Ala Pepple, The Space Therapist? But Why?

 

I am Ala Pepple, a Space Therapist.

Most times, people ask me why I call myself The Space Therapist, let me explain why.

As an interior designer, I’ve often encountered a curious yet common scenario: I meet clients with a vague sense of what they want for their spaces but struggle to express it. They might say, “I know I want something different,” or “I’m just not sure how to make this room work,”  or "I don't know what I want," or "anything you give me, I'll take, I trust your expertise." While they may have a feeling of what they want, articulating it and narrowing down their vision is a whole different challenge. This is where the art of patience, active listening, and thoughtful direction comes into play.

Over time, I’ve come to refer to myself as "The Space Therapist" because, much like a therapist, my role is not to impose my vision on the space, but to help my clients uncover their own. I’ve learned that they often already have an idea of what they need, but the path to finding it can be a winding one. It’s my job to guide them gently, allowing them to uncover their thoughts and desires. Interior design, after all, is a deeply personal experience, and understanding the client’s emotional connection to their space is key to creating something that truly resonates.

When clients come to me, they typically come with fragmented ideas: a vague desire for coziness, a need for functionality, or an image of something they saw online that sparked their imagination. But here's the catch—they don’t always know how to verbalize these desires.

This is where the power of active listening comes in. Active listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the underlying emotions and intentions behind them. By asking open-ended questions and giving clients the time and space to talk freely, I encourage them to explore their thoughts and feelings about their living or working environment, and even their families and friends.

For example, when a client says, “I want a modern look,” I don’t just take it at face value. I’ll ask, “What aspects of modern design appeal to you?” or “How do you want this space to feel?” These questions guide them to think more deeply about their preferences and intentions, helping me gather the right clues to guide my design process. It’s through these conversations that their desires start to come into sharper focus.

Designing a space is not an overnight process. It’s not about rushing to a conclusion but about building a relationship with the space—and with the client. Just like therapy, the design process involves trust, vulnerability, and the patience to let ideas evolve. Clients may start off uncertain, but as we dive deeper into discussions, we begin to uncover their core needs. (This usually distorts the quotation, but it's usually a sacrifice on my part)

This part of the journey requires patience. Often, clients need time to process their thoughts, feel comfortable enough to open up, and gradually define what they want. It’s not uncommon for clients to change their minds or realize that their first instinct doesn’t align with what they truly desire. That’s completely normal. The design process is a fluid, ever-evolving conversation.

I’ve found that when clients feel heard and their input is valued, they start to trust the process and open up more. It’s this patience and trust that forms the foundation of a successful collaboration, allowing me to craft interiors that speak to their individual personalities, tastes, and aspirations.

While my clients may be unsure of their exact desires, they often know when something feels right. That’s where my role as a space therapist takes on an additional layer of responsibility—providing direction. After guiding my clients through the process of self-discovery, I offer curated suggestions and tailored advice that align with their now-clear vision.

This is not about imposing a one-size-fits-all solution, but about presenting them with choices that match their newly articulated desires. I might suggest a color palette based on a conversation about their mood preferences or recommend furniture styles that fit the practical needs they've shared. Through the application of my expertise, I help steer the design process while maintaining the integrity of their original vision.

As with therapy, direction doesn’t mean controlling the conversation; it’s about giving my clients the tools they need to confidently express themselves. It’s about fostering an environment where they feel empowered to make decisions, knowing they have my professional guidance every step of the way.

In the end, the interior design process is a journey—a therapeutic one, at that. Clients come to me uncertain, but through patience, active listening, and thoughtful direction, their desires become clear. The transformation isn’t just about their physical space, but about their emotional connection to it. When they see the final result, they often express a sense of relief, clarity, and joy—because together, we’ve created something that feels truly aligned with who they are.

This is why I call myself The Space Therapist. I don’t just design spaces; I guide my clients through an introspective journey that helps them uncover the best version of their interior world. In the end, it’s not just about creating a beautiful space—it’s about designing a space that truly speaks to their heart.

Remember that at Jedacox Imaginations, we see spaces as canvases we create life in.

ALA PEPPLE

#MyWhy #interiordesigner #interiorspaces #alapepple #viral #read #clients #blog #why

A Good Mother Or Not?

