THOUGHTS 80 *It Mustn't Be The Same*

I realized that my thoughts or line of thoughts might not be well understood by another or seen in the same light as I see it. This doesn't mean the person is bad or terrible; it just means the person is wired to think differently than I will. 
In some situations, you both want to say the same thing, but you say it from different perspectives and might not understand it the same way but you all want the best. 

I learnt that we can't judge people based on this, argue or go into conflict when we can actually find a common ground to use both our sides to make a stronger bond, foundation or ground. 
Sometimes we have to agree to disagree to agree. 

My thoughts are not your thoughts; your thoughts are not mine but if we bring the positives from our thoughts on a particular thing, we can create great synergy to conquer anything. 

Think about it. 

My Thoughts. 

©ALA ONYEKA WILCOX

#alawilcoxblog #alawilcox #mythoughts #no80 #itmustnotbethesame #blog

choKED

I was so thirsty the other day that I hurriedly went into the fridge to get a bottle of water but as I gulped the water, I got choked to the point I coughed endlessly for over two minutes. I just allowed a few minutes to pass after which I continued drinking the water. While I was drinking this time, something came in mind that made me smile.

Before I share that thought, let me ask you a few questions. Have you ever drunk water, and you got choked in the process of trying to quench your thirst? Did you stop drinking the water after you had had a long time of coughing or did you allow time to pass to drink more water to quench your thirst? Did you stop drinking water totally because you're scared it could choke you to death one day?

I’m sure the answer to my first question might be ‘yes’ or ‘no.’If it’s no, you can’t say it won’t occur before your time on earth ends. As for the answer to my last two questions, I’m very sure it’s ‘no.’It isn’t new to the fact that no human can survive without water.

Here’s the drill. Have you ever had a goal or dream to be or do something but because you failed the first time you tried, or you saw people who tried fail, or you're scared of even trying, or you just can’t take the step of trying because you feel inadequate to achieve it and so many other reasons, you stop putting down those goals and stop dreaming?

I see you who stop to the human who gets choked while quenching their thirst with water and decided not to have a drink of water forever because you're scared you might choke to death one day, forgetting that water is a Can't-do-without to survive on earth.

In this light, I’ll like you to see those goals and dreams to do, be or do a particular thing that will be beneficial to someone other than you as the water you can’t do without as it fuels your reason for existence here on earth. Take up that dream/goal (water) and run with it (Keep drinking.) For it will help resolve your purpose here on earth (thirst).

There are many more lessons to this but I’ll leave your mind to work it out.

My Thoughts

©Ala O. Wilcox 

#alawilcox #alawilcoxblog #choked #water #goals #dreams #lessons 

A PIECE OF ME?

Sitting down in that hotel room and thinking why I was there in the first place was not what pissed me off, but that I came with the anticipation of getting a gift and meeting what I met was just the peak for me.

So, it started from a few days ago; I received a call from my sister that we received a letter. I was a little uneasy when she said so because our rent was due and the money we had earlier gathered went into the treatment of our late granddad but we tried paying half and the landlord refused.

Anyways, it was a letter to vacate the house in 7 days. Mehn! This wasn't easy at all, but we decided to try family. E no work o! The person we thought would accommodate us till we got ourselves, bounced us, after the plenty sacrifices I know my mum made for the person in the past. Finally sha, God made a way, but it was very uncomfortable and this was just about nine days to my birthday.

Fast forward to a day to my birthday when I received a call from one of my senior friends, who said I should stop by the hotel he usually has business meetings in for my birthday gift. I gladly dropped my bag off at church and hurriedly went to collect the gift as I had an all-night rehearsal.

It was very unusual for me to be directed to a room to meet with him, but his PA was always with him so I was not fussed.

As I entered the room, everything was normal, so I excitedly waited to receive my first gift for the new year of my life, but on the contrary, uncle brought out N300k in cash and said I should sleep with him and I should consider the fact that I had rent issues.

My rent was 250k, but "would I lose my value before this man because of rent?" I asked myself. He eventually topped the money till it got above N800k but I declined on every addition.

Something in me told me I was stupid like some of you are saying right now in your hearts. Another thing told me I was right, and I was stronger than this. After so much struggle and shenanigans, I left the room angry, heartbroken and happy at the same time.

I was angry because I felt I would have avoided this incident by not going in the first place. I was angry that people could think they can use your weakness to get you to do their will. I was heartbroken that someone thought so lowly of me by trying to buy my body because of my pressing need for a roof over my head. I was proud and happy that I had the courage to say ‘no’ especially in this trying time of my life.

It had taken me a few days before I was able to share the story with my mum and sister who were in the sad/happy mode after we had moved out.

Why did I share this piece of me?

It’s definitely not for reasons of bragging the title "strong-willed or the most modest girl", I am actually a work in progress. But it is to tell that the girl out there, going through this and any kind of demeaning challenge to hold on to her values. I realized that you will become stronger when you pass that phase of temptation. There's nothing worth more than knowing who you are and realizing who you ought to be and giving yourself that respect the society wouldn't give you.

Yes, you might have made the mistake of devaluing yourself by giving yourself away to a person that doesn't know your worth just for what they have to offer you, but you can understand your value and start saying no to being devalued today. You will never understand how good you will feel on the inside and on the outside when you say no.

Never be too hard on yourself, never judge or condemn yourself because of your past. At the end of the day, yesterday remains in the past and today will become yesterday by tomorrow, so, work on making your tomorrow more valuable by taking the decision of seeing you as a person of worth with value. If you don't see you as priceless, no one will.

Guys, you're not left out of this (winks).

