People are important

People are really important to us. Go out there, socialize, make worthy friends. Be inspired by Leroy Okoni.

Erotomania -a dilusional disorder-

Erotomania is a type of delusional disorder where the affected person believes that another person is in love with him or her. This belief is usually applied to someone with higher status or a famous person, but can also be applied to a complete stranger.

Edit

The core symptom of the disorder is that the sufferer holds an unshakable belief that another person is secretly in love with them. In some cases, the sufferer may believe several people at once are "secret admirers." The sufferer may also experience other types of delusions concurrently with erotomania, such as delusions of reference, wherein the perceived admirer secretly communicates his or her love by subtle methods such as body posture, arrangement of household objects, and other seemingly innocuous acts (or, if the person is a public figure, through clues in the media). Erotomanic delusions are typically found as the primary symptom of a delusional disorder or in the context of schizophrenia and may be treated with atypical antipsychotics.

Source: www.google.com/wikepedia

Give it your TITLE

It starts like a drop of tear and gradually graduates into lots of tears mixed up with nose fluid that gets all your make over messed up. 

It starts off with a single harmless thought of why, what, when then navigates the thought which was harmless to being harmful. 

The bubbling and joyful me would never be associated with such a devastating thing. No, it ain't possible.

But then, as much as I had this thought about me, I never really knew what was coming.

My story goes like this. I was really hopeful that all my plans will come through. In short, I had it all figured out. The what, why, how and when question was all answered and to the best of my knowledge, with how critical I can be when I'm trying to make a plan or figure something out, my plans should never fail, afterall, I prayed to God about it and I know my ideas come from Him alone. 

In my super excited and glittering mood, I can do almost anything to make another person happy because yes, I was hopeful. The future has a lot to offer. 

Weeks and months went through and it seemed like there was no need to be hopeful. I looked for my faith but couldn't find it. I started looking for it the moment I allowed my thoughts take a better part of me in the sense that at this particular time, my thoughts were more of doubt than the usual hope, faith and trust. 

It lingered on and on and then the unusual with me happened, *DEPRESSION*. 

Can I blame anyone for it? Can I put the blame on government or my leaders? Can I blame the church? Of course No. 

Many times we tend to look for excuses and put our misfortunes on others just to feel good that it's not our fault. Truth is, we are the ones who get ourselves into the fix we usually find ourselves in and we should get ourselves out of it. 

It's not as easy as it sounds but it's POSSIBLE. 

How?

*Realize that you are over reacting to the issue at hand. You weren't the first neither will you be the last to go through this but how you handle it will determine how well this and other things will work for you.

*Depend and abide on God and His Word totally. When you do this in sincerity of heart even with how difficult it can be, you feel less burdened. 

*Remind yourself of His promises and believe in yourself daily. If you were made in His image and He says you are a god, there's certainly nothing you can't achieve. It's just a matter of time.

*Restrategize, have faith, be hopeful, trust in the abilities God has given you, keep on at it, never give up, never give in to doubts cause it only leads to depression.

*Have the right company. People that can encourage you even when you feel like giving up not people who'll discourage you when you're down.

These are just few tips on how I stepped out of it.

********

We just got into the second part of the year and I'm so sure a lot of us have not had all things work out the way we envisaged when we came into 2017. Never mind, you didn't get it the first half doesn't mean you wouldn't tomorrow. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS OR PLANS, IT WILL WORK OUT JUST FINE.

Happy New Month.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

©Ala O. Wilcox

Note To Parents Of My Generation 4

You might not have known but I'm here to let you know that in these times many people seem not to have values. If a random appraisal is taken in our society today, you'll find out that people just seem to follow trend and some individuals have set their value system based on what trends at a particular period of time hence people having different plans and ambitions within approximately 6 months.
What then are values? 

I'll simply state and come from the angle that values is usefulness, importance.

Listening to a lot of individuals talk based on how much I ask questions, I realize that most people don't have what they term as most important or priorities in their lives. They go through life as they see it, no plan, no daring anticipations. Most of these persons are people that either have a family or intend having one and I really get scared for the next generation with humans like this all around. 

Our generation has gone a step farther than our parents, yes. Why? For the mere fact that they don't just wait for white collar jobs. 

We've got mind for business but on the other hand, our parents also got involved with businesses and made money from it too. Where they lagged was in thinking of making it bigger than themselves and their children, making it a brand, etc. They saw getting a B.sc and working in a company as the main goal but at this point in our lives the educational system is so wack that we have illiterate graduates so that's not close to the ultimate like it was then.

Back to the main focus, as parents of the next generation, we need to set different values in place and use that as a bedrock for our children to follow and learn the importance and necessity of having values for themselves.

A scenario of a girl child who doesn't know the value of getting money from decent work might be lured by friends to think that sleeping with an elderly man is a norm since its rampant around her environment. 

If as a parent, an elder sister, aunt, uncle, you acted and sounded this all the time as wrong, she probably would not have listened but what she sees going on everywhere is that act so she might as well join the train. You wouldn't blame her if you never told her or corrected any young one even when you saw it happening around you would you?

Have a value system, prioritize right. The future generation needs you to get it together for yourself so that they can for themselves.

I rest my case

My Thoughts 
©Ala O. Wilcox 

Note To Parents Of My Generation 3

When people hear parenting they tell their selves I'm not yet a mother or a father neither am I married. We all are sure going to be parents one day and even if we decide to become priests or sisters in the convent, we will shepherd others who will either be children, teenagers or young youths hence it's important you always note the importance of seeing yourself as a parent.