 

During my visit to the hospital, the doctor asked me the weight of my baby at birth and my response was that I didn’t know.

The doctor looked at me surprisingly and his next statement was “but it’s not been long you had her.” 

I smiled knowing that if he asked me more questions besides her blood group and date of birth, he would be wasting his time to get a response.

Truth be told, I get confused with the year sometimes, but I have managed to register it now.😅

After I got married, I realized I started having more mummies give me details on child birth and somany intrinsic details that I always wondered how they would remember such after tens of years.

Knowing me and knowing my kind of memory for some kind of details, I just knew it would be difficult to keep up. But just maybe, when I become a mother, this kind of memory might just fall on me.

Fafafa fowl!🤣😂😅 It became worse.

I managed to hold on to my daughter's weight, height, the exact time of delivery and other details for about 5 months and only the most important to the best of my understanding stuck with me.

Does this mean I’m not a good mother?

I see a lot of women judge themselves because they can’t hold on to things like these. Especially when they see other women talking about things like these and they are trying hard to remember but can’t remember.

I, for one, dislike waking up early except it’s business related, but I force myself to do so for the sake of my little girl. At some point I was asking myself why we took her to school when she’s not even up to two. I accept I’m learning on that but I wouldn’t judge myself as not a good mother because of that.

Motherhood is such a beautiful yet painful journey. Everything about the woman changes. Even if she’s killing it like nothing has changed, she’s just doing a good job masking the changes and giving the best of herself out there.

Hello Mother, judge not thyself. You are doing an amazing job. 

Carrying a child, birthing the child, nursing the child and still trying to be all that you can be is not an easy feat.

Sometimes you wish you could take a break from motherhood? And this happens so often?

It doesn’t make you less of a wonderful mom.

As to the question if I’m a good mom or not, my response is, I’M A FANTASTIC and FABULOUS MOM.

I know you are too.🤗

I’m rooting for you.👍🏽

©Ala Pepple.

#alapepple #mother #motherhood #iwd #mothersday

THE GOOD PERSON & THE INTENTIONAL GOOD PERSON

A good person is different from an intentional good person.

Ala, what do you mean?

I have seen lots of people who are good but have so many character flaws that if you choose to judge them by that, you wouldn’t classify them as good.

Character flaws are categorized differently. 

For instance, someone might have grown up not doing the dishes in their home and, over the years, the person has concluded not knowing how to do the dishes. 

This person might be intelligent, emphatic, spiritual, caring, etc. but lack this basic homely skill.

This person is good, right?!

If this person chooses to stick with “I don’t know how to do dishes and gets married and leaves all the dishes” for his wife even when she is ill or busy with their infant, does that stop the person from being a good person?

Not exactly. However, to the wife, she might see him as being insensitive when she is unable to really do the dishes, especially when she dislikes having dirty dishes lying around.

An intentional good person will however, first accept that he is short in the area of washing dirty dishes (awareness), then he will make up his mind to take steps to start doing it in order to get better at it. Then he starts doing it.(This shows intentionality).

Truth be told, growing up not doing something or knowing how to do something when it’s a necessary skill to acquire isn’t an excuse for not learning how to do it.

If you were all alone in a place where you know no one, wouldn’t you make an effort to do it?

You could pile them up for days, but one day you will do it grumbling under your breath.

I see people say, “that is how I am” and I wonder how they can be grownups yet be immature in how their minds work.

Be an intentional good person.

A friend of mine used to be addicted to pornography and when he finally broke out of it, he took intentional steps to protect himself from relapsing.

There are a few times he would call and say, Ala, I mistakenly saw this, and it triggered me to look. However, I’ve taken these steps by unfollowing who triggered it, or going off social media for a few days, etc. 

That is trying to be accountable and intentional about being a better version of himself.

He is married now, and his wife is now his accountability partner.

So many people are married to and are in relationships with good people that are not intentional to be better versions of themselves.

If you are not an intentional good person, try to be. It will do you, your spouse (future spouse), your children, family, life and society good.

My Thoughts.

©Ala Pepple

#alapepple #good #life #lessons #blog

WETIN DEY SMELL?

 

“Wetin Dey smell?” My mum asked as I drove out of the filling station. “Na the fuel o! E Dey smell like something wey rotten” she said.