To be continued…

My Thoughts

©ALA O. WILCOX

#mythoughts #alawilcoxblog #apieceofme #experience #lifelessons #real)

THE INEVITABLE

Talking about people is inevitable. Whether you like it or not, you would have talked about someone without planning to but it might happen as a result of wanting to make a point, an argument of what is said to be true or untrue, or an example. The issue is not talking, it's why and how you are talking about them.
#alawilcoxblog #inevitable #talk #story #gossip #change #transfomation


So someone comes to me and tries to say or says something ill about another person, I always ask, what if the story is not as you heard or the supposed person has a reason or has done what he/she did for a reason that can’t be explained? Usually, when I come from this angle, the storyteller is thrown off balance and the topic is changed after a lesson would have been taught.

Another angle I come from is, asking questions that ought to lead me to the source of the story. The storyteller gets uncomfortable and withdraws. I also ask for the moral of the story so that I understand why I was told the story in the first place. Hehehehe! That’s very uncomfortable, right?

No matter your belief, colour, tribe, status, etc. talk you didn’t request for will come. How you sieve, react to, accept and reply the message makes it gossip.

It is very important to correct gossip with wisdom and love because the only way to change the world is to first be the change.

Imagine 50% of the people they go to talk to make them question their stories, it will definitely carry out a reboot in their system without their knowledge and will, in turn, help them to subside gossiping.

Talk is inevitable, but the inevitable could be an instrument of a transformation.
Help someone this week. Remember, we need to be intentional.

My Thoughts

©Ala O. Wilcox

UNRAVELING

You are NOT a Knight in Shining Armour

Formidable, confident and self-assured
This was their stance!
They were charged to do battle
According to rank and file they stood!
Imposing in height, ready to fight!
They are warriors.

On the first Wednesday of the year
I hear the word Warrior
Wondering to myself, "how e take consign me"
I am not tall, not built, not physically imposing and maybe the same applies to you.

But;

You are Warrior
You are no stranger to darkness
You have survived the worst of times
You have fought battles both without and within
You have marched through enemy lines
Dodging bullets aimed at your mind to get to destiny.
Your wounds have given you wisdom
You have scars to prove you fought and you won

So this is our creed;
We will fight to keep what has been given us!
We will not lose heart!
We will win the battles in our mind and on the outside!
We will be strong and immovable!
We will obey our Master's call!
We will not be distracted!
We are not immune to fear but fight in spite of it!
We won't quit!
The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of Strongholds.

This is just a start!
Improve on your creed, makeup yours!
You are bold, you are courageous!
Irrelevant of your size, age, background or colour.
You are Warrior
You are not a Knight in shining armour!
Your armour has been used over and over again.
This is not a playground, this is a battleground!
So get up and fight!

Welcome to #WordsWednesday2019
#igspeaks

©IBELEMA GREENE

THe UNusuAL

I personally don’t feel like sending messages when everyone is doing it, especially during festive seasons. The reason is simple, I think the message is lost in the midst of everyone else's messages.

I receive dozens of messages a day that I open only the ones I come in contact with as I scroll down. However, these messages show some people you care for them and yet for others, they are indifferent. The later is it for me.

My question usually is, did you mean to send this message or do you want to be counted as one of those who remembered to send a message in the festive season?

Growing up has taught me that intent is very important in everything we do. The world today has somewhat influenced us to do and undo without necessarily thinking of why we do or undo them and this to me, compels us from thinking through our every action.

2019 is here and many of us have set goals based on what we’ve heard or read or been preached to about, it’s not about you and what you need or should do.

My point is simple, think through before you do. Check your motives, ask yourself why? Weigh your response(s) to yourself; be sure your motives are right. Don’t take little things for granted; BE INTENTIONAL with your life and actions.

Welcome to 2019.

My Thoughts.

©Ala O. Wilcox.

#alawilcoxblog #inspiration #2019 #happynewyear #intentional #life

CEMENTED (TODAY Series, Episode 1)

Today was a good day. It came with a confirmation that my efforts to make the society a better place is not a waste. 

Today, I learnt some lessons from people which I shared via different platforms. 
It's amazing how most times we teach and give but never learn and take. By the way, hearing a thing over and over again and getting to come to the realization that you had stopped practising what you learnt is not a crime nor a sin. Don't beat yourself over what you've known but have not fully put into practice. Truth is, the more you hear, the more plastered it becomes. The hearing is like mixing cement, sand and water, at that point it's not strong but using this analogy, it would get tough after a while. The more you hear, the more the mixture gets plastered on to a surface that needs it and it gets tough enough to stand all kinds of weather. 

I was so pleased when a friend said she learnt to give change, no matter how small it was. She only kept it when she was asked to.  How did that change thing come up sef? That's gist for another day. I was just happy she included that even her mother's five naira balance is now being returned. She'll rather charge you for what she'll do than take your balance. As much as there are dicey parts to this thought, it shows integrity when you do this little act, especially if you're sent on an errand. 

The second lesson was learning to say no. I am looking for opportunities for my business to grow by getting more jobs doesn't mean I should accept every job that comes my way, especially from people I know. 
You know, it's very difficult to say no when you need people to see you're not idle, but the question is, is every job worth it? 

One of my vendors gave me advice on this too. He said I put so much effort but charge so little so he was giving me a breakdown of how they do it and not lose out completely.
After that, a friend said she learnt to say no from me. 
I just laughed and told her, I just shot myself on the leg because I actually didn't say no and I'm bearing the consequences for not saying no. 
It just taught me that it is amazing how we could know a thing and not do it. No wonder the Bible talked about our keep hearing, because only then will it be cemented in our hearts. 

I hope you learn too. 


My Thoughts.

©Ala O Wilcox