Note To Parents Of My Generation 4

You might not have known but I'm here to let you know that in these times many people seem not to have values. If a random appraisal is taken in our society today, you'll find out that people just seem to follow trend and some individuals have set their value system based on what trends at a particular period of time hence people having different plans and ambitions within approximately 6 months.
What then are values? 

I'll simply state and come from the angle that values is usefulness, importance.

Listening to a lot of individuals talk based on how much I ask questions, I realize that most people don't have what they term as most important or priorities in their lives. They go through life as they see it, no plan, no daring anticipations. Most of these persons are people that either have a family or intend having one and I really get scared for the next generation with humans like this all around. 

Our generation has gone a step farther than our parents, yes. Why? For the mere fact that they don't just wait for white collar jobs. 

We've got mind for business but on the other hand, our parents also got involved with businesses and made money from it too. Where they lagged was in thinking of making it bigger than themselves and their children, making it a brand, etc. They saw getting a B.sc and working in a company as the main goal but at this point in our lives the educational system is so wack that we have illiterate graduates so that's not close to the ultimate like it was then.

Back to the main focus, as parents of the next generation, we need to set different values in place and use that as a bedrock for our children to follow and learn the importance and necessity of having values for themselves.

A scenario of a girl child who doesn't know the value of getting money from decent work might be lured by friends to think that sleeping with an elderly man is a norm since its rampant around her environment. 

If as a parent, an elder sister, aunt, uncle, you acted and sounded this all the time as wrong, she probably would not have listened but what she sees going on everywhere is that act so she might as well join the train. You wouldn't blame her if you never told her or corrected any young one even when you saw it happening around you would you?

Have a value system, prioritize right. The future generation needs you to get it together for yourself so that they can for themselves.

I rest my case

My Thoughts 
©Ala O. Wilcox 

Note To Parents Of My Generation 3

When people hear parenting they tell their selves I'm not yet a mother or a father neither am I married. We all are sure going to be parents one day and even if we decide to become priests or sisters in the convent, we will shepherd others who will either be children, teenagers or young youths hence it's important you always note the importance of seeing yourself as a parent.

I really miss the days when a total stranger who sees me doing something wrong, disciplines me immediately and takes me to my mum who says thank you and continues from where the individual stopped. It can be annoying yes, because obviously "e no concern am, I no be em pikin" but on the flip side, it showed how endearing they were then because they all saw theirselves as being responsible to bringing up a child with good morals and manners.

My generation has lost that touch and should take it back on because that's something that would help us a whole lot in future.

I have reasons for saying we should all see ourselves as parents which is, children of the new generation don't just ask their parents why. Their minds are so at play that they could ask you who they really don't know a question they feel they can't ask their parents and at that point in time, the answer you give them can either make them or mar them because it helps them make the wrong or right choices. 

As a result of this, I've tried to be really informed in many areas.

Think of it that, a teenager comes to you and asks you a question, you neither look confused or unstable but you give them an astounding answer with facts that looks or is logical and true. That teenager might just always approach you for questions whenever he or she can't reach out to his/her parents. Hence you're the channel through which the child stays sane in this misleading days.

YOU CAN BE THAT PARENT THE CHILD, TEENAGER OR EVEN YOUTH NEVER HAD. BE INFORMED cause you are your brothers keeper.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.
©Ala O. Wilcox

Note To Parents Of My Generation 2

So you think a 25 year old is someone old and mature? Why would you even think that in the first place?

Within my short time on earth, I've met a lot of individuals and it is amazing to know that some ladies and gents who were even up to 30 years, don't just have some necessary information. I begin to fear for their wives, husbands or children. Especially their children. 

A typical example was a man I came across and had somany things he wanted to achieve, I then asked this question "what do you really want to do now, which comes first?" and his answer was "I don't know, I'm still praying about it." I asked a young lady who contacted me for Interior Design classes, what do you love to do, why Interior Decor/Design? Guess what, her answer was also "I don't know,I just love beautiful houses" and she's 26. It wasn't even about the age but the way she carried herself like a queen without knowing what she wanted. She couldn't even stand the pressure of the classes. 