I tried to turn on my nasal senses but then again, I thought in my head, do I want to perceive what is rotten under this hot and harmattan breeze?

I immediately tried to take my mind off the smell.

As I did, it brought to my mind how we borrow perceptions from people and situations because we turn on our sensory system to feel what they feel and perceive what they perceive. In turn, we borrow their perceptions and it then seems like it’s ours.

Some persons have borrowed and replaced theirs without even knowing they have.

You read on that blog, IG or X about marriage and you feel they are living your reality. They say all men are scum and you take it hook line and sinker. It gets so real that the kind of men that approach you act like scum.

They say all men are cheats and you take the pill with your full chest. It then surprises you that the men who come close to you are flirts and cheats?

You know, the gates which are the eyes, ears, mouth and nose are so important yet we take them for granted.

What you see, hear, speak and perceive become your reality.

This is the sole reason why I don’t joke with social media. I protect what I see and read. If someone I follow starts posting things that do not align with things I value, I unfollow. It’s so serious that if they start posting half naked ladies, I unfollow.

I’m a lady right? Why should half naked girls bother me when I’m a lady too?

Truth is I don’t support indecency so it’s against things I value. I move.

This also happens with half naked guys or guys highly within my speck. I just avoid the temptation of going into comparison of them with my husband.

Being intentional about things you let in will do you a lot of good.

Now, think about it, WETIN DEY SMELL?!

My Thoughts.

©Ala Pepple

#life #alawilcoxblog #alapepple # story #reality

SCARS

 A scar is a mark remaining after the injured tissue has healed.

Growing up, I had lots of bittersweet experiences, but I smiled through them. This is one of the reasons my very close friends call me strong. Something terrible can happen to me and I show up like it was something very trivial.

I have experienced abandonment, molestation, rape, robbery, one-chance, betrayal, near kidnap for me, while my friend was kidnapped at gunpoint before my eyes and more. These experiences have helped me see life from a more vigilant, constructive, and analytic perspective.

A scar indicates that you have been healed, yet reminds you of what you have gone through. My cesarean scar reminds me of the sacrifice I had to make to birth my Angel. My appendicitis scar reminds me of the excruciating pain I had to go through physically, mentally, and emotionally as it was assumed that I was pregnant, and my mum was told to take me for a test because they saw me talking with a boy on the street (one of the reasons I hate hearsays and I give people benefit of the doubt except proven otherwise.)

Scars can be for a good cause, and even if it wasn’t for good when it happened, it taught you something. It gave you an experience that can help you make better decisions in life and help you navigate a path where you avoid making mistakes you made before that resulted in getting wounded.

I remember a friend saying “Was he not the one that raped you?” during an argument because she wanted to make a point. It hurt so much at that time, not because I was ashamed she said it where strangers were but because it was something I shared in confidence, and thinking she could win an argument or prove a point by rubbing that in,  was a level of betrayal I couldn’t comprehend, however, I got over it almost immediately. One of my slogans is, “You cannot shame the shameless.” Life goes on. I only realized my true place and level of value in that friend’s life. (Realize I still term the person a friend?)

Recently, I was genuinely concerned about a friend’s safety, especially as her mum always called to ask me about her whereabouts. It happened to be that I had to always put a call through to have an idea of where she was at in order to be able to account for her if her mum couldn’t reach her. On this particular day, the last I heard from her was when she said she was going to pick up an item, and I didn’t know where or what it was.

I tried reaching her about two hours after I spoke with her and it rang once and was switched off immediately after. I was okay until it was almost 8 p.m. which was five hours later. I got worried that I was forced to call a mutual friend who said she had not heard from her all day. I literally started panicking. I could hear the sound of my heartbeat in my chest. This is very unusual for me but I’m guessing it’s because of how much of police officers I’ve seen recently mounting on the road that are relentless and don’t care if it’s a woman or a man driving, and after the EndSARS protest that revealed a lot of misdeeds from some officers, I am not too trusting of their incessant mounts on the road.

Well, can you guess what she told me on the phone because I called two people to find out if they heard from her? She said to me “I was always thinking evil.” This threw me off-balance and I became dumbfounded. I even cried. (Whew!)

