I held myself somuch not to write about this, but I had to anyway.
On this very beautiful Saturday morning, as I prepared for the training I was to attend, I had lost interest in the pre planned cloth I was to wear and I was looking out for something that I would be relaxed in for the day, based on my mood. Alas! I saw this over five years short native gown I wear once in a while. That was my comfy outfit according to my mood and I just ironed and rocked it.
Enroute my destination, while I walked down the road, I realized the gown wasn't staying in position. It always shifted away from the regular line, thereby making the dress feel tighter than usual and it made it look hotter too and uncomfortable. I had to make an extra effort to hold a part of the dress firmly while I walked to reduce the rate at which it tightened.
As usual, many cars stopped to either say hello, or attempt to collect number or just slow down, smiled and zoomed off. I'm a very shy person, especially when toomuch attention is on me while walking but I managed through the long frequent walks at different stops.
Few weeks before that day, I wore an above the knee skirt (not necessarily short), and this same occurrence happened and I was wondering why that day. But this gown version brought my attention to my inner wear. One of the tights I bought recently while I was changing the old ones was a material that seemed slippery and of course elastic. The bottom line is that the surface was slippery therefore it affected the outer clothes I wore.
How didn't I take note of this earlier? I asked myself. It just got me thinking about how much we pay attention to the outside of a thing and not pay full attention to the inner. Forgetting the inner can distort the outer at some point.
It's just like painting a house that has damp issues, after a short while, the inner issue (dampness)will surface to the outside and reveal that there is a problem that has not been sorted out inwardly.
Ponder on, and pay attention to those things you know you need to change on the inside. It's not good enough to look all glam, orderly and perfect on the outside whilst your inside is wailing for a change or an adjustment to function better.
If you don't pay attention to what you wear under, your outer wear, though looks perfect now, will shift like the shift dress, and reveal there is something is wrong on the inside.
Nothing is truly hidden under the sun.
A word is enough for the wise.
My Thoughts.
Ala Wilcox.
#alawilcoxblog #shiftdress #innerwear #attention
I woke up some days back feeling a little pissed. I was out of airtime and data and needed to respond to some prospective clients, and I had a deadline for something that was tied to finance but all my plans weren't just making headway.
After our family prayers my mum and sister saw my demeanor and started beckoning to me to be happy and not to worry. This was almost like rubbing salt on injury and I was almost infuriated, but then again, they know how to make me laugh even when I'm upset.😄
At some point, I said I wasn't angry, but I was just a little unsatisfied with the results I'm getting with the kind of work and sacrifice I put in. My dear, I saw myself recalling two or three incidents of why I think God should not let me go through some level of difficulties, then as I was speaking, I heard in my heart, "you are complaining, why not thank me for what you are expecting." My sister now crowned it by saying, 'a thousand years to us is like a second before God.' I just whispered, "Lord I am sorry." As I had my bath, I was intentionally putting words of Thanksgiving in my mouth as my mind was bringing facts to my mind step. It was more like for every fact, I thanked God for the positivity of the situation. As I left the house that day, I felt light.
As I prayed that night while everyone was sleeping, I was thanking God for doing mind blowing things because he does it amazingly, and pictures of testimonies of other people started flooding my mind and mine too. Then there was one that continues to amaze me anytime I remember it.
There was a particular day about 3 years ago, when my family and I had accommodation issues and I had absolutely nothing (no shishi or kobo) on me. It was almost like we had our last supper and were waiting for the day miracle would happen, because it was not like we had enough to eat that day. I personally had to form like I wasn't too hungry to allow mum and sis eat more, then after that meal, I said out loud, "God, You are there in heaven, na your hand I dey, show working o", then I took a shower and prepared to sleep.
I received a call from someone who stayed around where we were holding out and I reluctantly gave my number (I have known him as a person for years but was never close to him). The real Ala would never pick that call up because she has showered and it was to 10 pm but, I had a nudge to take it. We talked for a few minutes and he pleaded with me to come downstairs. I DRAGGED myself into wearing something and going downstairs. He first requested I picked up something to eat from the close by shop, and I said I wasn't hungry, but he insisted I take something at least a pack of juice and fresh bread. I can't even remember if I agreed to. As I mentioned that I needed to go up since it was already late, he put money in my hands. I said thank you and went upstairs, I counted N6,000. Guess what? N3,000 was needed for my sis' school, and I practically had nothing to give her, let alone what we could eat. God eventually made a way through a supposed stranger I never thought or imagined He would use.
This is to you out there who sometimes is likely thinking God has forgotten about you. HE HAS NOT AND HE NEVER WILL. LEARN TO TRUST GOD even when facts tell you otherwise.
2020 will be lit if you learn to trust Him, worship Him, Put Him first, listen and PRAY heartily/sincerely to Him.
Ala O. WILCOX
Remember when you read stories as a little child. There were images on almost every page and it made you imagine and bring the stories to life.
It was always amazing when I read or was told the story of the tortoise climbing down the rope from the food spot high in the sky.😄 The part my aunt who took care of me as a little child used to deceive me was the story of the tortoise not wanting people to ear, so he puts a lot of pepper in the buffet for the feast and tells the other animals not to do 'sssha' or drink water, cause anyone who did wouldn't eat anymore. But he always did what he told them not to do as a reminder, but in actual sense, he was doing it to relieve himself the hotness of the spice.
I loved noodles so much and didn't know how to eat. Eventually, that was the only meal you wouldn't force me to eat. My aunt also loved it, so she always put a lot of pepper and told me the story, and also deceitfully did what the tortoise used to do but me I'll be keeping up the pace without having water or doing 'sssha' till I managed to finish what was on my plate. That was how my love for pepper started.
When I was told these stories, I practically imagined them happening in my mind. It made them real, and it made me relate with the stories better. As a teenager who loved reading, same thing happened with all the books I read.
But I realized that having clear imaginations can be very difficult these days because we have so much noise. This brings me down to when I want to have a quiet time, it used to be smooth, but overtime, I realized that there were lots of distractions. I'm sure I'm not alone on this table.
Have you ever wanted to study your bible with your phone, and you need your data to access some information online, then notifications start beeping in? You ignore for a while then you don't even realise when you decide to read a message while you're still studying? Sometimes you're distracted mentally by your itinerary. 🤦♀️
I struggled with this a while, and I started asking The Holy Spirit to help me. Guess what? I was reminded of making mental images. I did as a child so why can't I now? Trust me, this has helped me a lot since I got this answer.
• Try reading and creating mental images of scriptures you read.
• Try singing and reminding yourself of past victories.
• Mental images are so powerful cause they make things we can't literally feel or see to become real.
I'm taking an instance of scriptures and worship, but it cuts across everything including your dreams.
If you can think it (see it in your mind), you can get it and you can become it.
Let's go back to when worship was without beeps of notifications. Let's go back to how it was before distractions.
My Thoughts.
Ala O. Wilcox.
#alawilcoxblog #beforedistractions #focus #mentalimages #life #solution
Forgive: to stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake; to no longer feel angry about or wish to punish (an offence, flaw, or mistake).
Since the last time I said I was going to post on my blog; I've been having a nudge to write on forgiveness and I've not been able to write about any other thing.
I've been holding back, because, you know me na, I don't have any form of shyness when it comes to revealing something about me that will teach another person to be and do better and I'm a shy person that is not shy.🤭
Soooooo, 2019 was my year to forgive. I call it that because a few persons I trusted hurt me so much that it was almost necessary to disgrace them.😄 It wasn't funny sha o.
So I process things a lot and I'm not a hasty decision maker, but when I make up my mind, forget it. Only God can fit....😉
Yes, I was hurt, but I knew the only way I could undo the hurt was to forgive. The question was then, "how do I forgive the way God would want me to?" Trust me, I have forgiven in the past, somuch that sometimes I forget how much they hurt me, but my mum would always keep me in check. And I'm grateful for that because forgiveness comes with knowing your place, worth and value with whow you have forgiven.
Anyways, this past year forgiveness was on another level. Betrayal 001, on every level. The tablet was extremely bitter to chew, but I knew I had to take it.
So, I decided to take on prayers for myself to let it go, because truth is, only God can help you let go of some things that hurt you.
I remember sleeping that night crying bitterly, asking God why good people are vulnerable to people who betray them because of their decision to trust.
My dear, as I woke up the next morning, I was heavy and I couldn't hold the tears, it took the best of me.😭😭😭😭 Guess what I heard strongly in my spirit? PRAY FOR THEM FOR 10DAYS. I was led to write some prayer points on my prayer journal that morning and it shocked me that they all had to do with blessing these individuals who hurt me and praying for their true salvation. Chai!!😢🙆♀️ Lord it's not fair this thing you're telling me to do o. I want to pray for myself rather, you are instructing me to pray for them, morning and night. Welldone sir.
I eventually embarked on that journey of prayer and everytime I did, I cried my heart out. But from the 4th day, I realized I wasn't as touchy as I used to be, and before the 10th day, I was all free. Peace unfathomable. I found out that when I came in contact with them, I just pitied them for their naivety. They feel guilty (I suppose), but they can't say. As for me, I have moved on with my life with peace. Till tomorrow they always have this defensive attitude when I'm around but me I just laugh.
A few persons that know the whole story always say to me, "Ala, i don't know how you do it", but I always tell them, it's not just Ala, it's the Holyspirit.
Have you been hurt so deeply and badly by the people you trust? Are you caught in the web of anger when you see/remember/hear some persons because of what they did to you? If you search deep down, and you realize that you are living in unforgiveness, you have to ask The Holyspirit to help you let it go.
I know this is for someone out here.
Forgive! Let it go! Forget! It's for your sanity.
