I Really Don't Like To Say 'I'M SORRY'

I really don't like to say I'm sorry.😏
Please wait! Before you judge me, read to the end.

I'm sorry is just three words coined into two words. Is it really a big deal to say it when I'm wrong? No, not at all. But must I say it? No too. It's my choice to or not to. Must I justify why I shouldn't say it? Not really, but I will, to you.

'I'm sorry' you will agree can be one of the shortest but most difficult words for some people to say, especially when they are wrong. Why wouldn't they honestly say sorry when they are at fault? I believe ego and pride, but you might have another or other opinions.
However, there are some people that find it very easy to say it, but they never mean it. In my opinion, I think most times that this set of people are crafty and deceitful. That might not be the case too.

I started with "I don't like to say I'm sorry" and I'm sure your question is why?
It's simply because I always think that I can do the right thing and receive a thank you, a smile or a warm gaze or hug rather than weaken my chances of building trust. It doesn't mean I should or can be perfect o. It means I should discipline myself enough to always do what is right and keep to my words which inturn makes me a person of integrity.

Many times, we use the availability of the word 'I'm sorry' as a yardstick to not be accountable. Sometimes we are even genuine about it, but in our subconscious, we have created an excuse of 'I'm sorry'.

I want to keep this as short as possible and I can't explain everything, but I believe that if you read, reread and brood on this, you will have a deeper understanding of why I really don't like to say 'I'm sorry'.

My Thoughts.

ALA O. WILCOX

#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #Imsorry #unlike #understand #why #dontjudge

I Hope It's Not Too Soon?🤭🙄

😂😂Let me give you gist of what this meme reminds me of.

So there was this guy that liked me and I was beginning to like back.😊 He was very real that I was attracted to his realness. I don't like people that form like they are perfect.

Rewind to a relationship I was in where the guy was always packaging to be what he was not, and was upset and felt disrespected when I said things like 'Hey love'. 😥Hey is supposed to be an informal way of saying 'hi'. Farting before him was gross and talking to him from the toilet was a no no. My dear, me sef I tired* for the matter.🤦‍♀️

Fast forward to the second official day of hangout with this uncle I was beginning to like, I farted.😰🤦‍♀️
See ehn, when my entire system is comfortable with you ehn, the system will just want to embarrass me for nothing.😓
It was telling him 'I like you bro', and the guy started laughing and said 'you cannot even form for me small sef'. I told him the world is too serious for me to be forming. The laughter we shared after that supposed embarrassing moment made me know we could be very good friends.

PS: My fart does not smell, it just wants to test you by embarrassing me.😂🤣
For those thinking that this is a love story, calm down. Na only likeness and friendship.😉🙄

Anyways, I hope I didn't fart too soon?😥 And please don't judge me.🤭

Ala O. Wilcox 

Photo credit @twitter
#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #fart #relationships #relationshipgoals 

CANOEING

As we started sailing in the canoe, the sailor said "the water is 2.9m deep, there are crocodiles, tiger fish,..." that's when I stopped hearing o.
Any pim, and we fall into this water, I will be in a water that is as deep as the floor to ceiling of a house after its tiled and roofed. I also stand the danger of being eaten by a croco.... and/tiger ....🙆‍♀️ I sat as still as I could.😂

But then again, I came on this sail not to be scared but to do something different and do it differently. Guess what? I told the sailor to take me on a second trip, took a selfie and sat smiling and smelling nature.😊😊🥰

As you step into this week, things might look like they are pressing on you, it might seem like your year would not end well, it might also look like if you embark on this sail, you will fall into crocodiles and you stand a chance to be drowned or eaten, you might be unsure about the end. But, never forget that with the right thoughts, attitude and with God, everything will be fine. You will come out fine and unscathed from the midst of the storm.
Trust God.😊🙏
Smile.😊

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #copyright #boat #canoe #ride #smile #inspire 

PAPCREAM GOODNESS ...you can never guess.😜

As a young teenager, I loved packaging. Food was never my thing, no wonder my dad didn't miss sending Complant and my mum made sure I didn't miss taking it for 2 years. This was sha a digress to let you know I was once slim.😋 Let me jejely digress back.

So as someone who didn't like to eat and really loved good packaging, I had gotten small amount of likeness for pap/ogi/ (you can add you dialects rendition), and I loved it thick with lots of milk in it, preferably powdered and liquid milk.😉
My packaging intuition now made me use one of those icecream cups that takes a good amount of icecream to pour my pap in, and the creative part made me put it in the fridge for a few minutes (I really don't like very hot food), then I served myself with liquid peak milk using an icecream spoon to enjoy the sweetheart goodness.🤭
As I went out on the balcony on the first floor of my grand dad's house, I took some coconut biscuit alongside and sat on the long stool. I enjoyed my newly packaged papcream goodness like it was the best thing that was happening to me and I attracted interested neighbours who wanted to enjoy what I was enjoying.

