My Life Is A Story -Poverty-

I sold groundnut, peppered meat, cake, popcorn, scones and many other things as a girl in secondary school. 
My mum never resulted to give me a tray on my head but she sure threatened me several times with it and at some moments she told me to be grateful it wasn’t up to that point. As for selling, no worry I sell things. 


Coming back from school with so much task both from school and at home, selling at the small shop downstairs wasn’t an easy combo especially for a child like me that was pretty involved in a lot in school, in church and at home. Cooking two (2) square meals for at least twelve (12) people everyday, fetching from a well to fill three (3) drums, one (1) for the general house on the first floor, second (2nd) for late grandpa, third (3rd) for my uncle on the second floor, washing dishes for everyone including plates of extras when I left for school, washing clothes for at least five (5) people, doing my take home assignments, studying materials other than school work and teaching at least one (1) person a day and being sane was quite cumbersome in my Columbia environment where chaos and negativity was practically the order of each day.
When my mum had financial crises and became broke, it became worse as most family members who were to be by her especially after the many sacrifices she made for them in the past were very much unavailable, things became tougher. It was more like suffering-smiling like some Nigerians would say.
Poverty I think is seriously a mindset thing as circumstances don’t ultimately define your status. It’s not about faking and making people think what you are not but it’s about what you think of yourself and your future.
Everything might not be as you plan or planned BUT if you give up it would not help would it?

Most children and adults felt like I was from a very rich home especially because of how I carried myself with respect and for the fact we lived in our own house at that time, but it was funny that on some days we didn’t even have food on our table and we just had to manage whatever we saw available. 


There were days we had to walk a very far distance to church or school, there were days she had to sacrifice food for Blessing and I and I will in turn sacrifice for Blessing to have her fill but in all this, you will never know or suspect anything like that was happening. Reasons being that our mum taught us to understand that it will get better someday and personally, I didn’t take dignity in being termed poor even if circumstances made it look so.

When you see things from a brighter perspective through the lens of the little torch even in the dark, hope springs up and helps you live positively today and tomorrow. The more positive you live, the more positivism people sense around you and the more positive people come to you. 

Kick out that clumsiness of “that’s how it is, I’ll take it as I see it” and guard your mind jealously allowing only good and positive thoughts of who you are and who you see you are in the future sit in. 

I rest my case. 

My Thoughts
©Ala O. Wilcox. 

Love's-Fair

Most times when we see a person with a disability we say things like "he is lazy and begging when it's just one leg he doesn't have. nuisance." 

The president termed youths as lazy and the uproar was massive. Everyone seemed to pitch what they do but some people on the streets didn't have a voice being that they just have to survive by begging. They've got no clue what it means to work to earn, be creative with ideas, solve problems and so on.

I beg us to wear our imagination cap for a few seconds. If you had a deep cut on one hand, how easy would it be for you to go about your chores at home? I bet one of the reasons you would go to the office is that you are paid and a cut isn't a good enough reason to be absent from work. I can imagine how impaired and slightly away from the true you, you will feel. 

Moving forward, checking through the statistics on google the most percentage of people living on the streets of Nigeria are with disability and the most common thought that comes to the mind of a common Nigerian when they see people with elephantiasis, blind eyes, no legs, hunch back and much more are usually the thoughts of them being cursed. You hear things like "wetin dis wan don go do wey den don throw am curse?" On several occasions, I've heard things like this both from home, in taxis, on the bus, on the streets and

it's so bad that some people use this persons with disabilities for begging business. Cruelty I would say.

This people we call menace to the society, no doubt they live our streets untidy and unsafe but, what action has been taken by the government regarding their plight? Have they tried to empower this people and make them useful to our society? It's not enough taking them off the streets, they need re-orientation, they need to be armed with skills. 

Most of them see theirselves as people who don't belong to the society in the first place, they see theirselves as people who are outcasts and deserve nothing but to eat and die when it comes. 

I have heard a lot on depression from people and I've been depressed myself in some situations but I ask myself, Ala, do you think you know depression? I think the disabled on the streets are an epitome of depression being that people scorn at them, laugh at them and are not friendly at all to them.

My thought today is simple, you who is priviledged to be a part of this generation that see things from a more enlightened perspective, lets come together to show love to this people. 

A simple smile, a loving word, a meal, a bottle of water, a new shirt, a sandal or slippers as it were and so much more will go a long way to make them feel special and loved. We must not wait for the government to love on them.

Treat a disabled with love today, stop discrimination.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

©Ala O. Wilcox

#disabled #love #empower #mythoughts #stopdiscrimination #nigeria #lovesfair #AlaWilcoxBlog

SAM

Never write off or judge a story from the beginning, always wait for the end. 