My experiences have made me be more vigilant and careful. I wear my scars with pride but I don’t think evil. This made me understand that you can genuinely love people and do things because you care but they could interpret it otherwise. Don’t beat yourself over them. Love them from a distance, care for them as Christ has instructed us to, but respect your boundaries in their lives. You might have assumed more boundaries than you are given, and that’s okay. Just learn and move on.

Personally, I am Minister for Mind Your Business affairs, until you give me room to come closer. I respect boundaries too, and I have made her know that I understand perfectly, the boundaries I shouldn’t cross. Let me face myself and my family.

Well, it brought to the forefront of my mind that our experiences could come with scars, nevertheless, they help us do better if we choose to.

I rest my case.

 

ALA PEPPLE©

Have you had any similar experience? What did you learn? Kindly share with me.

#blogpost #blog #scars #lessons #life #post #blogger #alapepple

TODAY (ePISODE 4)

Today was quite interesting. It started off with my Bible plan for today which had an action section that requested that in this season of Christmas, I help a random person who wouldn't expect me to. 

I love thinking out of the norm, so I was thinking of what I could do asides from giving to the less privileged or widow. It was not until later hours of the afternoon when a driver who didn't hear clearly my destination, stopped me halfway through my journey and wanted me to pay double for something that would have cost me the same amount as what he took. 

Truth is, the day had been looking for ways to get me upset but I bluntly refused. This was just one of the tricks of getting on my nerves as the sun was excruciatingly hot. 

I finally got off the taxi without many words and as I considered the sun, taking another vehicle and walking, I decided to walk, but just before I crossed over to continue my journey, I saw four women wearing a beautiful uniforms. The material was so unique that I couldn't ascertain if it was meeting people or occasion attendees. However, I noticed it looked like they were in a little argument and one person was taking the heat, but there was something striking about her, and that was her blouse. Whoever made it, sabi the work. In the midst of the tense atmosphere, I told her your blouse is beautiful and to the other ladies, I mentioned with a smile that they looked good. The atmosphere was the total opposite of what it was before I have those compliments.

As they smiled and said thank you, I realized that I just gave peace, love, joy, and contentment to people I didn't know.

Giving is far beyond the physical and emotional, it transcends to the psychological which affects every other aspect. The self-esteem of these women has been ignited and that has killed a tough thought process I can't explain. 

I also gave a girl in the eatery a compliment about her slippers. Oh my! She was glowing. 

This taught me that, people go through a lot that money can't completely buy. If you put a smile on a person's face by just saying nice things to them, you improved a life. 

Wouldn't you rather live life improving other lives with just little things you don't need money to get? 

Improve a life today.

Old but essential post.😊

Ala Pepple

Pelumi my friend

Pelumi (not her real name) used to be my very close friend, however, after a few years, we realized we didn't really share the same values.

When we met at the wedding where we sat together in, it seemed like we were like minds. After we shared our contacts and became WhatsApp buddies, with time I inherently thought we shared the same values.

You know that thing where you post a thing and the person is telling you what you would ordinarily say? At times, it looked like she picked my brain in some matters. Her boyfriend on the other hand was totally different from who she depicted to be. He loved parties, he drank a lot, he knew how to give her the silent treatment when they had issues and he flirted a lot.

I don't use to put my mouth out in relationship matters. Even when they ask my opinion, I use wisdom and never sound direct (before they'll use me and settle matters.)😃

As we became closer friends and she shared stuff with me, I always asked her why she put up with everything, but she never really had the right words to express herself.

Her other friends I got to meet, on the other hand, saw nothing wrong with sleeping with married men, cheating in their relationships, and lying. I was extremely uncomfortable with that because it didn't merge with who I have worked myself to be. I would usually be mute anytime I was caught up with them. I literally started using my tongue to count my teeth around Pelumi, despite the fact that she didn't really portray these characters.

I've had really crazy friends before. In fact, I still do, but over the years, I've seen them transform to be better people. I've seen some meet Jesus and their lives have changed for the best. Some have just matured into choosing what is right to what is wrong. This has made me always give room to people despite their shortcomings. Jesus also exemplified that for us while He was here on earth.

It's been about two years of friendship with Pelumi and boom, I realized she wasn't who she has been claiming to be.

