written back up of our plans. Most especially for writers and programmers. If I had written them on my journal, I would have just retyped them on my system or my phone.

* Always prepare for anything. This doesn't mean you shouldn't be positive. Be positive but prepare your mind 'cause most times if it doesn't work as we planned, it might break us up. This happens mostly because we don't give room for "if it doesn't work", hence we're unable to bounce back stronger.

*Believe in yourself and your gifting. When you do, it's easier to bounce back better and stronger. All you need do is learn from your past mistake. 

*Even the professionals who "should" have it all figured out sometimes run into murky waters and get either confused or make errors and blunders. As professionals, we should not put our trust totally in our knowledge, certificates and accolades. There's the God factor we need to acknowledge that can keep us far above confusions and terrible mistakes.

* Sometimes, all we need is a 'formatting' of our system to function properly. Our thoughts, the baggage we carry on the inside that slow us down, the anger, hurt, pain, unforgiveness, past bitter experiences etc need to be taken out and then we allow God; the master professional do a cleansing of our system, so that we become brand new for effective functioning.

*Put your trust in God who has embedded that gift in you. He has a reason for doing that. Trust Him enough to know that He gave you inspiration to do the ones you lost, He can give you better inspirations to do better ones than the ones lost.  Proverbs 3:5, Jeremiah 17:7, Psalm 125:1, Psalm 118:8.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts 

Ala O. Wilcox 

ON CONFESS ME THIS WEEK....

I have the right mind, I think right things, I imagine right things, I am better than my yesterday, my today is bright, my tomorrow is brighter. I have the growth mindset, I am a success.

ON THINK ME THIS WEEK

*Your life does not change with circumstances. Change will only come when your mind changes.


*The difference between being successful and being a failure is mentality.


*Your life becomes whatever your mind imagines.


*Your imagination sets the pace for your destination.
David Ibiyeomie

Your Choice: Fixed Mindset or Growth Mindset

The Science of Perseverance: How Your Beliefs Can Strengthen (or Weaken) Your Motivation

BY MICHAELIN MOTIVATION, PERSEVERANCE

Persevere: To persist steadfastly in pursuit of an undertaking, task, journey, or goal, even if hindered by distraction, difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement.

First, the bad news …

When it comes to creating change in your life or achieving your goals, it probably won’t be easy. You may struggle. It’ll likely take longer than you expect. It’s almost certain that you’ll have setbacks and short-term failures along the way. Especially when it involves creating new habits, developing new skills or learning new concepts. This helps explain why most people fail to achieve their New Years’s resolutions.

Now, the good news …

Struggle, setbacks and short-term failures don’t have to drain your motivation. They don’t have to make you want to quit before you’ve put in enough time and effort to reach your goal. In fact, psychologists who study motivation and achievement say it could be just the opposite; as long as you adopt the right mindset.

According to decades of research, there are two fundamental belief systems (mindsets) that determine how people respond to struggle, setbacks and failure when pursuing their goals. In one mindset, you’re likely to get discouraged and give up on your goal. In the other, you tend to embrace the struggle, learn from the setbacks and keep moving forward – you persevere.

Before I tell you more about these two mindsets, I want to share this inspiring, true story about a boy named Stevie.

How Stevie Became a Millionaire, Bestselling Author

His mother called him Stevie. He fancied himself a writer. He wrote his first story before he was old enough to shave. His mother liked it; said it was good enough to be in a book. A few years later, he sent one of his stories to a magazine, hoping to get it published.

Unlike his mother, they rejected it.

Stevie nailed the rejection letter to his bedroom wall and kept writing. By the time he was old enough to drive, he’d replaced the nail with a spike large enough to hold the ream of rejection letters he’d received since the first. Still, he kept writing.

Ten years came and went, along with many more rejection letters.

Stevie – now a struggling, 26-year-old school teacher with a wife and two children – receives a telegram from Doubleday publishing. They tried to call him on the phone, but Stevie and his wife were too broke at the time to afford telephone service. That was about to change though, because the telegram was not another rejection letter.

Doubleday had agreed to publish Stevie’s first novel – a horror story about Carrie White, a teenage girl with telekinetic powers. They paid him a $2500 advance for the book. Not long after, paperback rights to Carrie sold for $400,000, and Stephen King was well on his way to becoming one of the most prolific and successful writers of modern times.

What Ultimately Makes People Successful?

Image source: This is a Book by Demetri Martin

I’m always inspired by stories of how successful writers like Stephen King started out. How they struggled for years. How they endured rejection after rejection, failure after failure, but kept moving forward. Kept honing their craft. Kept chasing their dream.

J.K. Rowling is another fine example. Depressed, practically broke and living on welfare, she was rejected by a dozen publishers before she finally found one to publish her Harry Potter book series. As you probably know, she’s now a multi-millionaire.

Of course, it’s not just famous writers who struggled their way to the top. If you study the background of any successful person in any field, you’ll often see a long road of struggle, setbacks and failure stretching out behind them.

Maybe these people were blessed with raw talent, intelligence, luck or other advantages the rest of us lack. Maybe they weren’t.

In either case, what ultimately made them successful was their choice to keep learning, keep working and keep moving confidently in the direction of their dreams, no matter how hard it got. What ultimately made them successful was their choice to persevere. As you’re about to see, when you adopt the right mindset, that choice becomes much easier to make.

“When we hear about extremely successful people, we mostly hear about their great accomplishments – not about the many mistakes they made and the failures they experienced along the way. In fact, most successful people throughout history are also those who have had the most failures. That is no coincidence. People who achieve great feats, no matter what field, understand that failure is not a stumbling block but a stepping-stone on the road to success. There is no success without risk and failure. We often fail to see this truth because the outcome is more visible than the process—we see the final success and not the many failures that led to it.”

— Tal Ben-Shahar from Choose the Life You Want

Do You Have a Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset?

Click to enlarge.
Fixed Mindset vs Growth Mindset
Created by Nigel Holmes.

What do you believe about human qualities, such as talent, intelligence and creativity?

If you’ve adopted a “fixed mindset,” you view them as qualities that you’re either born with, or not, and there’s not much you can do to change it. On the other hand, if you’ve adopted a “growth mindset,” you see them as abilities that you can develop through education, hard work and practice.

How about character traits like self-discipline, grit and willpower?

With a fixed mindset, you believe traits like these are largely static and predetermined by your genes and upbringing – either you have them or you don’t. Through the lens of a growth mindset, you see them as malleable skills that you can cultivate and strengthen over the course of your life (science proves this to be true, by the way).

This distinction between the fixed mindset and growth mindset emerged from the work of Carol Dweck, Ph.D., and her colleagues. Dr. Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford University, has spent her career studying motivation and achievement. In her bestselling book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, she presents an airtight case that a growth mindset can help strengthen your motivation, even when the going gets tough.

“In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success; without effort. They’re wrong.

“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work … This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.

“Teaching a growth mindset creates motivation and productivity in the worlds of business, education, and sports. It enhances relationships. When you read Mindset, you’ll see how.”

Dr. Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

How the Fixed Mindset Weakens Your Motivation

The human mind is a meaning-making machine. Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re constantly monitoring what’s happening around you, interpreting what it means and deciding what to do about it. This is obviously an important process for your survival, but it’s also the main driver of all your suffering – especially when it’s shaped by the fixed mindset.

When you struggle or fail to achieve your goals, you make that mean something about yourself. In the fixed mindset, it means you’re simply not good enough, or that you somehow don’t have what it takes. For example, have you ever thought or said things like:

• I’m not a math person.
• I’m not creative.
• I’m a procrastinator.
• I’m not good with technology.
• I don’t have any self-discipline.
• It’s hard for me to lose weight.
• I have no talent.
• I’m shy.
• I’m not athletic.
• I’m not a writer.

It’s healthy to acknowledge your limitations and recognize where you can be doing better in your life. But that’s not what’s happening in the fixed mindset.

Remember, the fixed mindset believes that talent and abilities are largely fixed and predetermined – either you have it, or you don’t. If you have what it takes, great. If not, why even bother to try? You might as well give up, and move on to something easier.

Obviously, this is not the kind of thinking that helped Stephen King and J.K. Rowling become bestselling authors. It’s not the kind of thinking that generates motivation to persevere when the going gets tough.

How the Growth Mindset Strengthens Your Motivation

The growth mindset interprets challenge and failure much differently than the fixed mindset. Remember, the core belief of the growth mindset is that human abilities and talents are malleable skills that you can cultivate and strengthen over the course of your life.

The fixed mindset mistakenly views your limitations as permanent. The growth mindset understands they’re just a starting point – guiding stars that tell you where to focus your energy toward personal and professional development.

The growth mindset is an antidote to defeatism. It interprets challenge and failure not as a signal to throw in the towel, but as a natural, healthy part of human growth and achievement.

This may sound like good ole’ fashioned positive thinking, and maybe it is. The difference is these conclusions are based on 40 years of rigorous, scientific research – hundreds of studies that all say the same thing. If you want to strengthen your motivation, achieve your goals and lead a more fulfilling life, you’re best-served by a growth mindset.

Your Choice: Fixed Mindset or Growth Mindset

As I’ve said many times, success rarely comes easily. Anyone who’s ever reached a level of success or made a change in their life had to overcome challenges, setbacks and short-term failures along the way. Some more than others, I’m sure, but ultimately, they all persevered. They all kept moving forward, regardless of the challenges they faced.

You now have a choice regarding how you interpret struggle, setbacks and failure. You can interpret it from a fixed mindset as evidence that you’re somehow not cut out to succeed. Or you can interpret it from a growth mindset as guidance for where to focus your efforts toward personal and professional development.

If you want to protect your motivation, and keep moving forward, always make the growth mindset choice...

Source: https://www.michaeldpollock.com/mindset-motivation-perseverance/

Taking a walk down memory lane....

Taking a walk down memory lane,

I CAN'T REMEMBER

when the nurses said "push! push!" and I popped out of you.

I can't remember when I started sucking breast milk.

I can't remember when I had my first immunization.

I can't remember when my cry at night left you uneasy and because of your love for me you had to breastfeed or bottle feed me, singing and dancing to put me to sleep forgetting about your sleep.

I can't remember when I took Ill as an infant and the only way I could communicate with you was to cry but you somehow instinctively knew what was wrong with the infant me that couldn't even say "mama".

I can't remember when you had to take me to those endless regular checkups just to be sure I grew up healthy.

I can't remember when you took me to God by taking me to church for child dedication.

I can't remember how you went on your knees calling out to the staggering me "My mummy come to me, you can do it" then I start feeling jumpy, laughing and smiling trying to walk to you. All of a sudden am falling down but you catch me before I hurt myself and you go through the process of encouraging me again and again (Chuckles).

I can't remember so many things about my infancy but I can imagine what you would have gone through being that I didn't like eating too.

BUT

I remember you feeding me at a very tender age.

I remember you teaching me how to say words and speak.

I remember you celebrating my birthdays no matter how little it was inorder to make me feel special.

I remember your kisses and pecks.

I remember you teaching me how to pray.

I remember you giving me medications.

I remember how I fell ill often as a little girl but you always took me to the hospital and cared for me like no one will.

I remember how you flogged me for taking what was not mine and asking me to return it and say sorry even if I picked it up by mistake.

I remember how you will tell me "kneel down over there, raise up your hands and close your eyes" when a neighbour has any ill report of me whether it was true or not you just disciplined me before you even asked what happened.

I remember you telling me "come on, open your hands" then you will go, lash! One, lash! Two, lash! Three.... "will you do it again?" With tears in my eyes, I'll say "no, I won't"

I remember when they drive me away from school for not paying my fees, I come back home crying, you'll clean my eyes and tell me not to worry then you pick up some of your treasured items like gold, brocade, lace or your Italian stiletto shoes to go sell and in a few days am back to school.

I remember you giving birth to my cute little sister and taking care of her like an egg.

I remember how you sometimes backed my sister on our way home from church and carrying me at intervals when you didn't have enough to pay the fare.

I remember you teaching me how to cook, clean, wash and change diapers.


DOWN TO MY TEENAGE DAYS

I remember you telling me "Onyeka, I don't want to see you with that girl/boy again" and I'll say "yes mummy" with slight anger inside. In some cases, I listened, in some other cases, I went ahead to follow the person and I always got what I deserved for being disobedient. Coming back to you, you will scold me but still advice me.

I remember you painstakingly go through any possible stress to make sure I learnt what I said I wanted to learn.

I remember not seeing my mensuration for 2 months then you called me and asked me "Onyeka, when last did you see your menses? Are you pregnant? Did anybody touch you? Are you sure? We would go see a doctor tomorrow morning". (Meanwhile I was extremely happy I wasn't because it was two months of not having excruciating pains but that ended as the next day it came and you where thankful).

I remember you sleeping with me in the hospital through out the days I had to be there when I had my emergency appendicitis operation.

I remember your advice on relationships.

I remember your sex education segment.

I remember your advice on putting God first in everything.

I remember how you always encouraged me and still encourage me when am at the verge of giving up.

I remember your endless nights of prayers for me till tomorrow.


I KNOW

I can be really tough sometimes, wanting a logical explanation to some of your instinctive advices.

I know I can be really defensive sometimes.

I know I can be overbearing sometimes.


 BUT IN ALL,

I know you are my mum and I know you love me.


Thanks for the lashes.

Thanks for the advice.

Thanks for the yelling.

Thanks for the teachings.

Thanks for the care.

Thanks for the prayers.

Thanks for everything cause it made me and my sister better, homely and virtuous.


I just want to say, I LOVE YOU MUM.
Happy Birthday To You Super Mum.
GOD BLESS YOU.


I rest my case.

My Thoughts.


Ala O. Wilcox.