Sam got a 3 bedroom flat apartment and was so excited he could finally get a house so big he could use for so many things as regards his business and life work. He thought of how efficient he would be when he adds the skill of painting so he decided to go to the paint vendors and purchase the best silk paint, got the required items to paint with, got home and started painting. After painting the living room and the masters bedroom, he was infuriated cause the paint never looked like what he usually saw physically in other spaces that used silk paint, it didn't also look like what he envisaged in his mind and out of frustration, he stopped, called the vendors and began to lash on them for selling a paint that wasn't good enough but extremely expensive. The vendors insisted it was the best available but suggested they send one of their professional painters to come since he said he was the one doing it himself.

On the arrival of Paul, he was amazed at how much paint had been wasted. He told Sam he has to start all over but first he has to sandpaper the wall and screed first cause the older paint on the wall was texcoat. Sam who had spent so much and instilled so much energy decided to let the professional do his job and after Paul was done, the house was livable and irresistible. Sam was wondering how much he had wasted for not getting a professional to do the job. 

****

Most times, we are like Sam who go out and want to do everything just because we think we know the procedures of doing them, after all it's just to use a brush and paint right? We forget that different paints have different techniques and every wall has different procedures of work to bring out the refined beauty we imagine.

We complain about almost everything when it doesn't work and we have a lot of plans we want to achieve (the purpose for the extra rooms of Sam's new house), forgetting we have not gone to the Professional (God) who will take off some old things that are heavy (texcoat paint), put on us something new and less weighty (screeding) then beautify us with his final touch that makes us relevant and purposeful (silk paint), we now become bright, beautiful and cleanable. 

My lesson from the story is simple; you have to trust God to take care of those imperfections by staying in His Word. We all have those excellent unique qualities that make us different, relevant and beautiful but it takes God to know the processes that will make everyone come out excellently beautiful. Trust Him to refine you. 

I rest my case. 

My Thoughts.

There are so many other lessons from this story, do well to drop what you can drive from the story, remember you are unique. 

Thank you.

©Ala O. Wilcox

I Am Tired

What the heck is even wrong with me?  What have I done with my life and how have I carried out with all my many and little plans about what I want to do here on earth?
I am tired and I am sincerely exhausted. At least I know am not daft, dull, lazy or unresourceful. This was exactly my thoughts one day I was seating in a cab with the hot scorching sun giving me the almost hardest time of my life. It’s the end of the year and I’m counting my achievements from my goals this year and I realized I couldn’t even meet up to 35% of my targets, this just makes me feel miserable. But, it’s just the end of a year, life has not ended and it wouldn’t end because I didn’t achieve all I wanted to. 

I thought about you along the line, yes! you. I can't give up because of you. At least if I wouldn't do it for me, I should think of others who think the best of me and believe in me more than I believe in myself. 

You know, most times people who don't tend to push their selves to success despite their challenges are just being selfish. Put yourself in others shoes who expect things from us, think of those children and teenagers that your mere act of pushing can inspire to do better things with their lives, sometimes it's really not just about what you get individually but the amount of lives you've affected, this doesn't mean you should just inspire people and stay where you're at. At the end, your success story makes them believe in you more and gives you the backup you need to talk to others. 

I have snapped out of it, there's no giving up, not now, not ever. I will rather learn from 2017 and make 2018 better than beat myself over what didn’t happen. 
I will be who I aspire to be, I'll get there and I'll live a legacy. I won't give up, you shouldn't either. 

I rest my case. 

My Thoughts 
©Ala O. Wilcox 

I think I finally met my Prince Charming.....

I think I finally met my Prince Charming! As much as I really do not care so much about the physical I also mind about the physical. I'm sure all those guys that have asked me out from far and near will be calling me a hypocrite now. Hahaha! 

So this really cute guy, tall, beautifully shaped red lips with pointed noise that perfectly suits his face structure, well dressed with a Versace cologne that caught my smell sense approached me. Before he came I already like him, obviously for the fact that he looked extremely attractive, at least he caught Ala's attention. We exchanged pleasantries and of course yes, I didn't hesitate to give him my business card. 

A few days to knowing him I had got back to reality of "den no de chop fine o!", I had to remind myself that it wasn't all about the amount of cuteness, cash, beautiful house or car and after about two (2) weeks I got to realize that this package was just a beautiful package without good content and believe me, it wasn't my first.

This is basically our reality in the world now. Everyone is so well packaged on the outside that you can barely know the true content from just a sight of the individual. The funny thing is that some people think they have what it takes to thrive because they learn from what they have seen out there on social media but fail to look deep down and be fair on themselves as to if they are telling their selves the truth or not. We justify our actions even when we know somewhere in us we would have done better. 