Eventually, one of my friends had to climb the high stone seat slab that was made for seating on the ground floor and was trying to stretch his hands to reach the first floor to collect my papcream goodness thinking it was icecream. He was actually begging me for it, and I told him the original content, but he assumed I was lying and didn't want to share, so I had to go downstairs and let him take a spoon for him to believe me. 😂😄🤭
He was a little bit disappointed at me deceiving him but I had told him the truth and he refused to believe till he confirmed it for himself and that was not my gbese. Laslas, he loved my papcream goodness, so we had it together.😄 To me, this was a win win situation.

Why did I bring this my papcream goodness story?
There are negative and positive sides to it.
I realized that in my generation, so many people are so mesmerized with packaging that they have taken the wrong route by pretending to be what they are not, therefore losing their true identities and picking up an identity they have no background clue about.

But still, I see through this that my generation can package for the love of wanting to stand out and not lose their identity.
Whether we like it or not, we really do not want to share the worst of us out there, but in the midst of not sharing the worst, we can still be true to who we are.

Imagine my papcream goodness was not worth the stress of my friend trying to stretch himself to reach the first floor's balcony from the ground floor, and I lied that it was actual icecream? He would have termed me a fraud and he certainly would not believe anything I say after that day.

We should understand that whatever we do, whether packaging, preferring false image to others, living fake lives, being a person of integrity and living a life of humility, it has a ripple effect on others and on us. It gives people a perception of who we are and that perception either helps us grow or fail.
What ripple effect do you want served?
Think about it and make your choice today.

There are so many other lessons but I'll leave you to read, think through and share. As for me, I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox

#alawilcoxblog #AlaWilcox #blogger #papcreamgoodness #milk #sweetness #ripple #goodness #lessons #share #choices

Uncle Deacon & Judge People

"I'm a deacon in church" he said to Kehinde. She was surprised at the effontery he was using to say it. How can this man be so proud of being a deacon when he is actually doing the wrong thing? The matter just tire the girl at that moment.
As much as she was surprised, she still respected him and only shared the conversation that transpired between them to her friend Bode. Bode was furious and wanted to go confront the deacon, but she pleaded and persuaded him not to. "People are growing differently in the body of faith", she said to him.

Kehinde, a sanguine. She laughed so hard at everything that seemed funny, including her blunders. As a free-spirited and loveable person, she loved everyone, tried to judge no one and lived her life like there was no evil existing in the world. Her mother always warned her about being too free spirited and over trusting people, but everything fell on deaf ears.

As a girl who was free-spirited, she didn't have anything to hide. Her thoughts were, rather than pretend and show people what you want them to see, do everything in plain sight and allow God and you be the judge of you. She wasn't a pretentious or hypocritical person, and she had nothing to hide.
As good as she was, church people aka judge people termed her as bad.
She grew up wearing short skirts and was comfortable in them. She was a semi tomboy so she hung out with guys more. She had friends who were in and outside of church and she blended well with all of them but set boundaries so her friends respected her for who she was.

Guess what? They judged her because of short skirt suits and her affiliations with more guys than girls. They termed her the girl who influenced her age mates for doing wrong. Meanwhile in the course of her mingling with other church people her age, she realized that many of them were pretentious and act what they are not and
don't mean. "Anyways, it's not my business. Everyone should carry their cross.", she always told herself when she thought about it.

As a young adolescent growing into adulthood, she expected her teachers to see her for who she really is, not judge her, and love her as she is, the way she doesn't judge others. But, it was a different scenario. They saw her as the rotten egg. They tried to spoil her name and reputation for being plain.

Meanwhile, a youth Pastor told her one day he came to visit her in school "come let's go and have sex in a hotel". As mad as she was, she still put him straight with respect. But judge people were calling the guy and warning him to stay away from her cause she is temptation.
Kehinde got every information straight from Pastor Chukwudi's mouth because after her straightening him, his respect for her grew and they became genuine friends.

****
There are many girls and boys like Kehinde and there are many christians like judge people. My word to the Kehinde's is, don't let the rot and ingenuity of some judge people unchurch you. Stay true to you and to God. We don't do what we do to please men but to please God. Continue to grow strong in your relationship with Him and see yourself grow beyond levels you ever thought you would.

As for some judge people who are the holiest and only sanctified people without faults, understand that your actions can either keep people in faith or take them out of faith. Not every believer is like Kehinde that will stick through the preying eyes and tongues of people who should show her love. I've seen many young and older people leave serving and sometimes leave the church because of how we handle them and judge them.

I pray God helps us all to understand that God is love and we should all love, correct in love, talk in love and chastise in love. At the end of the day, love, I believe is the only way we can change the world around us.

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #uncledeacon #judgepeople #churchpeople #churched #dechurched #unchurch 

TEARFUL😢 THOUGHTS

Have you ever asked yourself why do bad things always happen to the good me?