Pelumi lied so easily. When I noticed her words didn't always add up, I started doubting everything she told me about her now ex-boyfriend. While Pelumi came visiting, we took a stroll and one of her lovers saw us. He made the mistake of saying some nasty things (that seemed sexy to him) and he was literally hitting on me too. She told him I wouldn't be interested, but he was adamant, thinking I was like her other friends. Embarrassed and speechless was what I was when he made reference to a night they had a threesome and I remember that she was still dating her ex then.

Immediately we left his presence, I started asking questions as a good friend should, but she became defensive when her words didn't add up and I cross-questioned her with facts. At that point, I knew it was time to give a long rope. But I decided to give a few chances for her to be honest with me. 

In no time, I realized my friend took any chance to party. She was a social butterfly and wouldn't say no to any occasion. I also realized that she was an impulsive spender as she spent to show off. When she hung out with the girls, she sorted the bills and would go broke trying to look like a big girl.

No wonder she always complained of not having cash even when she had a job that paid well. I started understanding why some days she would be incommunicado and would always have stories of how she needed to take some days to cool off whereas, in reality, she never takes time to spend with her thoughts.

I have social butterflies as friends but I know they say no sometimes and they shut out and recuperate in some cases.

I've tried to talk to Pelumi to try to do a review of her life by having an honest conversation with herself because I sincerely see a better person.

Pelumi is set in her ways and I'm now fully minding my business as na woman like me she be.

Why did I say Pelumi's story?

She once said, "I always go out because that's how I relax."

My question is, is it possible to not have time for yourself privately and still be relaxed? Do people really function well without being retrospective once in a while? How does always being out and social without alone time help people relax?

Pelumi and I talk once in a while, but I no longer see her as my friend. Friends don't lie about who they are. They tell you the truth and allow you to accept them for who they are. Pretending to share values you don't believe in is deceitful.

Another thing is, your company really matters. It is a reflection of who you are. This is not totally true, but imagine how her friend thought I was one of the threesome types just because I was hanging out with her.

When I was younger, it didn't mean much to me how you are, but now, it's of extreme importance.

This is the end of my story.

Kindly list the lessons you derived from this story.

Ala Onyeka Pepple

#blog #pelumi #friends #blogger #story #questions #life #decisions #lessons

HEARTTALK

All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

Proverbs 16:2 NIV

A person may believe he is doing right. But the Lord will judge his reasons.

Proverbs 16:2 ICB

These scripture stuck with me during Word Alive Service today. While listening to one of our special songs we had to minister today, there was a line that I kept asking myself if I really meant it from the deepest part of my heart. That line was, "For Your glory, I will do anything." Really?🤔In-short, I saw those days were I deliberately disobeyed God's instruction because I wanted to be a coconut head.😟 Yes o! I'm a work in progress. T for Thanks. However, it doesn't change the fact that I disobeyed. The question is why? 

Looking at the world today, it is inherently almost impossible to not fall short. Starting from our eyes, what we see, watch and listen to. We claim it's trending. The things we listen to. Trends right?!

How about how we treat God so conveniently like He is our puppet. We literally want God to do what we want Him to do, but most of the time we don't want to do what He has asked for us how He has asked it of us. We live our lives as we please and term it "grace." Yes, grace is available for us daily, but does that mean we should misuse it? Let's not delve into fornication, it seems like a norm to the godly folks. Talking about it seems like you are judging.

Anyways, the truth is, I had a heart talk with myself starting from when I had the intention to sing the song "For Your glory". When I don't mean what I say but I'm saying it, I'm lying. I just realized singing it is the same as saying it. Weird that it's just striking in my head as that now. Sitting to listen to the word and seeing this scripture (Prov 16:2ICB, NIV) too also made me understand that God is trying to do a heartwork on me. Toomany things I might think are okay but aren't.

I learnt something as a child in Sunday School, WWJD (What Will Jesus Do?) It's so important as christians to understand that we are representatives of Christ and having a heart check as to our intentions on everything is so important.

Are you doing what you are doing because it's trending, or because it makes you feel important/among or it increases your values positively or it's godly or it's right, etc?

Why do you do what you do?

Thank God I'm finally getting back to listening. You should too.

Allow God to do a heartwork on you.

It's still your girl, Ala Pepple.