It's time to breakout of this whole package without content and make ourselves valuable for our family, society and the generations to come. We need to think value because it's only when we think on it we become conscious to adding value to ourselves and others.

I'll leave you with some questions you should ponder on. 

a) Why am I here? 

b) What can I do to make my being here productive? 

c) How can I make my environment feel my positive impact? 

d) Who can I help? 

People wish to be influential but don't want to add value, that's an error. Add value and you automatically become a person of influence and do start from where you are (your family). 

They say,  practice makes perfect, start now. 

I rest my case. 

My Thoughts. 

Ala .O. Wilcox

#iStandForRightValues

UNLEARN

It all began with the question what do I really need to write about. I searched deep and for days, there were lots of things on my mind but I couldn't zero in on which I really wanted to serve you with. I drafted and deleted a lot but I got little pointers from different people at different intervals but all related to one thing and that is.....wait for it. #widesmile.

So I juggled through the life of a few people I know, people I didn't really know but got to know a few things about because they sought my advice on some matters, myself, a few family members and The Bible to summarize what I've always had as a personal principle in life which is "Learn from everything no matter how irrelevant it may seem, you never know where it might be". I really do not have permission to write about another except the person gives me a go ahead but I can give a little snippet of me.

In this my small twenty something years in life on earth, I've been through a lot you never can imagine I could have. It can never be the worse and I know that everything happens for a reason hence my not being perturbed by them, people have gone through worst but among all has been; disappointment from people I trust, heartbreak from family and friends, betrayal from the supposed people you trust in church, scarcity, shattered dreams, missed opportunities because of our societal pattern of "man-know-man" and so many other reasons.
Truth is, yes, everyone somehow goes through all of this but at different intensities but most people break and give up on life as a result of this thing. Have you ever imagined, if Nelson Mandela gave up, will South Africa be free today? If Oprah Winfrey gave up will she be the worlds second most richest black woman? If Joyce Meyer gave up will she be one of those women who could preach hope to other women? if Steve Jobs gave up would Apple be existing? If Bill Gates gave up will Microsoft exist? If Folorunsho Alakija had given up will she have the amass wealth she has now to the point of being the world's third most richest black woman? etc, I guess not. They all had one thing in common and that was pushing their self to learn from what they were going or had gone through.

I had thought through my short time on earth and realized that despite what we go through we still have the right to make the choice of what to do about/with them. Life is really choice driven both in good and bad situations. I decided at a point in my life to look deeply into the happenings of my life and not sulk on the issue, I tell God to teach me what I need to learn from whatever situation it might be and help me be stronger and ready for whatever comes next. Guess what, it works and it makes you stronger.

Many people have asked me "Ala, how do you manage to keep it together?" This is my secret. I see the happenings of life as SUBJECTS in the school called LIFE and I make sure I LEARN everything I need to pass the EXAM called PURPOSE.
Meanwhile, The Holy Spirit has been a companion and great source of inspiration in those times.

My call to you today is that, you don't just see the negativity in that ordeal that is or looks negative, look at the brighter side of it, learn all you can from it cause you need those lessons learnt to pass the other tests that comes your way.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.
Ala O. Wilcox

MOVE

I can be better than this, the question is how? This question has been perturbing my mind for a while now and I know it's been same for some of you out there especially as you've not been able to meet up all your goals for the year and it's already coming to an end.

We can do this! Yes we can.

There is no point in pretending it’s going to be easy.
But, we also know we are awesome and amazing at taking on difficult tasks—and we can just go for it!
I know there are things you want to change about yourself and in your life. Some of these feel impossible. “This is just the way I am,” we often say to ourselves and our friends.
But is this true? I don’t think so. None of us are always one way—or we don’t have to be. You are always changing!
Every day you get older and experience new things in your inner and outer-environment. Change is happening constantly. The question is: can you direct this change? Can you participate fully in your life and choose what is being strengthened and what is being weakened?

If we don’t make any attempt to change the parts of our lives we aren’t satisfied with—they simply won’t change.
If you do nothing…you will get nothing.
Nothing changes the first time we try. Persistence is needed. Persistence is necessary. Persistence is self-love being manifested into reality.

Are you ever going to be able to change? Will you ever have the body, love-life, career, business, relationship, family you want? I really don’t know.
But, I know you won’t have them if you don’t try. And, I hope you try. Because what the world needs for its healing is people working toward their own healing.

Yes, it  is hard—but you can do it. You just need to start.
I rest my case.

My Thoughts
Ala O. Wilcox