I used to be very naïve with trusting people while I was growing up. I felt that because my mind could not phantom being envious of someone, or jealous of ones gifting or gifts (in every form), or because I didn't understand how and why I should take what is not mine without permission, everyone else was like that.

I'm not saying I'm perfect o. There were days I wished I could have what somebody had and there were days I felt that person didnt deserve what the person had or has, but I always snapped myself out of it and came back to reality that it was not mine and there was a reason God allowed whoever had what to have it.
So in my naïve mind, everyone could control their feelings the way I did.

My most naïve innocent thoughts were for church people.🤦‍♀️💆‍♀️ I always felt that the words they heard, somehow made changes to them and they should just know some things.
I was the girl in church that people could be doing underground things but I would never suspect. Why? Because I trusted that they knew what, was right and should live by what they knew.
I was always the one who would know what would have happened when 'water don pass garri'. It made no difference to my thoughts, though.

I grew up seeing people hurt my mum but my mum didn't train me to be nasty to them and I didn't allow that blur my love for the people that hurt her. Instill went on errands for them and greeted them genuinely. When I got of age to say my mind, I confronted them, got the beating of my life and will still be ok with them.

Mum warned me about my over trusting, but I wasn't listening, until people started revealing their identities. I was the sanguine teenager. Always laughing, very friendly, overtly open to everyone but the people I trusted most would 'finish me' like mortal combat will say.
People lied about me, carried wrong rumours of me, stole from me, envied me and still hugged and smiled at me, etc.

When the scale started falling from my eyes, I became too careful not to fall into the trap so much that it was difficult to make friends. When I did, I wasn't willing to be extremely close to the point of becoming besties.

I thought that was the solution but then again, humans remain humans and you literally can't make people become who you think they should be, but your actions and inactions can influence them to want to be a better version of themselves.
I've been severely hurt emotionally, psychologically, physically, mentally, spiritually, especially by Christian's, but I found out that God has taken me through the path of forgiveness and accommodating the people who hurt me to the point that I feel like it's hurting me.

There are many days and nights I cry and tell God, "please can I just react to this one? It hurts too badly and I am human too." But deep down I only get the nudge to use peace. And as time goes on, I realize that God has used that to help me see the good in people, no matter how bad they seem to be.
Please don't get it twisted, I don't tolerate everything, but somewhere in my heart, there's always a place of 'there could be a better version of this person.' Anyone who knows me well would know that I can be a very critical person but it doesn't stop me from seeing the best and wishing for the best in people.

I've learnt to be open to the possibilities of having a better world with better people, but I'm still learning cause some pain can be nerve cracking and smile stealing. I know God is using every situation to mould me into 'the me' He has already crafted/planned for the future.

Don't miss the lessons in your good, bad, ugly moments. Trust your process. And your reaction could be the driving force to the transformation that should occur.

My tearful thoughts.
ALA O. WILCOX

#AlaWilcox #alawilcoxblog #thoughts #reality #hope #people #lessons

ME, YOU, WE.

I was just thinking about this lines in the national anthem and pledge "To serve our fatherland with love and strength and faith...To be faithful, loyal and honest...and uphold her honor and glory, so help me God."

Our dear beautiful country Nigeria belongs to none other than us, be it that you have dual citizenship or not, Nigeria is ours and ours alone.

I watch when people talk less of our leaders, talk less of the nation, etc, they forget that as they do that, they talk less of themselves indirectly. 

We always say children are the future of tomorrow but we feed this so-called children with information that will make them be less than the future. 

We talk about corruption like we are perfect. I always ask people that have a lot to say about governance "if you were the one what would you have done differently?"

The answers are almost always the same, the same things we were told during campaigns. 

What makes you feel you will do better and not less? Like they always say you wouldn't know where it hurts till you wear the shoes (we can visibly see that now). I am not a political person neither am I talking politics, am talking governance. 

I think governance is not just handled by our leaders, we are part of it in every sphere we find ourselves in. Have you taken bribe or paid bribe? Have you short changed your client? Have you lied about a situation to save your corporate image? Have you written the wrong time you came to work on that register? Have you tried to take advantage of someone you are superior to? If your answers are YES, you need to work on answering NO to all this questions at all times your asked it. 

You're not even governing right in the small capacity you have been fixed in and you sit from morning till night complaining. 

Serve your country by being a good example to the younger generation. 

🚨🚨

The only thing we can do to change the corrupt system is not by complaining but by being the agents of change ourselves in our families, churches, schools, offices, etc.

If you say wrong of your country, people from other countries will call our country fantastically corrupt but if you're positive about your country, they will respect your country. 

Don't think other countries are void of corruption, it's everywhere, we just portray ours in the open and get what we deserve for not respecting the "labors of our heroes past". 

Enough has been said. 

🚨🚨🚨

My point is that we should not complain, we should be the agents of positive change in Nigeria. Be positive about Nigeria, pray for Nigeria. 

God bless Nigeria. 

I rest my case.

My Thoughts

Ala O. Wilcox

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