Your Interior Designer and every other thing I'm good at.✌

#hearttalk #wwjd #christian #godly #unpopular #motive

My BIG TUMMY Story

 

I chuckled so hard as I saw the size of my tummy in the mirror. No wonder my mum had not let me hear word since she got back from the Christmas holiday. She'll always announce to me when she visits "Onyi, you have really added weight o! From your tummy to your thighs." I'll always laugh and tell her, "mummy, is tummy that big o, I did not kii person. By the way, it's as a result of eating every sweet thing that crossed me, drinking soda (even if I watched this more), and eating by past 1 am."

I was literally laughing at myself as all this played out in my head.

I remember how worried I was when I left the hospital and it felt like a ball dropped down in my tummy. I was so scared and perturbed that I disturbed my husband to go to the hospital before the time I was required to come. When my vitals were checked, I was told my BP was really high. This has never happened to me before. I sha told the nurse that it was because I was worried, she shouldn't worry as it will go down in no time. There are some things I spoke to God about regarding my life and health, and I know He wouldn't let me have them.

As it got to my turn to see the doctor, he looked at me and asked if it was me he was seeing that had that high bp reading. I laughed at it. Truth is, while waiting, I had spoken with some mothers who told me they doubted it was something I needed to worry about as it would normalize. The doctor insisted to check my bp first just to be sure that I was okay. Well, my bp was very normal when he checked. We literally laughed about it.

I laid down and he checked me and assured me I was okay and told me that the womb was going to go back to its normal position with time.

Nna eh, I wasn't told CS was like this o! When I was induced to birth my baby that stopped breathing after over six months, I suffered seating in hot water and enduring the hot press, but my tummy was back and better in no time. 

I'm not used to having a big tummy so this became a thing for me. I wasn't comfortable with myself. I wore big clothes that made me look really fat, I literally covered up anytime my husband was around and I got angry that he wasn't looking at me plenty plenty when I made the sacrifice for the two of us.😂I wanted him to make me feel validated.

Well, I got tired at some point and started talking to myself to snap out of it.

Ahnahn now! There are ladies that haven't gone through the stress of childbirth and my tummy is better than theirs so why do I have to break my head? (It's no comparison, it's giving me morale.)

I consciously started snapping out of it and feeling good in my new look.

This doesn't mean I am not going to work on myself, but, I need time to BREATHE. It's almost like I was pregnant for sixteen months, then I want to snap out of the stretch and stress in six months. Impossicant!

Meanwhile, this tummy thing is on and off o. Some days, it will reduce, other days, it will surmount.😂

Why am I writing this sef?

Hello new momma, you've just brought a human into this world. Some of our genes will not permit us to just snap back to shape like some would, so, give yourself a break. This doesn't mean you should be unkept and just be anyhow, but, take your time with yourself. In time, you will have the strength and courage to take on exercise and dieting. In time, you would either take a new shape that you should love or go back to the old shape you use to love.

Give yourself time.

Heal. Live. Nurture yourself and your baby. Don't expect so much validation from your spouse, validate yourself by yourself. Your spouses' validation should just be a topping on the cake. Take care of your mental health. Anywhere you know they'll stress you, stay away.

You need to be mentally good to take on your new role.

Society expects us to still be everything we were before we embarked on this mummy journey but who says you must do whatever society thinks of you? 

Go easy on yourself mama.😘

Daddy wa, soon to be daddy, your wife needs all the support you never thought she needs. This is the time she expects you to look in her eyes and tell her 'she is beautiful.' Tell her how courageous she is for embarking on this journey for both of you. Tell her to take her time and that you would be there to show mental support when she is ready to start keeping fit. Trust me, your words will mean more than any other human's words at this time. She will feel loved and would have the courage to be ready earlier. Do things for her like charging her phone, giving her warm water to drink in the morning and maybe at night, help change the baby's diaper at night. Encourage her to extract milk so that she could take some rest at night while you take over the duty. Truth is, the majority of women love acts of service in this vulnerable time.

You can tell me thank you when she starts loving and adoring you more when you do these things.😉

As for me chuckling now, shebi I cannot come and kee myself? ọnụ ụtọ (sweet mouth) did not allow me to be great stomach-wise this festive period.😂 Accept me as I have accepted myself.😁 (Google helped me with the igbo of course.)😜

My story haf finish.

