MY LIFE IS A STORY 2 (THE RELATIONSHIP THAT TURNED BIZARRE)

He was an old friend that I started nursing feelings for somehow. No! My friends wouldn’t even believe me if I said I nursed feelings for him but it was necessary for them to doubt because I termed it a start and quench feeling. He was that kind of friend that when he got close, we would look all mushy but when he was gone; I might not even remember we were really close. I’m sure some of you have cast a stone at me with questions like “why didn’t you call when he was away?” my dear, I’m not perfect and I have my own struggles too but, that is story for another day. 

Where was I? Okay! After some years of not reaching out to each other, he finally reached to me and this time we went beyond being friends after a few months to being in a relationship but with the/a clause “any day the feelings seemed to be diverted to another person, we would let ourselves in on it” cause kpatakpata, at least “no be marriage yet”, plus the fact that we have liked ourselves for a while but took time to really realize that and the off and on syndrome we operated in before now. Truth is, in reality, there was a need for that clause.

Fast forward to a few months into the relationship, when we were “in love”. Hahaha! Love oh!

When this intoxicated love started clearing off, I was told that “I advice too much”. The shock that gripped me that day in the eatery was unimaginable but as the babe that I am, I just maintained and took all the answers to my questions for reasons why we were drifting apart.

I was offended for such a flimsy reason but I had to also ask myself questions, have retrospect of conversations I’ve had with him and called a few friends to do a survey on me and conversations and I came to a conclusion that I had to work on not always providing solutions when I’ve not been asked to which means I don’t give advice especially in a relationship when I am not asked of my opinion. Now, this has a deeper meaning attached but I’ll let your minds dissect what it means.

We are no longer in a relationship but we remain just friends.

*****

•    Many times, we want to point accusing fingers to someone else but seize to look at ourselves first and see what we get wrong we could correct.

•    One’s complaint of you might be inconsequential to you but if you look deeper than the emotional hurt you feel, you will find something you could change about you that will make you better and more logical than you thought you would ever be.

•    Your past is your past but it is a roadmap to a better future. Learn every part of it as it prepares you for tomorrow.

•    Meanwhile, you’ve got feelings for someone doesn’t mean you must end up together. Let it go when you notice you are not compatible. A relationship is not a must.

•    Give advice where and when it is needed except in cases you just need to. Especially with younger ones.

That’s it.

I rest my case.

My Thoughts.

©Ala Onyeka Wilcox