I was really perplexed and heartbroken by their answers but it got me thinking and asking more questions because this girl wants to be married as soon as possible, she also thinks she's aging then pressure from parents since she's done with school, adding to society based on female friends and family members getting married. The guy on the otherhand says he's engaged to be married and arrangements for the marriage will soon begin. 

If these two persons in my example could not simply answer the question what that one thing they really loved doing was, how can they identify a little child's gift and start training them to be grounded in it from infancy?

The children we would be birthing will need us to understand their gifting from infancy and start giving them necessary training at that stage. They will be thankful and love us for doing that when they grow but we would also be somewhat fulfilled when that our simple act made them become a blessing to us from an early age.

Without the necessary information of discovering yourself, how can you discover another?

BE INFORMED, YOU CERTAINLY WILL BECOME A PARENT TOMORROW.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts

©Ala Wilcox

Note To Parents Of My Generation

I asked a question on facebook  few weeks back "Why do people often get upset when they are asked WHY? Especially when you ask them to enlighten you on what they say you should(n't) do?".

Before I did, I had parents in mind and I'm sure you'll be wondering why? 

Amongst all the comments, the one by Richard Chilee caught my attention because I felt it was almost one of the reasons why the why question was seen as either insulting, challenging or rude and it reads thus; 

"I think it stems from a culture that doesn't allow for questions especially from younger to older. Our culture accepts a hand-me-down approach to issues. We also want people to swallow our suggestions and opinion without asking. Hence asking 'why' is likened to insulting". 

I also liked this Tommy Udoh's answer;

Cover for ignorance - when people don't have answers they feign anger so as to dissuade further probe.

***

It's been a big burden looking back at the reaction of most of our parents when they are asked to please explain the reasons for their telling us to take or not take some actions. It's almost like its a taboo to ask for clarification. I usually remember the old proverb they always told us "what an old man sees sitting down, a young man who climbs an iroko tree cannot see it" and if it's said now, I shake my head because in some cases, yes it's true but in many other scenarios, it's not so much like that.

It's funny but I do not blame them because in their time, that's how it worked. A lot of habits, belief, ideologies, were passed on to our parents with the assertion that they had to do it how they were taught or told because that's how it is supposed to be done or how it is done. It worked for them because they didn't have access to much information and that's why marriages could be easily arranged, courses could easily be selected for children, etc.

In this our time, that almost doesn't work. 

I've seen a lot of people from my generation who had questions that couldn't be answered fall into the wrong things and get associated with wrong people just because they were really inquisitive and their parents weren't knowledgeable enough, were too self righteous or saw being asked those questions as being disrespectful. 

It's a pity some people still suffer as a result of this mindset and some parents still try to control their children's thought process and decisions. Meanwhile by children I don't mean below 25. Truth is even if you are 40, you are still your parents child. 

To avoid a very long write-up, I'll divide this thought process of mine in different articles. 

Now to the crux of the matter, my note is to my generation of parents not our parents. We are one of the luckiest ones being that God blessed us to be the generation that will breakout from that "it's the norm" mindset to "things change plus we have the database of information we can dig into to answer almost anything".

Build your capacity as a parent to answer anything, be well informed because your child would not understand the "it's the norm" answer your parents gave to you. The rate at which the children of these days ask questions that looks irrelevant but looking at it critically, it is important, then you will understand the reason I am bringing it to your notice. 

For this particular article I'll keep the message as BE AN INFORMED PARENT.

I rest my case

My Thoughts.

Ala O. Wilcox

People are important 1

I remember while I was younger how my mum told me not to associate with certain people because she felt they were not a good influence (from her intuition). In most cases, I listened and in some cases I didn't really take heed. Definitely consequences will come from the decision of not listening. I regretted not listening to her for some and was grateful to God I didn't listen in some cases.

I remember how all the "don't go close to" statements made me look people from afar and concluded what they were or were not.

I've always had the thought that people might not just be what they look like or act like at first cause it's either they might just be going through a bad/hard day that could make them send the wrong signal or something might have happened to you before then that impedes your judgement towards them at that particular time.

I realized I was right cause the best of friends I have came from people I usually would have had a wrong impression on and till I gave them the opportunity, I never would have known how beautiful they were inside.

Learn to have a free spirit with people. 

If you feel the person might not be good enough for you, have you thought of how that little time you share with or little talk you have with the person can bring a transformation to that individual?

Life is more than socializing to make connections or to gain something. It should be more about impacting on the next person you have an opportunity to impact on. If the person is not of good character, you can always give the person the striking thought of reasoning to be different for the better.

This doesn't mean you must talk to every and anybody, just think IMPACT more than JUDGING.

To be continued.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts 

©Ala O. Wilcox

#makeadifference

#donotjudge

Dirty Clothes

"Despise" is the right term. Yes, I despise washing clothes with my hands. It hurts my skin and my nails terribly. My skin is just too fragile jor. Lol!
I've tried the mildest of detergents and soap but there has always been a but and with my kind of person, I could rinse 1 cloth 4 times just because I want it sparkling clean.

I'm sure you'll say washing machines are available. Yes they are but if you decide to do your laundry and our Nigeria PHED seize power? Your guess is as good as mine.

Please join me put on your imagination cap for 20seconds. Imagine a heap of dirty clothes you've worn for a month. You used most of this clothes to cook, walk under the scorching sun and the heavy rain amongst others. Think of how untidy it will make your place look, imagine the smell or disgust feel you'll have if you had that in your room or closet. 
That's how it is when we pile up things we need to do but look for excuses not to do them.


There are some tasks we need to carry out, places we need to go to, people we need to meet with etc but for the fact we don't like the task or like the environment or like the people associated with the people we need to meet, we push it for later and this ends up turning it to piles of undone things hence drawing us backward from achieving what we are supposed to achieve.

My point is, let's try to do a little of that thing we don't like to do but we know we need to do to get to where we want to be either daily or weekly as this helps prevent heaps of dirty clothes that would stink at the end.If you can't do it all at once, do it gradually. There's nothing wrong with taking a step at a time, it's part of the process.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.
©Ala O. Wilcox.

On Learn Me today

stick–to–itiveness
(noun)  stick–to–it·ive·ness \stik-ˈtü-ə-tiv-nəs\

Popularity: Bottom 10% of words


Definition of stick–to–itiveness

:  dogged perseverance :  tenacity

Origin and Etymology of stick–to–itiveness

from the phrase stick to it
First Known Use: 1867

stick–to–itiveness
Synonyms
decidedness, decision, decisiveness, determinedness, firmness, granite, purposefulness, resoluteness, resolution, resolve, stick-to-itiveness

Antonyms
hesitation, indecision, indecisiveness, irresoluteness, irresolution, vacillation

Related Words
doggedness, obduracy, obdurateness, obstinacy, obstinateness, perseverance, persistence, persistency, stubbornness, tenaciousness, tenacity; certainty, certitude, confidence, sureness; alacrity, eagerness, gameness, readiness; backbone, fortitude, grit, iron, pluck, sand

Near Antonyms
doubt, incertitude, indetermination, uncertainty; aversion, disinclination, indisposition, reluctance, unwillingness

stick–to–itiveness
(noun)  stick–to–it·ive·ness \stik-ˈtü-ə-tiv-nəs\

Definition of stick–to–itiveness for English Language Learners

: the quality that allows someone to continue trying to do something even though it is difficult or unpleasant.


Source: www.google.com/meriamwebster