Byebye!😄

Ala Onyeka Pepple.

Your Space Therapist and every other thing I'm good at.😜

#blog #blogger #mybigtummy #story #life #motherhood #childbirth #wife #emotions #lessons #courage #heal #mentalhealth #validate #breathe

That weird NIGERIAN

 

I am one of those weird Nigerians that isn't looking forward to japa for good. It's so serious that before I accepted my husband's proposal, I had to ask him if he had plans of relocating to Yankee. The human being gave me the answer that shared with my thoughts about leaving Nigeria. This doesn't mean I don't want to travel round the world. This is one of the things I look forward to doing in the nearest future, but I don't look forward to living outside Nigeria.

When I share this, many persons think I'm not okay or I love suffer. Lailai o! I love soft life more than I can even imagine.😅

Truth is, everyone differs and we all have the path that we need to walk to actualize our purpose here on earth. I understand that, and I'm walking my path.

Today is Independence Day in Nigeria, and I am proud to be a Nigerian at this time. It's amazing to see the force Nigerians are coming with to create the future we need. I have never seen so much enthusiasm to bringing in better leaders as I see now. I've never seen the force of oneness play out as it is playing now, especially within the youths.

The #ENDSARS movement metamorphosed into a force to change and shape Nigeria for the better. I believe a better Nigeria is here. I speak in faith. I speak believing.

Our scars as a nation would be the reason for us to find healing and our healing will be an inspiration to other nations and people.

I pledge to Nigeria my country, to be faithful, loyal and honest. To serve Nigeria with all my strength. To defend her unity and uphold her honour and glory. So help me God.

Ala Pepple

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THE STORY OF JUNE 23RD

On this day, I was to receive my most precious gift from my union with my husband, but it was cut short.

I was so excited that it was my antenatal day and I couldn't wait to hear my baby make noise through their machine.

It was weird to have spent over 20 minutes with the doctor, yet no heartbeat. I was just praying inside me that the worst should not be the case. After going for a scan and coming back to the doctor, what I heard next was "Ala, are you alone? Who came with you? Please take off your nosemask and take a deep breath." In my mind, I was like, Aunty say what you want to say na. It was so hard to hear those words, "your baby is no longer breathing. We couldn't get a heartbeat."😔

Chills ran through my veins, spirit and body.😢 "Please go to another hospital for confirmation then come back for an evacuation."

I called my husband to give him the worst news. This was someone who just went back to work three days before. We even went shopping for the baby on his last visit. I had to encourage him to be strong because he was at work.

As I was heading to my mum's from the hospital to get someone, accompany me to the hospital; I played the song that came to me that morning as I woke up "Victory by Elevation Church." I had unnecessary setbacks with Bolt that was really annoying. I just put that song on repeat till I got to my mums'.

How could I have had a smooth ride till over 6 months then boom, baby is gone?❓❓ I was wondering what didn't I do, what did I do, how did this go wrong. I even asked why He would allow such happen when I laid my hands and prayed for my baby daily.

As I approached my mum's house, she told us to pray before we go to another hospital, and in the bid of praying, together with my sister, I lamented uncontrollably in tears. "Why?" My mum started hushing me, and of course I pounced on her in anger. "How can I stop?" 😡That was what I asked her. After our prayers for a miracle, we went to another hospital, and the sonographer saw the one that made us believe I might need a surgery.

How can? At that point, I got so vexed in my spirit. I said I would not undergo a surgery and not carry my baby. Never!

In my head, I thought there was a drug that would be given to me to just flush out the baby, but it was surprising to me that I had to be induced. I'm a novice at these things. It was some tough two days for me.

Finally, our baby was born still. Our baby was super cute. Had all the hair I was praying for. Beautiful nails and legs. How do I know these things you may ask? I opted to see the baby.

Like I pushed a baby o.😊 Within those two days I was in that pain, the word of God through music was one of the things that saw me through, and the stories of others I knew who lost their babies this way or at birth but now have so much joy with their children now. It seems like the worst never happened because of the joy of their children at hand.

Sitting on the bed after the doctor, nurses, my mum and mum-in-law had congratulated me; the only thing that I could hear in my spirit was to start up some sort of support community for wives. Since that day, I've had many wives tell me their stories, without me asking, of their miscarriages and still birth. I've had wives talk about what they do and changes they've had to make. It's like I started attracting wives that had different experiences. All of a sudden, I was a person women wanted to share things with.

Recovering is another story. Sitting on hot water, being pressed with hot water, breastfeeding, in my case, wearing tight bras inorder not to lactate, was a biggy. Like, what! Women go through plenty things jare.

Women give up their names, time, work, business, location and so much more to harness a home and be an incubator for a new human.

Women go through so much and still act like nothing really changed.

We have to say these things out. We have to encourage each other and share our challenges. There's nothing new under the sun. We can learn from each other. Instead of being in competition with one another.

Imagine that what you've gone through can give hope to another woman. You just impacted, inspired and saved another woman the pain of depression.

This is a call out to newly wed women and the most experienced women still in marriage. Let's connect, share, learn, and share hope to ourselves.

Join our new community of women 'Wives Community' and let's make womanhood an easier task.

We need each other to help upcoming others.

©Ala Pepple.

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DECEIT OR NOT?

 

You have 15 mentors and 10 fathers. Who are you deceiving, you or us?

It beats me when I see people act like leeches around influential people, just because they want to be associated with them, or rather, they want people to know that they are in association with them.

Hilarious!

I love Genevieve Nnaji. I love RMD and I love Rita Dominic amongst others. I've had a time as a child, that my aunt Soph, brought Genevieve to our house.

I remember being called from church during Bible Club that my Aunt just arrived the house (I can't remember the country she came back from at the time.)

I got home and to my utmost surprise, I saw Genevieve first, I rushed to go give her a hug, like I knew her before then.

My Aunt certainly guilt tripped me for not seeing her first, and there was another actress there too that I totally didn't see. I knew my Aunt brought goodies for me and they didn't waste much time. I remember telling Genevieve that I liked her and her films, and I wanted to act just like her.😄 She smiled and listened to my talks and wishes as we walked down our stairs and when they got into my Auntie's red car whilst the whole neighborhood was watching in amazement, I waved them goodbye. I literally became the most popular girl that had held, hugged and spoken with the Ijele Princess.😄 There was no verbal request I didn't get to send to her when I spoke to her again. I remember vividly, one of our neighbors, telling me he loved her 😂😂. That one I saw as a joker after then. (Wahala for person wey dey love who en fit no see again)😂

I certainly had ridden on this atmosphere for a while before it dawned on me that I myself might not see her again and that it was just for the moment and me didn't use that opportunity well. I checked on my Aunty more regularly because I wanted to hear "I'm with Genevieve", so that I can get the chance to speak to her again.

I remember when I got to the teenage age and was pursuing acting on the side as a career; one of the production outfits said they had plans to bring Genevieve and I was working so hard on my script to be in perfect precision when she came around. It sha did not work, abi they just scammed us with that one to take them more seriously.

As I grew older, I started asking myself questions about the successful people we like, is it for eye service, to be like them, to be truly mentored by them or to be termed associated with them?

Many times, if we search deeply, it's for the wrong reasons.

You want to take a picture with that celebrity because you want people to see that you saw or you are associated with that celebrity. You want to carry the pastor's bag because you want him to know your name and see you as hardworking, not because you really want to serve. You want that influential person to know your name so that when he addresses you outside, people would see you as important. There are too many more instances.

Working in a radio station during my IT, I remembered when Asa came to the studio, and I did backup singing professionally at that time, my friend at the office then, wanted me to go very close to her, but I was adamant because I wasn't sure it is was the music path I wanted fully. But then again, why am I going to do gumbody sef?

Years of deep thoughts have taught me to always ask myself why I do what I want to do before I do it. 'What is my motive behind my action?' is always at the back of my mind. This has helped me to stay on my lane and work on myself to be a better version of me which will then easily attract influential people to me.

A guy I don't know too well once told me, "likes attract". That steered me to think differently even if I've heard it countless times. 

My mantra is to do what I do the best way I can, learn to do it better than I did it before, unlearn the things I need to unlearn, be myself at all times, never try to please anyone but God, comport myself, work intelligently, become a person of positive influence that would attract other positive influencers, join our influence together and make the world a better place.

What is your motive? What is your mantra?

You can have your own opinion, but these are my thoughts.

©ALA PEPPLE