BUT, forgiving and forgetting doesn't mean you shouldn't be wise enough to remember the place of the ones you have forgiven.
As for the stories behind this write up, in due time, if I'm led to, I would share. I'm not promising though, but sha, forgive.😉
And if you've been hurt and you find it difficult to scale through, or you have a forgiveness story and you wouldn't mind sharing how you forgave, please share with me via alaowilcox@gmail.com.
▪︎ Ala O. Wilcox
#alawilcoxblog #thejourney #forgiveness #blog #peace #tranquility #forget
My body was doing me skweskwe that period. Skweskwe is a way of me saying 'have sex, have sex'. 😁Please don't come and ask me this question in person, I'm shy🙄.
So since it was doing me like that, I needed to talk to someone to find out when was safe and unsafe for me and there was no better person than a sisi that was in the game regularly to give me the information I needed. Especially as google was not our well known friend that year.
The chikala I asked told me, 7 days before and 7 days after menstruation were my protected days. I struggled somuch in my heart and I could not ask my friends in school then before they will judge me like I'm not a girl with hormones.🙄
It came to mind to visit Cee that period. She wasn't a perfect girl, she even slept with a few married men to keep up with her bills (life hard sha), but she was real. To my utmost surprise, she gave me the warning of my life and told me outrightly that she will unfriend me if I do it. Cee reminded me of my values and the fact that it wasn't worth it. She talked sense into my head that night in such a way that when I left her house the next morning, my hormones received enough sense for another few months.
Do you have a friend like Cee who will tell you as it is even when she has an opportunity to get you into the game she's into?
Are you a friend like Cee who has made wrong choices or perhaps, circumstances have made you make wrong choices, but you're willing to tell the truth to the other person who wants to get into what you know is wrong?
Would you want people to feel the pain you feel/felt from the wrong choices you made or would you prefer to tell them as it is and dissuade them from making some/same mistakes you made?
🤔
Search yourself today. Be a friend like/better than Cee, and this world would be a more habitable place.
By the way, Christmas is loading.💃🏽💃🏽 This is an intentional message.😊
My Thoughts
Ala O. Wilcox
#skweskwe #cee #goodfriend #relationships #choices #decisions
I really don't like to say I'm sorry.😏
Please wait! Before you judge me, read to the end.
I'm sorry is just three words coined into two words. Is it really a big deal to say it when I'm wrong? No, not at all. But must I say it? No too. It's my choice to or not to. Must I justify why I shouldn't say it? Not really, but I will, to you.
'I'm sorry' you will agree can be one of the shortest but most difficult words for some people to say, especially when they are wrong. Why wouldn't they honestly say sorry when they are at fault? I believe ego and pride, but you might have another or other opinions.
However, there are some people that find it very easy to say it, but they never mean it. In my opinion, I think most times that this set of people are crafty and deceitful. That might not be the case too.
I started with "I don't like to say I'm sorry" and I'm sure your question is why?
It's simply because I always think that I can do the right thing and receive a thank you, a smile or a warm gaze or hug rather than weaken my chances of building trust. It doesn't mean I should or can be perfect o. It means I should discipline myself enough to always do what is right and keep to my words which inturn makes me a person of integrity.
Many times, we use the availability of the word 'I'm sorry' as a yardstick to not be accountable. Sometimes we are even genuine about it, but in our subconscious, we have created an excuse of 'I'm sorry'.
I want to keep this as short as possible and I can't explain everything, but I believe that if you read, reread and brood on this, you will have a deeper understanding of why I really don't like to say 'I'm sorry'.
My Thoughts.
ALA O. WILCOX
#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #Imsorry #unlike #understand #why #dontjudge
😂😂Let me give you gist of what this meme reminds me of.
So there was this guy that liked me and I was beginning to like back.😊 He was very real that I was attracted to his realness. I don't like people that form like they are perfect.
Rewind to a relationship I was in where the guy was always packaging to be what he was not, and was upset and felt disrespected when I said things like 'Hey love'. 😥Hey is supposed to be an informal way of saying 'hi'. Farting before him was gross and talking to him from the toilet was a no no. My dear, me sef I tired* for the matter.🤦♀️
Fast forward to the second official day of hangout with this uncle I was beginning to like, I farted.😰🤦♀️
See ehn, when my entire system is comfortable with you ehn, the system will just want to embarrass me for nothing.😓
It was telling him 'I like you bro', and the guy started laughing and said 'you cannot even form for me small sef'. I told him the world is too serious for me to be forming. The laughter we shared after that supposed embarrassing moment made me know we could be very good friends.
PS: My fart does not smell, it just wants to test you by embarrassing me.😂🤣
For those thinking that this is a love story, calm down. Na only likeness and friendship.😉🙄
Anyways, I hope I didn't fart too soon?😥 And please don't judge me.🤭
Ala O. Wilcox
Photo credit @twitter
#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #fart #relationships #relationshipgoals