I really miss the days when a total stranger who sees me doing something wrong, disciplines me immediately and takes me to my mum who says thank you and continues from where the individual stopped. It can be annoying yes, because obviously "e no concern am, I no be em pikin" but on the flip side, it showed how endearing they were then because they all saw theirselves as being responsible to bringing up a child with good morals and manners.

My generation has lost that touch and should take it back on because that's something that would help us a whole lot in future.

I have reasons for saying we should all see ourselves as parents which is, children of the new generation don't just ask their parents why. Their minds are so at play that they could ask you who they really don't know a question they feel they can't ask their parents and at that point in time, the answer you give them can either make them or mar them because it helps them make the wrong or right choices. 

As a result of this, I've tried to be really informed in many areas.

Think of it that, a teenager comes to you and asks you a question, you neither look confused or unstable but you give them an astounding answer with facts that looks or is logical and true. That teenager might just always approach you for questions whenever he or she can't reach out to his/her parents. Hence you're the channel through which the child stays sane in this misleading days.

YOU CAN BE THAT PARENT THE CHILD, TEENAGER OR EVEN YOUTH NEVER HAD. BE INFORMED cause you are your brothers keeper.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.
©Ala O. Wilcox

Note To Parents Of My Generation 2

So you think a 25 year old is someone old and mature? Why would you even think that in the first place?

Within my short time on earth, I've met a lot of individuals and it is amazing to know that some ladies and gents who were even up to 30 years, don't just have some necessary information. I begin to fear for their wives, husbands or children. Especially their children. 

A typical example was a man I came across and had somany things he wanted to achieve, I then asked this question "what do you really want to do now, which comes first?" and his answer was "I don't know, I'm still praying about it." I asked a young lady who contacted me for Interior Design classes, what do you love to do, why Interior Decor/Design? Guess what, her answer was also "I don't know,I just love beautiful houses" and she's 26. It wasn't even about the age but the way she carried herself like a queen without knowing what she wanted. She couldn't even stand the pressure of the classes. 

I was really perplexed and heartbroken by their answers but it got me thinking and asking more questions because this girl wants to be married as soon as possible, she also thinks she's aging then pressure from parents since she's done with school, adding to society based on female friends and family members getting married. The guy on the otherhand says he's engaged to be married and arrangements for the marriage will soon begin. 

If these two persons in my example could not simply answer the question what that one thing they really loved doing was, how can they identify a little child's gift and start training them to be grounded in it from infancy?

The children we would be birthing will need us to understand their gifting from infancy and start giving them necessary training at that stage. They will be thankful and love us for doing that when they grow but we would also be somewhat fulfilled when that our simple act made them become a blessing to us from an early age.

Without the necessary information of discovering yourself, how can you discover another?

BE INFORMED, YOU CERTAINLY WILL BECOME A PARENT TOMORROW.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts

©Ala Wilcox

Note To Parents Of My Generation

I asked a question on facebook  few weeks back "Why do people often get upset when they are asked WHY? Especially when you ask them to enlighten you on what they say you should(n't) do?".

Before I did, I had parents in mind and I'm sure you'll be wondering why? 

Amongst all the comments, the one by Richard Chilee caught my attention because I felt it was almost one of the reasons why the why question was seen as either insulting, challenging or rude and it reads thus; 

"I think it stems from a culture that doesn't allow for questions especially from younger to older. Our culture accepts a hand-me-down approach to issues. We also want people to swallow our suggestions and opinion without asking. Hence asking 'why' is likened to insulting". 

I also liked this Tommy Udoh's answer;

Cover for ignorance - when people don't have answers they feign anger so as to dissuade further probe.

***

It's been a big burden looking back at the reaction of most of our parents when they are asked to please explain the reasons for their telling us to take or not take some actions. It's almost like its a taboo to ask for clarification. I usually remember the old proverb they always told us "what an old man sees sitting down, a young man who climbs an iroko tree cannot see it" and if it's said now, I shake my head because in some cases, yes it's true but in many other scenarios, it's not so much like that.

It's funny but I do not blame them because in their time, that's how it worked. A lot of habits, belief, ideologies, were passed on to our parents with the assertion that they had to do it how they were taught or told because that's how it is supposed to be done or how it is done. It worked for them because they didn't have access to much information and that's why marriages could be easily arranged, courses could easily be selected for children, etc.

In this our time, that almost doesn't work. 

I've seen a lot of people from my generation who had questions that couldn't be answered fall into the wrong things and get associated with wrong people just because they were really inquisitive and their parents weren't knowledgeable enough, were too self righteous or saw being asked those questions as being disrespectful. 

It's a pity some people still suffer as a result of this mindset and some parents still try to control their children's thought process and decisions. Meanwhile by children I don't mean below 25. Truth is even if you are 40, you are still your parents child. 

To avoid a very long write-up, I'll divide this thought process of mine in different articles. 

Now to the crux of the matter, my note is to my generation of parents not our parents. We are one of the luckiest ones being that God blessed us to be the generation that will breakout from that "it's the norm" mindset to "things change plus we have the database of information we can dig into to answer almost anything".

Build your capacity as a parent to answer anything, be well informed because your child would not understand the "it's the norm" answer your parents gave to you. The rate at which the children of these days ask questions that looks irrelevant but looking at it critically, it is important, then you will understand the reason I am bringing it to your notice. 

For this particular article I'll keep the message as BE AN INFORMED PARENT.

I rest my case

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox