I think I finally met my Prince Charming.....

I think I finally met my Prince Charming! As much as I really do not care so much about the physical I also mind about the physical. I'm sure all those guys that have asked me out from far and near will be calling me a hypocrite now. Hahaha! 

So this really cute guy, tall, beautifully shaped red lips with pointed noise that perfectly suits his face structure, well dressed with a Versace cologne that caught my smell sense approached me. Before he came I already like him, obviously for the fact that he looked extremely attractive, at least he caught Ala's attention. We exchanged pleasantries and of course yes, I didn't hesitate to give him my business card. 

A few days to knowing him I had got back to reality of "den no de chop fine o!", I had to remind myself that it wasn't all about the amount of cuteness, cash, beautiful house or car and after about two (2) weeks I got to realize that this package was just a beautiful package without good content and believe me, it wasn't my first.

This is basically our reality in the world now. Everyone is so well packaged on the outside that you can barely know the true content from just a sight of the individual. The funny thing is that some people think they have what it takes to thrive because they learn from what they have seen out there on social media but fail to look deep down and be fair on themselves as to if they are telling their selves the truth or not. We justify our actions even when we know somewhere in us we would have done better. 

It's time to breakout of this whole package without content and make ourselves valuable for our family, society and the generations to come. We need to think value because it's only when we think on it we become conscious to adding value to ourselves and others.

I'll leave you with some questions you should ponder on. 

a) Why am I here? 

b) What can I do to make my being here productive? 

c) How can I make my environment feel my positive impact? 

d) Who can I help? 

People wish to be influential but don't want to add value, that's an error. Add value and you automatically become a person of influence and do start from where you are (your family). 

They say,  practice makes perfect, start now. 

I rest my case. 

My Thoughts. 

Ala .O. Wilcox

#iStandForRightValues

UNLEARN

It all began with the question what do I really need to write about. I searched deep and for days, there were lots of things on my mind but I couldn't zero in on which I really wanted to serve you with. I drafted and deleted a lot but I got little pointers from different people at different intervals but all related to one thing and that is.....wait for it. #widesmile.

So I juggled through the life of a few people I know, people I didn't really know but got to know a few things about because they sought my advice on some matters, myself, a few family members and The Bible to summarize what I've always had as a personal principle in life which is "Learn from everything no matter how irrelevant it may seem, you never know where it might be". I really do not have permission to write about another except the person gives me a go ahead but I can give a little snippet of me.

In this my small twenty something years in life on earth, I've been through a lot you never can imagine I could have. It can never be the worse and I know that everything happens for a reason hence my not being perturbed by them, people have gone through worst but among all has been; disappointment from people I trust, heartbreak from family and friends, betrayal from the supposed people you trust in church, scarcity, shattered dreams, missed opportunities because of our societal pattern of "man-know-man" and so many other reasons.
Truth is, yes, everyone somehow goes through all of this but at different intensities but most people break and give up on life as a result of this thing. Have you ever imagined, if Nelson Mandela gave up, will South Africa be free today? If Oprah Winfrey gave up will she be the worlds second most richest black woman? If Joyce Meyer gave up will she be one of those women who could preach hope to other women? if Steve Jobs gave up would Apple be existing? If Bill Gates gave up will Microsoft exist? If Folorunsho Alakija had given up will she have the amass wealth she has now to the point of being the world's third most richest black woman? etc, I guess not. They all had one thing in common and that was pushing their self to learn from what they were going or had gone through.

I had thought through my short time on earth and realized that despite what we go through we still have the right to make the choice of what to do about/with them. Life is really choice driven both in good and bad situations. I decided at a point in my life to look deeply into the happenings of my life and not sulk on the issue, I tell God to teach me what I need to learn from whatever situation it might be and help me be stronger and ready for whatever comes next. Guess what, it works and it makes you stronger.

Many people have asked me "Ala, how do you manage to keep it together?" This is my secret. I see the happenings of life as SUBJECTS in the school called LIFE and I make sure I LEARN everything I need to pass the EXAM called PURPOSE.
Meanwhile, The Holy Spirit has been a companion and great source of inspiration in those times.

My call to you today is that, you don't just see the negativity in that ordeal that is or looks negative, look at the brighter side of it, learn all you can from it cause you need those lessons learnt to pass the other tests that comes your way.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.
Ala O. Wilcox

MOVE

I can be better than this, the question is how? This question has been perturbing my mind for a while now and I know it's been same for some of you out there especially as you've not been able to meet up all your goals for the year and it's already coming to an end.

We can do this! Yes we can.

There is no point in pretending it’s going to be easy.
But, we also know we are awesome and amazing at taking on difficult tasks—and we can just go for it!
I know there are things you want to change about yourself and in your life. Some of these feel impossible. “This is just the way I am,” we often say to ourselves and our friends.
But is this true? I don’t think so. None of us are always one way—or we don’t have to be. You are always changing!
Every day you get older and experience new things in your inner and outer-environment. Change is happening constantly. The question is: can you direct this change? Can you participate fully in your life and choose what is being strengthened and what is being weakened?

If we don’t make any attempt to change the parts of our lives we aren’t satisfied with—they simply won’t change.
If you do nothing…you will get nothing.
Nothing changes the first time we try. Persistence is needed. Persistence is necessary. Persistence is self-love being manifested into reality.

Are you ever going to be able to change? Will you ever have the body, love-life, career, business, relationship, family you want? I really don’t know.
But, I know you won’t have them if you don’t try. And, I hope you try. Because what the world needs for its healing is people working toward their own healing.

Yes, it  is hard—but you can do it. You just need to start.
I rest my case.

My Thoughts
Ala O. Wilcox

I never want to end up like my parents

I never want to end up like my mum or dad. Please take away that surprise look from your eyes, thank you. 

I always wanted to be a lawyer as a younger girl. I loved talking reasonably especially for people, asking questions, proving rights and wrongs, standing up for those who can't and many more but that was not the case for me at the end. Why did I bring up what I wanted to be in this write-up? You know as we grow older, we get to realize and be thankful that a lot of things we wished for some years back, we never got them. That's not because it wasn't a good wish but because maturity has made us understand that we never needed them and if we had got them, perhaps, we wouldn't have learnt what we know or we wouldn't have had the experiences that made us better (this might not always be the case though).

I added a year yesterday, yes. I love the show of love and affection from everyone, yes and thank you somuch, but in all this, I try to see the differences or changes that have occurred within the previous year of my life. 

Did I do things better? Did I make the right choices? Did I add value in all or few spheres of my life? How successful am I in the sense that how many lives have I influenced positively? Did I make good friends? Have I put away the acquaintances of mine that I think are not of good influence in my life (not in the judgemental way)? Am I a better lady than I was in the last year? How prepared am I for the man I will be spending the rest of my life with  (do I have as much content as I would love him to have)? Have I derailed from my purpose? etc. This and many more questions are the things I perturb myself with because life "I think" is more than the celebrations, fun and well wishes.

I remember I started off with me not wanting to be like my parents and believe me, I am extremely serious about it. 

My mum is my mum and my dad is my dad but there was never a time it was written anywhere that life was about being who our parents are(were) despite their background or achievements. Truth is even if my dad were Aliko Dangote or my mum Folorunso Alakija I would want to be different from them. I would love to do something different that'll make me stand out. They have their purpose and they were used as a tool to bring me (another tool) to earth to fulfill my purpose here. 

This is a wakeup call to all of us who have gotten tied up with so much noise (work, social media, business, church activities, etc) from our generation. You came here for a reason, do not die with it. 

FIND THAT REASON, LIVE THE REASON AND BECOME THE REASON OTHERS HAVE A REASON.

I rest my case. 

My Thoughts.

©Ala O. Wilcox.

People are important

People are really important to us. Go out there, socialize, make worthy friends. Be inspired by Leroy Okoni.

Erotomania -a dilusional disorder-

Erotomania is a type of delusional disorder where the affected person believes that another person is in love with him or her. This belief is usually applied to someone with higher status or a famous person, but can also be applied to a complete stranger.

Edit

The core symptom of the disorder is that the sufferer holds an unshakable belief that another person is secretly in love with them. In some cases, the sufferer may believe several people at once are "secret admirers." The sufferer may also experience other types of delusions concurrently with erotomania, such as delusions of reference, wherein the perceived admirer secretly communicates his or her love by subtle methods such as body posture, arrangement of household objects, and other seemingly innocuous acts (or, if the person is a public figure, through clues in the media). Erotomanic delusions are typically found as the primary symptom of a delusional disorder or in the context of schizophrenia and may be treated with atypical antipsychotics.

Source: www.google.com/wikepedia

Give it your TITLE

It starts like a drop of tear and gradually graduates into lots of tears mixed up with nose fluid that gets all your make over messed up. 

It starts off with a single harmless thought of why, what, when then navigates the thought which was harmless to being harmful. 

The bubbling and joyful me would never be associated with such a devastating thing. No, it ain't possible.

But then, as much as I had this thought about me, I never really knew what was coming.

My story goes like this. I was really hopeful that all my plans will come through. In short, I had it all figured out. The what, why, how and when question was all answered and to the best of my knowledge, with how critical I can be when I'm trying to make a plan or figure something out, my plans should never fail, afterall, I prayed to God about it and I know my ideas come from Him alone. 

In my super excited and glittering mood, I can do almost anything to make another person happy because yes, I was hopeful. The future has a lot to offer. 

Weeks and months went through and it seemed like there was no need to be hopeful. I looked for my faith but couldn't find it. I started looking for it the moment I allowed my thoughts take a better part of me in the sense that at this particular time, my thoughts were more of doubt than the usual hope, faith and trust. 

It lingered on and on and then the unusual with me happened, *DEPRESSION*. 

Can I blame anyone for it? Can I put the blame on government or my leaders? Can I blame the church? Of course No. 

Many times we tend to look for excuses and put our misfortunes on others just to feel good that it's not our fault. Truth is, we are the ones who get ourselves into the fix we usually find ourselves in and we should get ourselves out of it. 

It's not as easy as it sounds but it's POSSIBLE. 

How?

*Realize that you are over reacting to the issue at hand. You weren't the first neither will you be the last to go through this but how you handle it will determine how well this and other things will work for you.

*Depend and abide on God and His Word totally. When you do this in sincerity of heart even with how difficult it can be, you feel less burdened. 

*Remind yourself of His promises and believe in yourself daily. If you were made in His image and He says you are a god, there's certainly nothing you can't achieve. It's just a matter of time.

*Restrategize, have faith, be hopeful, trust in the abilities God has given you, keep on at it, never give up, never give in to doubts cause it only leads to depression.

*Have the right company. People that can encourage you even when you feel like giving up not people who'll discourage you when you're down.

These are just few tips on how I stepped out of it.

********

We just got into the second part of the year and I'm so sure a lot of us have not had all things work out the way we envisaged when we came into 2017. Never mind, you didn't get it the first half doesn't mean you wouldn't tomorrow. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS OR PLANS, IT WILL WORK OUT JUST FINE.

Happy New Month.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

©Ala O. Wilcox